The Important Questions

Our four dumb asses are back in our seats for your quarterly allotment of comedy. We can't wait for you to hear June's episode. But here we are and here's what you got. Warm Up: How would you respond to a guy sending your girl a mermaid emoji? How difficult is it to sell knives? What are some good and lesser-known food combinations? Midshow Pt 1: Ranking sparkling waters Actual Midshow - RANT: Pok...

Get used to sporadic episodes! Smitty and Rico are full time dads which is a lot different of a lifestyle than what we started with back in 2016. But when we get back together there's magic and a whole lot of complaints about society. Here's what we got this episode: Intro: Do you use the 1-ply toilet paper barrier on public toilets? How would you feel gifting or receiving a pubic manicure gift? W...

The title may be misleading. This episode is VERY loosely Halloween related thanks to our listener GLINKO STINKO and his question around Halloween. Also, it's our pleasure to officially publish the location of our prior show. If you're a fan of the current show, a selection of our old show is available minus bonus episodes and the (very terrible) first 25 episodes. Enjoy several hours of content....

For episode 50 we got slice of life shit, humorous shit, and real shit. Everything you've come to love in our show all wrapped up in our halfway to 100 episode. Here's what we got this week: Intro: If you had to combine shrimp and marshmallow into a palatable dish, what would you make? What cryptid would taste the best? What is the best season? Midshow: Brilliant Ideas - Refrigerated Pockets What...

Ever wonder what your odds are of surviving various animal attacks? We got you covered using the most advanced scientific data to date to break down your odds! And we found out after the fact that bismuth is the active metal ingredient in Pepto Bismol. That's the 'Bismol' part of it. Here's what we got this week: Intro: Would we join Scott's "poop band"? What animals could we beat in a fight? When...

This episode is exclusively for mall-walkers in wind breakers getting their steps in. Everyone else, see you next time. This is what we got for you. Intro: Are there any microwavable meals that don't suck? What would be the best unorthodox bathroom decorations? How are malls still in operation? Midshow: I Saw a Guy Midshow Pt II: Dave's Letters to the Editor - Reprise of that expletive product slo...

Wake, puke, brush, chug milk, repeat. Here's episode 46's shit: Intro: How long would you have to fart one continuous fart before you call an ambulance? How can you spruce up and add value to your property or living space? Why do men get pee-shy? What else could you not do with people watching you? What traveling food trucks could replace the ice cream man? Post Theme: Smitty Smells Shitty Ask us...

If you enjoy drinking milk, learning about milk, milk talk, and all things milk - then we're happy to announce that MILK TALK IS BACK. Here's what we got this week (also Rico is back). Intro - would you get a pitcher of milk? What is the tier list of meats? What is the scariest piece of media you've consumed? Midshow: Funny or Dumb - Smitty and Dave's Wives' Breakdowns Should you get into storage...

I told you I'd upload multiple episodes. Dave always delivers. Here's what you can expect in these next 70 to 80 something minutes. Intro: How well could you pull of a microwaved steak dinner? What is soup? Would you kill E.T with a hammer? Have you seen a Cybertruck in the wild yet? How do people tolerate living in cities? What's the best combo of safety, effectiveness, and fun in weed killing? A...

I, once again, have to remind everyone: my upload schedule, our recording schedule, and et cetera et cetera is now under new management. I can do whatever I want. So I decided this week to be generous and release multiple episodes. Today's release is episode 43, so please enjoy. Intro: Why do we also pick the wrong lines? What things have you tried to get into but could not? How far would you get...

It's episode 42 for real now. Recorded back in May, yet these topics are so evergreen that no amount of 4 months can make it not topical anymore. Here's what we got for you this week. What can be done about teenagers? How have you noticed yourself becoming your parents? Midshow: They Did the Math - The Fart Limit How could moshing be marketed as exercise? Klem Stump's Voicemail about pet names Pos...

This is episode 47. I don't have to release episodes in order. I can release 55 next week and you'd just have to deal with it. So here's the 47th episode topics. 1) Intro: Happy beauthday to Beau. 2) Where is the worst place to piss your pants? 3) How effective would a product be if they just advertised using expletive slogans? 4) What is the most unorthodox high snack? 5) Post Theme: Glinko's que...

We welcome you to join our dinosaur discovery pact. To learn more, listen to the episode. All listeners should commit to our dinosaur discovery pact to better our chances of a new dinosaur discovery. Here's what we got this week. ALSO RICO IS BACK. 1) Warm Up: What would you name a new dinosaur discovery? 2) Smitty bitches about the cyber truck. 3) What's the coolest thing a shitty person did? 4)...

We're back. You know we couldn't leave you. We love you so much. And we got the following stupid topics for you this week: 1) Warm Up (From Glinko): How much money would you need to let your parents read your search history out loud? 2) Are you obligated to give gifts to people you don't know that well? 3) Funny or Dumb Midshow: Fart Chips 4) How would you utilize bathroom telepathy? 5) Smitty Pre...

By popular demand, Poo Crimes bonus episode is now free to listen to for everyone! Listen to 3 real stories of crimes based around poo. 1) The Mad Pooper 2) The Bowel Movement Bandit 3) Russian Poop Cannon

This is the part where Dave writes the questions and stuff, but I'm phoning it in really fuckin' hard. There's questions about pet names, chores, and I think being in pain. Oh but the important part, the Patreon is shutting down and we're moving to episodes every other Tuesday going forward because life is busy and it's been tough going at the rate we've been going for a long time. We love you fan...

Can you guess that I couldn't come up with another title? Dave is off this week so Scott is at the helm doing his best. I apologize in advance for any missed noises, mic stand bumps, or nonstop orgasms that may occur. Don't worry, 'ol Davey-boy called his question in, so you still get a taste of all 4 of us. Open wide, here is what we got for ya: Intro: What is the best/worst occasion to take some...

This week, we're once again tackling current events. Nothing in this world is more timely than talking through Charlie Bucket's jerk ass grandparents. Here's what we got this week. Intro: Why do crinkle cut carrots suck so bad? What do you think about regularly that has no bearing on life? Midshow: Funny or Dumb - Garfield How do you make sports more enjoyable for people who hate sports? How would...

All 4 idiots are back to give you an episode that's as decent as being naked while wearing socks. And here's what we got this week. What are some of the dumbest concepts for horror movies? Why do you feel more naked when you're wearing only socks? Midshow: They Did the Math - Poop Length How do you think you'll die? How would penis enlargement have to be presented to not appear as a scam? Would yo...

Smitty has Covid. Rico hasn't slept. Dave has half a turd in your asscheeks. And we're ready to bring you the best show you've ever heard this Tuesday. Rico calls in because he needed a nap. Here's what we got this week. Intro: Is Scott unable to please a woman? (From Glinko) Who has the weirdest nipples? Also what is the meaning of the pooniverse; the universe made of poo? Can you interpret Dave'...

This week we all tossed in some questions we were very hesitant about. Pretty much every question is just a statement followed by "what's the deal with that". So i ask you, what's the deal with that? Did we give up already or have we been phoning it in since episode 16? Here's a look at this week's topics: Intro: What are you always losing? What's the deal with "I <3 my grand-dog" bumper sticke...

This week we give you some amazing facts and talk about Shaq's penis size towards the tail end of the episode. All that to say - this is our peak. This is our bread and butter. This is stuff you would be ashamed to tell your family and friends that you listen to - which is why word of mouth has gotten us nowhere. Here's what we got this week: Intro: Would you engage in sensual sexual relations wit...

Through the magic of our text/voicemail line and Twitter, some listeners have inspired us to ask and answer questions that are entirely your own. For today's very special episode, we take those questions and address them with our brilliant, huge brains. Orgasm, sneezing, q-tipping an ear, scratching an itch, and farting. Which two would be the best to occur at the same time? What are some of the w...

How's that title for a title? Never thought I could cram so much into a title. But in spite of the title, the episode isn't just about Smitty dragging us into another dystopian scenario as he lashes himself later on in the episode for it. But rather we return to 2024 in perfect form with talk of farts, fluids, and eating delicious frogs with honey mustard. Here's what we got this week. Intro: What...

Sorry for taking last week off. If it's any consolation, get used to it because we're on break after this week for the holidays. We're coming back 1/9/2024 - so try to survive best you can until then. Here's what we got this week. What got you made fun of the hardest in school? What are some small optimizations you make in life? Midshow: Rico's Letters to the Editor + Rant - National Anthem What i...