The Horror of Nachos and Hamantaschen

With the success of 1992’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula, the doors of classic monster hell were thrown wide and fearful beasts slouched out towards cinemas. And boy oh boy, was 1994’s Kenneth Branagh’s “Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein”, sure one of those. We don’t want to hear it if we accidentally refer to Frankenstein’s Creature as Frankenstein either, we all know what we mean here so don’t be an asshole.

Are you a 50 year old man with a t-shirt stating, “Wolfman’s Got Nards”? Hey 50 year old guy, did you know that’s actually a quote from the 1987 Fred Dekker film “Monster Squad”? Wait, you didn’t? So you just decided it would be a good idea to wear a shirt out in public referencing the reproductive parts of a Werewolf for all the world to see? Well buddy, have I got a podcast for you! It’s this on...

Firstly, we’re doing some Fred Dekker films, so ya gotta start with 1986’s “Night of the Creeps”. More pressing however, JR would like you to know that he does know other Tom Atkins films, like “Maniac Cop”, and “Creepshow”, and “The Fog”, and “Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo”. You haven’t even listened to the episode yet and he’s already told me to warn you that he’s not a guy who forgets Tom Atkins...

What’s better than reviewing one movie? REVIEWING THREE MOVIES. The Last Video Store (2023) (Not to be confused with The Last Picture Show) Bodycam (2025) Hokum (2026) Let no one say that we aren’t reviewing three movies this week.

Man, 2025’s “Beast of War” is an odd one. Is it a Australian WWII movie? Sure. Is it a killer shark movie? Definitely. But is it more a shrieking banshee shark picking off soldiers in a liminal hellscape that also features samurai swords? That’s certainly the closest.

The gentlemen are back to sweep you off your feet with a tale of mystery, sensuality, and of course romance, with Stanley Kubrick’s penultimate 1999 film “Eyes Wide Shut”. Give in to aural pleasure and listen, but don’t forget your mask, or the password to the house. And of course pay no attention to those two men in the toy store…

NOT DEAD YET. And in the meantime while we work on our various thingies, please enjoy a discussion of the following; The Night of the Eagle (1962), All you Need is Death (2023), Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988), Heart Eyes (2025), Primate (2025), The Genocides (1965), and 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (2026). BACK SOON.

The year ends. The boys ramble under the influence of eggnog. They briefly touch on 2023’s “Brooklyn 45”, which is roughly 45.45% as funny as “Brooklyn 99”. Gonna be honest with you, if you’re looking for hard facts, not a lot of that here. If you’re looking for para-social relationships though, well, that’s most of this episode. HAPPY NEW YEAR.

30 days of night? More like 30 days of BITE, AMIRITE??? This high concept 2007 vampire film was based on the equally high concept 2003 comic series, which was in turn was based on an earlier unproduced high concept movie script. That’s Hollywood baby! Also, to clear things up, JR was thinking of WHITNEY Huston and Derek was thinking of ANGELA Basset. Thank you for coming to our TED Talk.

Thanksgiving is past. Christmas is future. Alien: Earth, Day of the Beast, Predator: Badlands, Dog Soldiers, Arcadian, Flux Gourmet, Keeper, “Where are you going, where have you been”, The Running Man. Roundups are always.

When we say not every horror movie deserves to be talked about for a whole episode, we really mean MOST horror movies don’t deserve a full episode. Some, like V/H/S/Halloween, HIM, Longlegs, Frankenstein, Night of the Reaper, The Long Walk, IT: Welcome to Derry, and Habit, deserve about 7.6 minutes a piece. And that’s a roundup episode for you.

If you’ve come here for thoughts on the 2022 Andy Mitton film ‘The Harbinger’, you are in luck. If you’ve come to hear two guys in their 40’s who never actually looked at the word “Harbinger” and think it’s ok to pronounce it as “HarBRINGer” or “HarBINger” rather than “HarBUNger”, you are also in luck. If you’ve come because you accidentally watched the 2022 Will Klipstine film “The Harbinger”, we...

When you’re banging through usually pretty meh movie after movie for a podcast, coming across a 77 minute film is a welcome respite. Even better is when that 77 minute film is actually a good movie, like 2018’s ‘The Witch in the Window’, the film that JR has been praising for the past 300+ episodes. Give it a watch, give us a listen, because, as we all know, there’s no quittin’ on Mitton.

Did you know the furthest you can be from a road in New Hampshire is 4.4 miles? Nobody tell that to the cosmic entity in 2010’s ‘YellowBrickRoad’, the first in our series of Andy Mitton related films. That’s right, the thing JR has been talking about for the past 9 years is finally happening, because, as we all know, there’s no quittin’ on Mitton.

You can shout in three different ways: by letting it all out, by kicking your heels up, or by watching 1978’s ‘The Shout’. We’ve been hearing about this one for years, but like so many movies these days it’s a real pain in the ass to find a decent copy, so we settled for a pretty meh quality stream. The lack of movie availability in this foul year of our lord 2025 makes me so mad that I want to… c...

Finally, a movie about how great the Post Office USED to be! Have you ever gone to the Post Office and found that there is only one person working, and there are 38 people in line in front of you, and all of them have a dozen random packages that need a variety of tapes and weights and forms that are inevitably wrong? 2024’s ‘Dead Mail’ is better than that, but how much better will vary on your lo...

MORE MOVIES WATCHED AFTER BEING DRAWN AT RANDOM! DANGEROUS ANIMALS! DARK HARVEST! THE RULE OF JENNY PENN! LOVELY DARK AND DEEP! MONSTER ISLAND! MAYBE A SECRET MYSTERY FILM! RETROSPECTION ON PREVIOUSLY WATCH MOVIES! EGREGIOUS USE OF CAPS LOCK!

The boys are live from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, and surprise surprise, instead of having meaningful conversation to grow their friendship, all they do is watch more movies. They watch Tumbbad (2018), History of the Occult (2020), Weapons (2025), Equinox (1970), and Chompy & the Girls (2021). This is peak male friendship in 2025.

Rambutan is a medium-sized tropical tree in the family Sapindaceae, and also refers to the edible fruit produced by this tree. A native to Southeast Asia, it is closely related to several other edible tropical fruits, including the lychee, longan, pulasan, and quenepa. Also, maybe an alien will shove one down your throat to possess or make an evil copy of you? That, plus a lonely lady, is 2023’s “...

Director Lucky McKee’s best film (to anyone with taste) is obviously 2011’s “The Woman”, but nine years before that he directed a movie about another woman. Yessir, May’s her name (as well as the name of the film) and watching creepy dolls and making friends from human body parts is her game. If you want Zooey Deschanel’s character in “New Girl” to be less whimsical and more of an addled creep, th...

Wipe that grin off your face, part 2 of Ray Russell’s “Sardonicus” is here, and it’s taking a turn for the grim. A turn, if you will, like a smile dropping into a frown. We promise it’s better than the mouth prosthetics in the 1961 “Sardonicus” film at least, even if it does lack the “punishment pole” gimmick. William Castle was nuts y’all.

Long before Parker Finn made creepy smiling a thing, there was Ray Russell’s 1961 story ‘Sardonicus’. You may have seen images of a dude with a really bad prosthetic mouth from the film adaptation ‘Mr. Sardonicus’, but the story does a much better version of this because you only see images from reading IN YOUR MIND. Also, “Mr.” Sardonicus was my father, please call me Marek.

2011’s “Fright Night” is, of course, a remake of the 1964 classic Spanish film “Noche de Miedo” starring Carlos Larrañaga, Rafael Guerrero, and Aurora Bautista. Not only that, it’s one of the rare remake exceptions where a good movie is remade into a movie that is equally good. Is that even legal? Oh damn, are we going to get disappeared to a foreign prison now? Never forget us listeners….

We all know the GOOD horror movie remakes; The Thing, The Fly, The Blob, etc, but what about the remakes that are a little more underappreciated? Everyone now is foolishly remaking good movies into meh/garbage films, but what about taking a solidly meh movie to begin with and giving it a loving touchup? Wes Craven’s 1977 ‘The Hills Have Eyes” is a bland version of the Sawney Bean legend, but what...

When watching ‘Candyman’, have you ever thought, “You know, this ain’t bad, but mon dieu, not French enough for my liking!” The 2020 film ‘Kandisha’ doesn’t exactly have you covered, but it doesn’t exactly not have you covered either. Rib cage full of bees, legs of a goat or camel, same difference when it comes to supernatural entities you summon by saying their name multiple times in a mirror. Do...