The Horny Housewife

Taste the rainbow. Literally try them all. Jordyn here this week going over where she's at mentally whilst her husband is away on a fishing trip. The main focus of this episode is to shallow-ly and intentionally go over all the aesthetics of the male member. Long dicks, small dicks, curved dicks, hairy dicks. Pick a flavor any flavor. Im here giving you the real scoop, and of course my honest to g...

Female Friendships, Women Empowerment, Your friendly fake as f*ck neighborhood b*tches. Lets mention it allllllllll. Im back this week, just me the devil on my shoulder, and the positive little heart felt angel b*tch on the other side, covering what it means to be a woman in society today trying to find some mother freaking friends. I wont lie, I was a little shit talking beezy in this MOODY MONDA...

LETS TALK ABOUT SEX. Erectile Dysfunction (ED) and Premature Ejaculation (PE) are SO common in men, and we need to talk about it! Jordyn is back at it solo-episoding diving into the uncomfy topic of how we (men and women) feel about it and what it does to our egos/self-esteem. What really goes through a woman head when he can't perform, even if its health related, post surgery, or high stress from...

A love story. Jordyn is here with a special guest and friend Lauren; who is DEEP DIVING into her own personal story of a love affair gone good. Not right away of course hehe. We are peeling back the layers (ahem there is a lot) and leaving judgment at the door. (or go ahead judge away =p I know I did) Lauren gets vulnerable and shares her trials of marriage & infidelity (from both sides) which let...

This week Jordyn is going through some Do's and Do-f#cking-nots in marriage according to....her. From stroking an ego, farting in front of your spouse ( WE ADDRESS A PASS GAS LIE BEING SPREAD ) anal tradegies, to being bipolar with intention, we cover it all; bottom line you get what you give! Giving insight in to her own marriage currently being trapped in the same home 247 Jordyn is here to be r...

Jordyn is back and sharing her thirsty attempt to shamelessly self promo on the next door app (actually tried craigslist too but that failed as well, damn moderators). She suspects a Karen neighbor which sounds probable, and a little shit talking down goes down in regards to "neighbor Karen", who needs to get laid clearly. Jordy is sharing her first failed attempt at a threesome (there were no fai...

Jordyn is in session with the first (of many) MOODY MONDAYZ. Taking a mini dive into pop culture, the Khloe Kardashian photo scandal (we think she's gorgeous in them all) FILTER LYFEEEE, and most importantly talking shit about the girls who #nofilter and are lying little beezys; segway our way into the era of facetune and calling out the girls that claim its "rEalLy ThEm". Jordyn isn't holding bac...

Hi all Im back solo-episoding bringing you the latest views on toxic dating red flags. A mini follow up of "roasting a fuck boy" was in order due to the reach out of a "mini John Tucker must die club." I felt for these women, I had felt the pain these women had of being sucked in over and over only to be crushed..over and over. If its all rainbows and orgasms with him when you are with him, only t...

Hi y'all, Im here this time with a GUEST, the Virgin Mary, not THE, but def a previous virgin who chose one dick 19 years ago and we are SHOOKETH. I made her come tell her shit bc she isn't the norm, she's doing SOMETHING right bc the vibe check is a PASS for this couple. We are talking what a 19 year marriage consists of, tips on communication, the evolution of a long term relationship sex wise,...

Hi yall! Im back and this time were talking about the difference (from a woman/wifes perspective) of only fans vs porn. Is there a definite line or is it too grey? Is only fans the virtual reality of porn where its too close to home (maybe literally)? Engaging with who you are beating off too (and paying $$), vs the novelty of watching (Free) porn. What's too much, is it really harmful? What is co...

Hey horny b's. Were going over the triple A's this week and they are guarantee to get you laid. I start the episode briefly answering a listener question on what to do while riding your partner, and then go straight into real talk of what is killing the vibe in your relationship. The four horsemen of cockblocking (projecting, kids, resentment, and stress) are REALLLLL and we all know getting laid...

I asked the men indeed did answer!! From your keyboard out my mouth I tell the ladies what you men said was the HOTTEST to do in the sac, and then what was....on the contrary. Ball grabbing was the most controversial one listed that we didn't deep dive into, but Ill let you just ask your man yourself how he likes his balls treated. Maybe we will actually have a whole balls episode. (we will).........

HIIIIIIIII this horny housewife missed y'all!!!! I have tea to spill, bridges to burn and bitches to stand up for!!! This week, she (me) is savage mode ripping a fuck boy a new one? Okay honestly I went light on the guy, I just had to tell you why my episodes late, why its not what you expected and I HAVE GOOD REASON! JUSTICE FOR MONICA!--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to...

OH BOY! Please be kind in your judgments, because this week I have TWO story times for you where I gotta get RAW AND REAL. One is about an man who wants a toolbox up his ass, and another is me being a cringe gotta go girlfriend. Im talking all things emasculating. Society says be a baddie, but where is the line? Why do we need to stroke guys egos..and how? I got you girl. If you are thinking why t...

This week I'm talking about invading your man, (or womans) privacy. Its 2020 and we can't deny what the times have brought to the table, and behind the scenes. What should the terms be when married; whats going too far? Whats "crazy". How to decipher between realistic reasons to pry, or to shut the hell up and have sex with him instead. (thats more fun most of the time).  For those who are IN NEED...

Your men are asking questions that they are too scared to ask you gf, and I'm hear to tell them the truth. From rim jobs, to your PH balance, and the ever common story of a horny husband wanting his uninterested wife. These men truly want to know. Im here to give an answer! THANKS to all the guys that sent DM's asking questions! 

 A little update from me about my v-day EPIC FAIL. This episode I reminisce on my ex's and one in particular who made me the Jordy I am today. Thank you Shmevin. Okay well they all led me here, but this one really taught me the tricks of the trade & how to embrace MY INNER FUCK GIRL. Also I FORGOT to mention in this episode; I totes caught him spanking the monkey with gradual self tanner lotion an...

It's almost Valentines Day horn dogs, and Im bringing you an EXTRA episode this week letting you know what the hell to DO, men I'm telling you what to get your b*tch and how to not f*ck it up. Ladies I'm telling you how to not being a boring ass beezy. Lets zest this holiday up, and if you are running out of time I have a back up plan. (march 14th is steak and BJ day we have redemption) --

O is for Orgasm duh. Briefly talking about why we need to get off, and heavily talking about how we get off. From solo action, to anal orgasms; I cover the spectrum. Going over "ten facts about orgasms", breaking stigmas of who has the higher sex drive, and acknowledging that we DEF do not get off everytime (to the gentlemen its not your fault; I promise we still love it.)---

not one embarrassing prom story but TWO. ones is much more worse than the other, and no one got laid. So all in all V SAD. ---

Todays episode is for the ladies; we talk about the sexual cycle of avoidance, and the ways to change perspective. At the 14:40 a sexy rampage begins reminding you of the bitch you ARE, and/or ARE GOING TO BE! I promise you, you feel like the goddess you are after this one=) 

Tap into your nasty self, and lets talk BJ tips tricks positions. Oh and theres a variety "finish" him off methods I share. Drain the toxic juice from your man and be a good girl=). XOXO--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-horny-housewife/support

oh to be young and dumb. One girls(me)journey to learning girl code; A little privileged baby (me) finds her way into some trouble bc she hasn't learned how to save her lust for the single boys. The musicians really got to her.(me) I might of forgot to say the ending, he ended a looo-sirrrrrr so I guess I won? --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://an...

HEY YALL I'm covering the basics of sexting 101 (examples are provided at the end ;) )We talk "Talking dirty" statistics, some self pleasure for your man to eye & last but not least, how to talk like a nasty badass bitch, aka a very good wife indeed. SPICE IT UP BABY.--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anc...

For the first time in the history of ever my therapist is ghosting me vs me ghosting them?! What is this sorcery?! This episode is a Story time about how my current therapist is now my ex therapist. A look into my new journey microdosing mushrooms; why covid sex is snooze and why you should mix it up! Also you'll find out the longest Iv ever gone without sex EVER. --- Support this podcast: https:/...