The Lives in the Balance Podcast

That's what a mom who called into the program has been told about why her son is doing no work in his 10th grade English class.  But he's doing work in all of his other classes...so there must be an unsolved problem in English class. Sounds like a job for Plan B!

A very interesting start to the new year...on today's program, we spent some time talking with a mom who's at the beginning of her CPS journey...and responding to a dad who was struggling with whether CPS would help his son deal with the demands of The Real World.

Lots of callers on today's program...one just getting started on Plan B, another slogging through the mud with a solution that hasn't been durable, and a seasoned hand getting ready for what could be a tough discussion. All part of the process..

Among the parents Dr. Greene and Susy responded to on today's program was a mom who's been struggling with her children's behavioral challenges for a long time and feels they're slipping away.

This is a program worth listening to...a dad called in to provide us with an update on his first attempt at Plan B with his son...he heard concerns from his son that a wooden spoon (the primary problem-solving tool from the father's upbringing) wouldn't have addressed. But the key theme for the day was TIME: Plan B saves it, but it takes time and planning to get that ball rolling.

As we were reminded by the mom who called in near the end of the program, it can be very difficult to get schools to break out of traditional ways of operating to help behaviorally challenging students...but, as many schools throughout the world have shown, it can be done...

The best way to become convinced about the effectiveness of Plan B is to start using Plan B...and that was a consistent theme during today's program.

We heard from a few moms on today's program...one is grappling with her son's behavior problems at school. While the school counselor is receptive to solving problems collaboratively, she also wants to keep using adult-imposed consequences for behaviors that the child can "control." A good discussion of the things consequences do and don't do well...

Once caregivers identify a child's lagging skills and unsolved problems -- and there can be many of both -- it can be hard to home in on the top priorities...important to remember that all progress is incremental.

Could early childhood experiences affect a child's behavior later? Of course! How can you know the effects of those experiences? You probably can't know with great precision. What can you work on now? Lagging skills and unsolved problems... 

A mom -- who'd called in the week before to get some help drilling for information with her son -- called in again to provide an update...and her creative drilling strategies were very effective at helping her son communicate his concerns! A good program to listen to for parents who are struggling in the Empathy step of Plan B.

As always, a lot of territory was covered on this program, including a mom who called in for help figuring out why the solutions that are being applied to her son's difficulties haven't been accomplishing the mission.

Challenging behavior isn't a puzzle anymore when you put the Assessment of Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems (ALSUP) to work.      

On this, our last program of this "broadcast year" (the program airs from September through May), we responded to emails from several parents and talked with a mental health professional who's finding the CPS model very much in keeping with her values.  And, to close, we read emails from parents who are just beginning their CPS journeys with their children...we can't wait to hear back from them in...

When you're working on what happens WHEN an unsolved problem has already caused challenging behavior, you're focused on the aftermath of the problem.  So you don't want to work on WHEN...you want to paddle upstream and start solving problems BEFORE they cause those behaviors that are floating downstream.

Are ABA (applied behavior analysis) and CPS completely incompatible?  Well, CPS won't have you rewarding and punishing your child...but the real answer is that it depends on who you ask.

Some great questions answered on today's program, including the one in the title...but also how to transform "No" into an unsolved problem.  

Unfortunately, there are lots of things that have changed for the worse for kids in the last 40-50 years...maybe that explains it...  

On today's program we heard from a long-time caller who's been implementing the CPS model with her sons for over three years. We reflected a little on the "good old days," heard about how far her sons have come, and learned that Plan A isn't necessarily the best way to help a spouse use Plan B!

What should you do when your child is already in the midst of an explosive outburst?  Defuse, de-escalate, keep everyone safe.  Then figure out what just happened (so it doesn't happen again).

Challenging behavior occurs when the demands being placed upon a kid outstrip the skills the kid has to respond adaptively.  And the embarrassment factor plays a role as well.

A lot of territory covered on today's program, including a discussion on the following question:  If you're always collaborating with a kid and working toward mutually satisfactory solutions, won't the kid come to believe that he needs to meet expectations only when he feels like it?

If you're only paying attention to a child's challenging behavior, then modifying or medicating the behavior will make the most sense.  But behavior is what's happening downstream.  If you paddle upstream -- toward the problems that are causing the behavior -- other intervention strategies start to make a lot more sense.

As usual, lots of questions answered and topics covered from the mailbag during today's program, including the one in the title.

When you're in the Empathy step, are you seeking information about a child's concerns or unmet needs?  It's the former...when you're focused on the latter, you're more likely to hear about the child's solutions (rather than his or her concerns), and brainstorming solutions shouldn't occur until the Invitation.