The Lives in the Balance Podcast

Great conversation today about surviving school vacations, expectations for connecting with family, and what to do when you find yourself in the heat of the moment when out in public

We followed up on a B Team conversation about how do you know your expectations are reasonable?  Thanks to two emails, we tackled the notion that "too much power" is given to kids when we use Plan B, those addictive screens, and the idea that lagging skills are for lenses.

Holidays are a tough time for families, perhaps especially those with kids with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges. But it doesn't have to be that way, especially if parents are being responsive to the hand they've been dealt.

Started out with some technical difficulties but ended up with a fantastic episode!  Thanks to a caller, we talked about how to get started with the model, uses of the model, and wording of unsolved problems.  We also answered two emails - one about how the model works with young kids and one about using the model with an impulsive kid.

Lots of great updates from the Summer, then we covered an email from a parent who was interested to know how we view the ADHD diagnosis.  Thanks to a caller, we took a deep dive into using Plan B with screen time.

On our last program for the 2018-19 school year, we talked with a caller about her son's school frustrations and how to best work with the school.  Covered two emails as well - one asking about the PDA diagnosis and how to work with non-verbal kids, the other asking what to do when kids don't talk and when they don't follow through on solutions.

Thanks to a caller, we covered a lot CPS territory today including the need for a meeting of the minds among a child's team to make real progress, when to seek help to get to that consensus, and the importance of how to word unsolved problems.

Dr. Greene discussed the concept of screen "addiction" and whether Plan B can be helpful (it can!).  We also answered an email from a mom struggling with an aggressive 5 year old, and a family where the child will not talk to mom.

After a revisit of the role of Plan C, a caller got some ideas to troubleshoot her Plan B attempt with her daughter about stealing her sister's belongings.  A mother emailed in about her son "refusing to change."  ...and some fantastic updates about our documentary, The Kids We Lose!

The crew fielded lots of emails on today's program, along with a phone call with a mom who needed some help with Plan B. But the key theme of the program: when you're doing Plan B, you're not focused on dealing with a child's behavior in the heat of the moment...you're solving the problems that are causing those behaviors...and you're doing it collaboratively and proactively.

Lots covered on today's show thanks to many emailed questions (despite some technical issues): My son won't get off his phone to talk, what to do when big behaviors happen - won't my kid think it's ok to act that way?, work with 3-6 year olds in a Montessori setting, and expectations that aren't optional.

On this episode, we covered lots of questions that came in via email - how do consequences fit in with CPS?  When is it choice and when is it not?  The importance of self-care.  Can't get my kid to talk to me...to name a few.

On our first radio program of the fall, we heard from a mom who's having trouble getting her husband on boad with solving problems collaboratively with their child. There seems to be a lot of that going around, and the mom came away with lots of ideas. Listen to the program and you will too. 

On the first Monday of every month, at 11 am Eastern time, from September through May, Dr. Ross Greene and Lives in the Balance Director of Outreach Kim Hopkins-Betts – along with parents Stella Hastings and Jennifer Tretheway -- cover a wide range of topics related to behaviorally challenging kids in general and the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model in particular.  You can call...

Lots covered on this month's program including why use CPS with neurotypical kids?  Help for a father who can't get his kid to talk and specifics about Plan C.

Dr. Greene joined in the program today to offer reflections on the Parkland tragedy, and to partake in our continued discussion about what to do when your co-parent is not on board with CPS, as well as can you do CPS with young kids?

Lots of territory covered on today's program: How do you keep drilling when a kid says he doesn't have a problem with the unsolved problem? What do you do when the kid talks but says a lot of things that don't seem to have anything to do with the unsolved problem? What do you do when your co parent isn't on board with CPS?

We covered some important territory on today's program...on one call, a mom needed some reassurance that the Plan C she was doing with her daughter represented her conscious, deliberate effort to stabilize things...and that getting some Plan B back into the mix is her next step. 

Alas, the holidays are upon us, and it's the time of year when people are often nicer, kinder, gentler, more patient, and more empathic. So what's going wrong this year? Good to be reminded that we all do well if we can, and that we all exhibit challenging behavior (some more severe than others) when expectations outstrip skills. But we also a lot of trouble-shooting on today's program...

Thanks to the questions of a caller and a few emailers, we discussed how to get started with the CPS model, what to do if a solution isn't working, what to do with "I don't know," and how to handle defiance in the heat of the moment.

Siblings that don't play well together, the word "no," what to do in the heat of the moment, and what to do when a solution doesn't work...all covered on today's program, thanks to our B Team Parent Leaders and the fantastic questions we received from listeners!

On our first program of the new broadcast year, Dr. Greene welcomed his new co-hosts, Kim Hopkins-Betts (Director of Outreach at Lives in the Balance) and Jennifer, a B Team leader and parent. They were able to respond to several emails, including one from a mom who's been struggling with her behaviorally challenging 14-year old daughter for a very long time and who hasn't experienced much joy as...

So, if a parent feels like his or her lagging skills are contributing to challenging episodes with his or her child, then how does the parent learn the skills? The same way the kid does: by participating in Plan B, preferably proactively.

There sure are a lot of parents who are struggling with trying to get their schools to solve problems collaboratively with their students...and we heard from many of those parents on today's program.

It's a jungle out there for many behaviorally challenging kids, and we had another stark reminder of that sad fact on today's program.