The Last Thoughts of a Busy Mind

Of various ways to tell a story, sometimes none is as effective as the medium of videogames. They swallow one through their mazes of emotion of storytelling, and give the experience unmatched by most other forms of art. Now, what if one could be the creator of this experience? What if there was a meta-experience that allowed one to create their own videogame, using a videogame?

The act of seeing the hardship, providing poor results, and even embarrassing oneself on more than one occasion and then living to see yet another day and another attempt, is a virtue worth praising but a virtue that most times needs a smidgen of remembrance. It's easy to forget one's uphill journey into something greater, and it's easy to forget what it entailed when looking back at it through sh...

To be bilingual, is a blessing and a curse; especially when you approach the bilingual ability without a balance. As one language gets stronger, if you forget to exercise the other, it becomes weaker and weaker. But that's the upside of having a mother's tongue, no matter how weak it gets it's forever embedded into one's brain. And sometimes, one needs to speak in their birth language, just out of...

There's an undying quest, happening in an unrelenting cycle in the mind of every member of the human race. It's a quest that gives the illusion of going forward. It's the quest that satiates the little voice in the back of one's head. It's the quest with the most vague journey and the most outrageously vague reward, but it's one that all go through. The destination? Some undisclosed goal called be...

What is the purpose of a ghost? It's to frighten or to delight? One might express that the purpose of a ghost is purely in the eye of the beholder. They can be beautiful transparent memories wrapped in a fabric of their own making, or they can be a reminder of death itself wearing tattered remainders of some poor soul's clothing. All that they are, they are a specter, and one can't always foresee...

The tart, tangy and sometimes sour taste of a citrus, something that can be categorized as simply an "acquired" taste; but also can be a good way to separate one's life into manageable time chunks, not unlike pieces of a grapefruit. Whether juiced, cubed, carbonated or peeled, a grapefruit is something more than just a natural hybrid, it's a symbol. It's a way to look back at memories, it's yet an...

In a world filled with jacks of all trades, and masters of none; what if one is not even proficient enough to be called a jack of all trades, let alone master of none? The anxiety, the unforgivable nature of the world, and a sad and ugly truth of a lack of any marketable skill can bring about the old moniker of the great modern major general, who knew anything except what he was required to know....

Our habits have power over us, to some extent they are how we go on living and create who and what we are. But they are also harmful, if they fall into the comfort zone; whether that habit is something as severe as addiction or something as light as binging. Habits need re-evaluation every once in a while, and what can one do when one is faced with the question of "Why am I doing this?" and finds...

For some, partaking in a journey without a set course of action might seem like an adventure, and for some the exact scenario might be considered a horrifying nightmare; but what happens when the set course takes an unexpected turn, either towards a shortcut to something beautiful or a cliff with no warning signs? The question of what does the unexpected brings, is one that can throw any sane huma...

How does one justify or diagnose laziness? If laziness is an ailment, it needs symptoms. But symptoms for laziness are shockingly similar to other ailments. It could be depression, or lack of material, or simply a bad mood. But what if all of them, were just reasoning of a brain trying to justify a bad trait; trying hard to justify "laziness"?

When one looks back at one's own life, probably the most gruesome thing one can encounter is that horrifying whisper of "almost...". Looking through one's academic endeavors, one's career and many a project, the word one least expects to notice is "almost...". So why is that word, is the only thing one can look back at and say with certainty, that it has always been there? You can now email me at:...

Memories of someone who one considers important to their journey through the highs and lows of life, can sometimes be looked at through rosy-tinted glasses or through a haze of emotions that once fooled one into feeling a connection. But what if that is not the truth or at least it's only part of it? That is why there's need to sometimes look at those memories and look at those human beings with a...

The voice you heard, once upon a time, is back yet again and this time with a tale of woe. To a mind that is trying hard to express itself, obsession is an unwelcome but always present companion. To express means to relief one's brain of burden; and to keep quiet means building more and more structures out of a subject that might not require that much thought. To obsess, oh, what a miserable exist...

This episode has me sitting and talking with one of my closest friends, Amir Reza. We met a while ago online, and even though our physical interactions have been very limited, he is one of the people who knows about me and my life the most. So we talk about video games, our shared fear of death, Amir Reza's cat and our lives as perpetually single bachelors with anxiety issues. P.S. this was our fi...

When a journey ends, is it truly the end? Or is it just the beginning of a journey to a new destination? Life is an unpredictable monster, and new sensations bring new obsessions. One can easily stay within their confines, or one can begin something anew. Maybe a new hobby? Maybe a new gift? Maybe a new way of life? One can only know, when one tries.

When one is enthralled by an experience, it is not uncommon to want and recreate that in another form; maybe even as experiences for others. Thus begins the imagination of something grand, brought upon by the virtue of "Sid Meier's Pirates", and taking form into an idea for a series of unlikely mechanics and underdeveloped ideas.

How can one define strength? The amount of context and the amount of different sources of pressure on a brain at any given moment is so vast that to define strength seems impossible; and yet the human brain tries to define it at any given moment. Is one truly weak? Or is it the accumulation of many moments of weakness in succession? Is one truly strong? Or is luck playing a bigger part than it con...

The human brain works in mysterious ways. It requires accolades and praise to feel that rush of good emotions; but at the same time when it gets them it falls back on many insecurities to achieve one goal. That goal being proving that the one the brain controls is an imposter. When world seems out of order, when one tries and nothing is gained; one has to ask the odd question: is there some validi...

Idle hands are the devil's workshop, so to keep them busy it's better to work on one's own workshop. The act of finding, enjoying and doing a hobby, is one of the most enjoyable pastimes that humanity has created for itself. It gives a weary mind who might lack creative force something to focus on, and it gives way to creating something beautiful and majestic, if not completely personal.

Disorders. Disruptions of normalcy, or merely manifestations of genetic memory? Whatever the reason, whatever the cause, whatever the root, disorders are a part of the life for many a human. Everyone have their own brand of disorders that do their job to destroy their routine, to some extend even make life obsolete. This is a tale of two disorders, and one man's brain.

Music, in its core, is a subject of passion. The music that one listens to can define their view on the world, the rhythm of their life and the magnitude of their failures. So with something so close to passion, it's inevitable that the question of "taste" is more than prominent. The music taste takes so many forms, and brings on so many judgments; it makes groups, and makes isolation.

Loneliness is a condition too familiar to many a modern person. To be alone, almost seen falsely as a virtue, is a curse that riddled the life of many greats and many smalls, and the effects of which can break a soul or leave a scar so deep that healing seems unbearable in and of itself. Loneliness is the curse, that bewilders and beguiles; and brings that outspoken question: Why?

The world is full of broken promises, from one to another, from one to a group, and even from one to themselves. So when one comes back to a world that they left behind so many time just to enjoy one of the last remnants of a genre slowly dying out, fulfilling a promise is merely that chocolate syrup on top of a pretty good sundae. The syrup that would be missed, if it wasn't there.

When a new year approaches, it's finally time for one to look back at all that happened and to plan for all that is yet to happen. Maybe the blind optimism, or maybe the conditioning of looking at something somewhat new is the reason, but the association of all the misery with a particular number on a calendar is a tradition; one that a broken mind can look forward to with some degree of excitemen...

Sleep is more than just a great equalizer for the brain to gather all incoherent thoughts into a line and create coherence; sleep is also the guardian of the gate to the unwanted and unnerved thoughts that are safeguarded during the day. So when sleep is weak, it gives way to all kinds of craziness being free. The results? Something incoherent for sure, but also may contain that old nuggets of loo...