The Innermost Ramblings of Fiona

Y’all!! I made it to TEN EPISODES!! Let’s just celebrate that as a thing!! THIS RAMBLE I’m sitting with how often I miss genuine connection, joy that others exhibit in response to me. A friend ran at me with excitement and joy that I was at the same place as her in the flesh, tackled me to the ground and pulled me onto her lap — saying how glad she was to have me there! — and I didn’t register tha...

Following me SINGING OUT OF TUNE, a song it turns out I don’t know the words to…I follow my rambling thoughts into… - Learning to live in connection with myself I’m allowing the awareness of self denial, busyness and fear (among other things) of disconnection from self and others into my consciousness and with that realising the need to find and connectivity myself as a safe place. - I am always w...

Episode Notes — I have a backlog of recorded voice memos that I haven’t released as podcasts… But I’m jumping into what’s alive for me now. Truth seems so true while I’m living in it! There are so many themes moving through me. I could be literally anything and anyone and I might just not know it yet! Coming home to why I voice memo-ing myself has always been to speak and find my truth. The audio...

Episode Notes Im a podcaster, whaaat!? I still feel like me. I think I idolised podcasters… Really just talking though some shifts in awareness around how I relate to my body. I have more awareness about sensations that have always been there, but I didn’t have framework to hold them. So I couldn’t and don’t acknowledge they were even there. My body is my own. A new layer of awareness around what...

Episode Notes — Panic, presence, and pondering anonymity as a place of connection. I’ve become aware of how I engage in the world, at events specifically. Event fatigue— going to and engaging in so many event that don’t necessarily leave me feeling connected and full. I like knowing that someone is over there, humans over there, I feel like this is coming home to myself, finding a level of accepta...

Episode Notes This really is a flow through the thoughts and things I’m processing internally, and how I feel in my body! How I’m experiencing these shifts. Wearing dangly earrings around the house, for me, because it feels good! Huge thing for me! How, now that I don’t just dress in boy clothes like the Tom-boy I was of old, how do I be friends with male-bodied humans!? Turns out being unattracti...

Episode Notes I picked a book up from a friends kitchen table, flicked through it, and found these words! This quote, this invitation! ‘Surrender your deep heart fully to be claimed by loves earthly embodiment…’ (Listen in to hear the full quote!) And offftt, these words, oh my heart. Oh to be open in more and more moments! Soften and slow down. There is a shift happening in me. It’s scares me, an...

Episode Notes Today’s episode captures my process of speaking it out loud until I find my truth around and about connection, opening up to connection. This deep desire to feel connected and allow myself to have friendship. To let go and trust that I am safe. I realise I often have contingency plans, I don’t expect that friendship can last. I am always waiting to be asked to leave. Oh how this make...

Episode Notes I’m incredibly apprehensive about releasing this episode, hence the delay between recording it and sending it off into the world! But healing has come in so many other places of my life through removing the shame and talking about the thing, wrapping words around ans through and in and so I’m showing up for myself, admitting to myself first and foremost, acknowledging and letting it...

This is my first podcast! Eeeek! What am I doing!? I’ve fallen in love with voice memos, beginning by voice memo-ing myself so I could listen back and get to know my own truth, my own voice, and then expanding out into speaking to friends and now I’m releasing it into the world! It feels clunky and not quite polished, an experiment in trusting myself and letting go of perfectionism. Welcome, enjoy...