The Last Thoughts of a Busy Mind

Sometimes uncertainty is not the worst thing about the future, sometimes one has to deal with the things that might actually come, but they still do inspire fear. They inspire fear of the known, rather than the unknown. When one is dealing with that fear, it's good to accept it, but not let it become all that there is and there will be. It's good to check one's privileges, but also remember one's...

There are times of health and there are times of sickness, and then there are times of hidden sickness. When those times come, one has to do all sorts of undesirable things. Amongst them is the act of taking antibiotics, and dealing with the myriad of side effects that it does include. Fatigue and bodily aches aside, one has to deal with how this antibiotics exasperate the already fragile framewor...

Gamification has become more and more abundant with each passing day in the current climate of the online and offline world. More apps and more software are made every year with the goal of taking an aspect of everyday living and turning it into a quantifiable objective with a number to go along with it. And when one becomes conscious of this, it's hard to ever close one's eye on it. When it hits...

When one faces obstacles of immense pressure that one has beaten once before, sometimes the hubris of the previous encounters emboldens one's desire to repeat it. Sometimes, in the face of unnecessary hardships, one refuses to ask for help from proper providers, because one has gone through it once and has come victorious. When one is dealing with that, sometimes one wishes that the first go aroun...

When one notices that one is having more mental lapses in day-to-day life, and the crippling anxiety is getting worse and worse in dealing with anything more strenuous than laying down, one comes to a rather sound conclusion that paradoxically one is losing whatever remains of their "mind". So, what does one do? Except gather all of those intrusive thoughts, and all of those harsh self-criticisms,...

There are some traumatic moments in everyone's life, and how one deals with it can show a lot about one's will and thought process. One of those moments is when one's personal devices are stolen. Not only being part of the legal system can have dehumanizing effects on one's psyche, the tragedy of lost memories and monetary value of the stolen property can lead to a lot of mental anguish. When one...

The world of entertainment, especially one regarding motion pictures, is moving ever so slowly towards a darker and darker path. "KAOS," the comedy-drama reimagination of Greek mythology, was the latest in the long line of projects that has gotten the axe due to this shift. With more and more avenues of entering the world of movies closing by the day, it's hard to not look at it as an end of an er...

Sometimes one sits down at one's work station, with a laundry list of tasks to do, and then one doesn't do any of them. One will sit down and stare blankly at anything, wasting the time away, losing motivation bit by bit, and then wonders where the time has gone. When one has habited oneself in a bad cycle of procrastination and then minimal work, that lifestyle will clash instantly with any amoun...

In this episode, we're going back to online recordings as I sit down and talk with a friend that I met online and have been talking to for almost 2 years at this point, Ava. We found each other through content creation and then started opening up more about our personal lives as we talked and talked more. We're both fans of fantasy novels, odd movies, and writing and making stuff about our...

When an era comes to an end, sometimes one can't help but feel nostalgic and retrospective towards that era. The era might not be good, or might be actually harmful, but when it comes to a close it feels better than it was. So, one looks at the bumpy ride as an experience worth having and then moves on to greener pastures, to look upon all that is to come, and to see all that will be apparent....

When one's core belief about themselves is that they are unlikable, every little action can seem to confront one with that core belief. When a person fails to connect to one's desire, or when one is faced with a cruel world, the response is always to do with one's core belief of unlikability. That belief can influence thoughts, and those thoughts can influence actions, and those action...

When one feels broken beyond repair, sometimes it's hard to understand the value of existence. Existence itself becomes painful enough that one forgets how to do it properly; but that's merely an illusion from a broken psyche. Existence is wonderful. It's hopeful, and it has so many good that one needs to remember sometimes. Sometimes one needs to look up and thank to all for just... e...

Sometimes one relies heavily on misremembered memories to gauge a timeline and a situation, and based on those misremembered memories will develop a confidence that is ultimately hollow, without one noticing it. But then reality will settle in when one check's one's old work, and the hollowness of the confidence shows itself; and at that point one will look up to the sky and yell: "F-...

Hope is such a fickle concept. Though it can bring one the vehicle to move out of a slump, it can also be the catalyst for more disappointments and even deeper despair. Hope is fickle, but it's necessary, because hopelessness brings apathy, and apathy brings stillness, and stillness is akin to death itself. When one experiences the depths of hopelessness, one never wants to return to those cir...

The prospect of demise is harrowing, and so is the prospect of oblivion. Being forgotten is akin to a second death, and so when one is grappling with the idea of oblivion and being forgotten, the first instinct is to yell out to the heavens for all that can hear to remember. To remember is to have a degree of care, and so what happens when one is also grappling with the thoughts of carelessness? T...

When one looks through one's actions, some seem illogical, some even seem downright counterproductive. So, when one tries to work through why one does such actions, sometimes the answer is much simpler than one expects. The continued acts of keeping on to one's actions might be the answer. When one looks back at why one does certain things, the answer might be self-serving, but that might...

For anything in life, one pays a cost. Some costs are monetary, some are emotional and mental, and some are social. So when one is choosing one's path in each aspect, one is always countering and measuring what that path will cost and what that path will require. Sometimes in paying those costs, one becomes so broken that one will continue to pay without thinking. Sometimes though, great thing...

Sometimes, life will take such drastically unexpected turns that it will awaken many emotions at once. Other than annoyance at the changing landscape of one's plans, it will bring a litany of different thoughts, from nostalgia for similar moments in one's past to disappointment for similar moments in one's future. The old adage is that will no expectations will come no disappointments,...

Self is a construct made of thoughts, actions, abilities and insecurities. Each of them combine together will create the sense of self for one, and each of them are responsible for something in one's life. Insecurities have the dire task of depleting one's will to live and one's desire to act on anything. It is fantastically strong, and knows when to strike. So, when one views a video...

The desire to change one's life to better one's situation is a noticeable and worthy desire, but it can lead to heartbreak after heartbreak if one is not ready to accept some leniency. Change oftentimes can make one believe that the future is theirs to see, and when things appear less than ideal, that mindset alone will make one break. So, sometimes it's important to find solace, in un...

When one's life is in turmoil due to many inside and outside forces beyond one's imagination, one will experience lack of motivation. When the turmoil becomes too much to handle, one ceases to daydream and to hope, and so one will become still and unmoving. In those times, the best approach might be the fooling of one's self, and to move. Move by any means, even if the furthest one goe...

One's life is a series of images and actions being projected inwards and outwards, and those series of images and actions will create a cohesive sense of one's identity for one's own perception and others' perceptions. So, when one strays from that perception and the images and the actions, what is the outcome of such deviations? What happens when one is no longer fitting inside th...

When one lives through life, one experiences some memories as if they will be important later; and if one is too much into the art of movie-making or just generally a movie-geek, one will see them as cinematic moments. Cinematic moments that one needs to hold in high regard, because they will be important later... right? They will be important, right?? RIGHT??? Email me at: ContactAKhamseh88@gmail...

When one reaches the point of a soft reboot of one's journey, it's apt to look upon where the journey has started. Maybe dispel some myths and create new ones, or maybe tell the story of how the first steps were took to the last steps still taken. When one reaches that point, it's time to sit around the fire and start the telling of one's origins. Email me at: ContactAKhamseh88@gma...

In this episode, I sit down in person for the fourth time and talk to one of my friends that I've known for a full year, Ghazaleh. We met each other online and started following each other on Instagram, before meeting in person and getting to know each other better and better over the past year. We bonded over our shared love of crafting, so-bad-they-are-great movies, and correcting each other...