The Last Thoughts of a Busy Mind

Nowruz is the Persian new year, and can be translated literally as "new day". It's the harbinger of new things to come and a goodbye to all that was left behind. So, much like any other new year, it brings with itself some introspection and some resolutions. Possibilities seem endless. Severance, on the other hand, is an Apple TV+ tv show about a rigid system in which any acts to cha...

When one finally sits down and crosses off an item off of an overly robust "to-do" list, it fills one with pride. Pride over a job well done, and drive to keep that sense of pride alive and relevant. So, in pursuit of that feeling and that drive, one will try to look at the other items on that overly robust "to-do" list and plan to achieve them one by one. Coinciding that with the end of a tumultu...

When one is feeling the familiar feelings of sickness, it might be appropriate to conjure up memories and thoughts of the last feelings of sickness. It feels like a poorly planned and poorly received sequel to an already unpopular project, but such is the vice and the draw of sickness, and the loss of health. It will become even more dramatic when that return to sickness is coinciding with the sta...

In this episode, we're meeting in person as I sit down to talk with one of my oldest friends with almost 20 years of history, Kiarash. We met each other in elementary school, and despite our lives taking different shapes and different paths, we have remained friends. With such a rich history between us, and similar interests like fantasy (now!) and mythology, we got closer in school and remain...

Sometimes, things are so out of control that one needs to take all that one can and hope not to lose grasp of life itself. So, when one is nearing the point of giving up, or circling it, or landing on it, then it might be of some use to look forward. When one cannot fathom the idea of looking at one's life in its current form, maybe looking up from the ground and looking forward might help, ev...

When one has to deal with a chronic mental state for a long period of time; it seems therapeutic, if not a little cold-hearted, to celebrate the first time those chronic mental states showed their symptoms to one. When that fateful days comes once more, looking back can give a perspective of one's failures and successes, one's misfortunes and fortunes, one's life and its many facets. W...

The year 2024 has come to an end, for better and for worse... It was for better, for sure! With the end of the year coming, and a new year beginning, it's a good time to go back to the year that was just passed and view it through the eyes of the plans one had written for this year, what actually transpired through the year, and what will happen in the next year if one could plan it all out from t...

The year 2024 has come to an end, for better and for worse... It was for better, for sure! With the end of the year coming, and a new year beginning, it's a good time to go back to the year that was just passed and view it through the eyes of the plans one had written for this year, what actually transpired through the year, and what will happen in the next year if one could plan it all out from t...

Thus comes the end of 2024, and with it comes the realization of the myriad of projects that one has to endure. From hobbies to long forgotten dreams to lofty goals with great chances of missing, there's an avalanche of self-inflicted projects that one has to deal with on a daily basis. So, sometimes it can help one's mind prowess to map out those projects and see how one can deal with them one by...

Video games can give extraordinary experiences to people who play them. They can uplift and they can give joy, but they can also trigger introspection and self-discovery. "We. The Revolution", the 2019 Strategy Political Sim from Polyslash, is such a game. Though not overly complicated in style, it's narrative design can make you look back on your own actions and ask, sincerely and thoughtfully: A...

There are times when nothing seems to work, and everything becomes a massive mess of mismanaged time, physical fatigue, and emotional and mental degradation. When that whirlpool hits, sometimes one is not equipped to deal with it, and the usual safeguards seem shakier and less safe than before. In times like that, one can feel overwhelmed and weak, and as it spirals down into more and more chaos,...

Sometimes uncertainty is not the worst thing about the future, sometimes one has to deal with the things that might actually come, but they still do inspire fear. They inspire fear of the known, rather than the unknown. When one is dealing with that fear, it's good to accept it, but not let it become all that there is and there will be. It's good to check one's privileges, but also remember one's...

There are times of health and there are times of sickness, and then there are times of hidden sickness. When those times come, one has to do all sorts of undesirable things. Amongst them is the act of taking antibiotics, and dealing with the myriad of side effects that it does include. Fatigue and bodily aches aside, one has to deal with how this antibiotics exasperate the already fragile framewor...

Gamification has become more and more abundant with each passing day in the current climate of the online and offline world. More apps and more software are made every year with the goal of taking an aspect of everyday living and turning it into a quantifiable objective with a number to go along with it. And when one becomes conscious of this, it's hard to ever close one's eye on it. When it hits...

When one faces obstacles of immense pressure that one has beaten once before, sometimes the hubris of the previous encounters emboldens one's desire to repeat it. Sometimes, in the face of unnecessary hardships, one refuses to ask for help from proper providers, because one has gone through it once and has come victorious. When one is dealing with that, sometimes one wishes that the first go aroun...

When one notices that one is having more mental lapses in day-to-day life, and the crippling anxiety is getting worse and worse in dealing with anything more strenuous than laying down, one comes to a rather sound conclusion that paradoxically one is losing whatever remains of their "mind". So, what does one do? Except gather all of those intrusive thoughts, and all of those harsh self-criticisms,...

There are some traumatic moments in everyone's life, and how one deals with it can show a lot about one's will and thought process. One of those moments is when one's personal devices are stolen. Not only being part of the legal system can have dehumanizing effects on one's psyche, the tragedy of lost memories and monetary value of the stolen property can lead to a lot of mental anguish. When one...

The world of entertainment, especially one regarding motion pictures, is moving ever so slowly towards a darker and darker path. "KAOS," the comedy-drama reimagination of Greek mythology, was the latest in the long line of projects that has gotten the axe due to this shift. With more and more avenues of entering the world of movies closing by the day, it's hard to not look at it as an end of an er...

Sometimes one sits down at one's work station, with a laundry list of tasks to do, and then one doesn't do any of them. One will sit down and stare blankly at anything, wasting the time away, losing motivation bit by bit, and then wonders where the time has gone. When one has habited oneself in a bad cycle of procrastination and then minimal work, that lifestyle will clash instantly with any amoun...

In this episode, we're going back to online recordings as I sit down and talk with a friend that I met online and have been talking to for almost 2 years at this point, Ava. We found each other through content creation and then started opening up more about our personal lives as we talked and talked more. We're both fans of fantasy novels, odd movies, and writing and making stuff about our...

When an era comes to an end, sometimes one can't help but feel nostalgic and retrospective towards that era. The era might not be good, or might be actually harmful, but when it comes to a close it feels better than it was. So, one looks at the bumpy ride as an experience worth having and then moves on to greener pastures, to look upon all that is to come, and to see all that will be apparent....

When one's core belief about themselves is that they are unlikable, every little action can seem to confront one with that core belief. When a person fails to connect to one's desire, or when one is faced with a cruel world, the response is always to do with one's core belief of unlikability. That belief can influence thoughts, and those thoughts can influence actions, and those action...

When one feels broken beyond repair, sometimes it's hard to understand the value of existence. Existence itself becomes painful enough that one forgets how to do it properly; but that's merely an illusion from a broken psyche. Existence is wonderful. It's hopeful, and it has so many good that one needs to remember sometimes. Sometimes one needs to look up and thank to all for just... e...

Sometimes one relies heavily on misremembered memories to gauge a timeline and a situation, and based on those misremembered memories will develop a confidence that is ultimately hollow, without one noticing it. But then reality will settle in when one check's one's old work, and the hollowness of the confidence shows itself; and at that point one will look up to the sky and yell: "F-...

Hope is such a fickle concept. Though it can bring one the vehicle to move out of a slump, it can also be the catalyst for more disappointments and even deeper despair. Hope is fickle, but it's necessary, because hopelessness brings apathy, and apathy brings stillness, and stillness is akin to death itself. When one experiences the depths of hopelessness, one never wants to return to those cir...