The High Cost of Anonymity Podcast: Exploring the Cost of Keeping Your Life Experience to Yourself

Michael "Sweets" Wilson has a story similar to many. They start using drugs at an early age, their arrests get more and more serious causing them to bounce back-and-forth from prison to society and back. Michael was no exception, he started to believe that maybe he was an animal, meant to be locked up in a cage. Then, something happened. Maybe it was fate, the thought of his children growing up wi...

Is it God’s will or my will? Am I being driven by my higher power, or is it just my self-centered thinking? These are ultimately the questions we are taught to ask in recovery and in many spiritual circles. Even those that don’t believe in a higher power, ask similar questions like, what is the right thing to do in this moment? Or, is this decision selfless or selfish? All are attempts to get out...

How often do you find yourself defending something that doesn’t even matter? Simply, because you’re caught in the moment? I find myself there often; defending my behavior, my view, my intentions, my parenting, my food, my space and even my defects of character... All in an effort to ”not be controlled or told.” When I’m caught in the grip of my ego, fear and insecurity, I’ll defend it to the death...

I’ve been thinking a lot about the conversation I had with Adam, which I talked about on episode 65. He pointed me back to the big red book, ACA’s version of the big book. Finally it clicked. I’ve been looking for a through line to help connect a better understanding of those struggling with alcoholism, drug addiction and mental health. One of the examples I came up with were around food. Everyone...

Paul is one of my favorite peeps to talk about life, relationships, and all things recovery. We cover intricacies in life that can only come from a wide array of experience, both good and ugly. Not only do I love that he is deep in a 12 step fellowship that directly addresses narcotics, but also, that he has opinions on the outside issues I love to talking about; anonymity, medically assisted trea...

I don’t like setting New Years resolutions so this year, I set some intentions. Here’s an update. Also, I’ve backed into a major change recently. Here’s how I did it.

One of the most valuable lessons I have to learn over and over again is, life is full of contradiction. What worked at one point in my recovery doesn't work anymore. Things that never bothered me before, now bother me. Things that were not negotiable before, have been negotiated... A number of times. All these ideas, situations and opinions I would have sworn to be true are... Well... It's complic...

If you struggle with the disease of addiction or alcoholism, this shut down must be doing a number on your recovery. I think back to my early recovery and realize how heavily relied on meetings and community. Having that taken away would’ve been a major challenge. A friend of a friend overdosed this past weekend and it really puts in perspective the types of things I worry about. How important is...

One of the baddest men on the planet got arrested last week for the 3 time. Although I would agree he is making some terrible decisions, the on thing no one is talking about, at least not with any real knowledge about it, is... that man qualifies to go to the meetings I go to. Cunning, baffling, powerful and insidious... it will leave you wondering, yet again, how did I get here!? What do you thin...

During this wild shutdown, which many are experiencing for the first time, uncertainty can rule the day. I find myself swinging from one end of the spectrum to the other, either we’re all overreacting to, man this shiz is kind of serious! I’m grateful that for the first time in 20 years, I’m not working for straight commission and that my job has been deemed essential. So, I have a good chance of...

So often I sit in these team meetings with kids, their parents and whoever is trying to make a mental health or addiction recommendation and it’s as if we’re fighting an uphill battle. What happens is, the parent ends up answering all the questions for the kid and then decides what they're willing to do and not willing to do with the recommendations. The results leave the kids feeling like they ar...

Ever had someone tell you, ”I think I’m ready to lose weight” or ”I think it’s time, I’m going to cut back on my using and drinking”. Sometimes, stopping the thing you’re struggling with isn’t what you should be focusing on. I would argue, both your weight, what you're putting in your mouth and the use of mood and mind altering substances like drugs and alcohol are external issues. In other words,...

For so long I’ve been saying I want to seek, dig and change that which has been plaguing me. The funny thing is, although I say that, I’ve come face to face with the question, “is it really true?” What I mean is, I have a tendency to make changes in my life, then slowly resort back to the old behavior I say I’m fed up with. In this episode, I share a real life experience from a therapy session whe...

So often I find myself confusing the puzzle piece with the puzzle. In other words, I can get caught up focusing on the individual in front of me when it’s really the family, group or system as a whole that needs to change. And even then, its important to ”let it begin with me”. Let me be the change in my family. Let me be the change at work. Let me be the change in my community. If you want true p...

Meeting someone where they are... One of the best tools you can have when you get to help someone. When this is done right, you're able help while allowing people to have their own life experiences, both good and bad. The last thing you want to so is rob someone of an experience they need to have for themselves. For me, there are times where I fall into the habit of "telling" or ”preaching” at peo...

Have you ever wanted to do something like, start working out, quit drinking or smoking, sign up for that course you’ve been wanting to take but finding yourself not doing it? Or sometimes even more challenging, you start off strong but end up quitting after you get started? For 2020, I'm seeking to answer the question, ”what is it within me that causes me to quit or not follow through”. On this ep...

There have been so many times in my life where I thought I "knew it". I wouldn't say ”I knew it all” but I felt confident in the knowledge I used to make decisions. 2019 was one of the best years of my life and yet I still found myself face to face with the realization that "self-knowledge availed [me] nothing”. Knowledge is valuable, Knowledge is power and Knowledge is helpful... But Knowledge is...

This weekend, my wife and I were out shopping and ended up in an argument. A common theme in many of our arguments... MY TONE! Before I know it, we are no longer talking about the original situation, we are debating about the meaning behind my tone. I call this ”getting into left field”... As you can imagine, this does nothing to help my case! However, this weekend, mid-argument Sarah says somethi...

I’ve been tracking some of the thoughts I think most often and cause me the most stress... here they are. They’re going to find out, I did something wrong and I’m not going to make it. Now, these thoughts aren’t always conscious. Often, they are deep down in my subconscious, more like a feeling in the gut. I’ve known they were there for a long time but recently, I’ve become so hyper aware of them,...

Last night my wife and I had a fight over who was putting Austin to bed. We typically trade nights because bedtime can take a while. I had been on "parenting duty" for a good chunk of the weekend and I made up a grand story in my mind about how much "I" do in that department. The deeper story is, I find it challenging to ask for what I need, ie I needed a bit of a break and some time to myself......

It seems as though I've been trying to force things to happen for so long, when it's easy, I feel surprised! Many of you have been on this journey with me as I seek to "figure IT out". Unbeknownst to me, my way of trying to "figure IT out" looks a lot like forcing things to happen the way I want them to happen. Right now, something super crazy is happening. Everything seems to be falling into plac...

I recently listened to a Short Story Long Podcast where Chris Drama Pfaff interviewed Byron Katie. I was so blown away by Katie’s perspective and what she calls, “the work”, that I’ve been binge watching her interviews and audiobook... “Loving What Is”. Katie sheds light on the fact that suffering is optional. In other words, our stress, anxiety and depression is based on what we believe to be tru...

This doesn’t happen often but when it does, man it’s annoying. Saturday night is the night I stay up late and burn the midnight oil. I don’t do anything productive. I mainly watch UFC fights or play around on YouTube. Saturday night is my night to be a kid, watch whatever I want and sleep in on Sunday morning. Last night, I went to bed listening to a Garyvee podcast. I dozed off around 230am and m...

This is an example of once you've asked a customer for their business at a certain price and they decline we're say no, what do you ask them to get their budget out of them? These are a couple of soft and strategic ways to get someone's budget without flat out asking what's your budget. The problem with asking, what's your budget? Is most people end up selling down to their budget instead of selli...

Perspective: Does the average American have true perspective? • What are people saying about you behind your back? A #garyvee bold thesis