The He Wants She Wants Marriage Podcast

The real enemy of everyday married life is… everyday married life! The treadmill of routine we fall into as husband and wife slowly kills the joy in marriage, leading us to appreciate the positives less and less and fall into frustration with one another and life in general.  This psychological process is known as Hedonic Adaptation. This mechanism causes the initial surge of happiness we get from...

Do you know the impact of difficulties in communication with your children have on your marriage? Research shows that the rate of the decline in relationship satisfaction is nearly twice as steep for couples who have children than for those who don't. Why is that? Although there are many factors at play, struggling in communication with your kid, especially but not only when they are in their teen...

This SHOCKED me! Most women seem to prefer "book boyfriends" to real husbands, do you want to know why? The answer is simple... What are your standards when it comes to your relationship? Most couples have a set of standards based on what they have observed in the generation before, or on what is generally accepted, keeping the bar quite low.  Doing better than what we may have observed past gener...

Do you want to know why the fire slowly dies in most marriages?  Most couples fall into same-old-same-old routine, caught in the managing of day-to-day responsibilities that come with marriage and family. These are necessary things husband and wife need to tend to, that's true, but the risk is to lose the fire between partners, turning the marriage into what we call mild. However the couples that...

Do you want to know what is the silent killer of a marriage? It is not lack of love… What slowly kills a marriage is the never-ending list of problem that any couple has to solve each day. This 4-lane motorway of issues big and small is the cause of frustration and arguments that put a wedge between husband and wife on a daily basis. The real issues though are not even the so-called problems but t...

How is the immense amount of stuff you need to get done every day impacting your marriage? How much quality time do you and your partner actually get to spend together? Research shows that most couples spend and average of 3-5 hours together per week, and even that time is mostly taken by practicalities or filled with switching-off time in front of TV to fight exhaustion. To-do lists are part of e...

Despite how much husband and wife try to avoid conflict by improving communication, fights happen. We can repair. We can say sorry. We can tell the other what they should do better next time. None of it will truly help to make your marriage a truly exceptional one. When inevitable conflicts happen in relationship they brings more and more pain unless you do this... In this episode we share the pro...

How does the conditioning on being “the perfect wife” women have received impact your relationship? There are 3 things women are told they need to do in order to be the “perfect wife” and all 3 are lies! The impact of this conditioning that is fed to every couple through media, movies and society at large is that most wives are deeply unhappy in their marriage. They shrink to fit the box of the “p...

Do you want to know why most husbands feel trapped in their marriage? Because they’ve been lied to… There are 3 fundamental lies every husband has been told about married life and about how to be the "perfect husband". Society and conditioning through generations tell men that there are 3 things they need to do to perform well and be a “good husband”. As a result of these lies most husbands feel t...

Do you want to know why autopilot marriage happens despite your best intentions? Because in relationship good intentions are not enough. With never-ending to-do lists, work, parenting, commitments with in-laws and more on the table in everyday life’s chaos, your relationship suffers. For husband and wife it’s easy to get caught in the day-to-day routine and forget to prioritise each other. It’s no...

Do you want to know why 85% of stonewalling happens in men? Research shows that between husband and wife the husband is more likely to fall into the pattern of stonewalling. With that said, research also shows that when the wife stonewalls it’s a real red flag signalling the risk of divorce. Stonewalling often follows when there’s a pattern of contempt in communication. And although in some cases...

Do you want to know why most marriages fails?  The most common answers could be infidelity, financial issues, lack of love, having picked the wrong partner and so on. And yet most of the most common reasons for divorce are the symptoms of an underlying pattern that erodes the relationship and that is contempt. When husband and wife have left the cycle of defensiveness and criticism go on unchecked...

Do you want to know why most marriages fail to keep the flames of intimacy and connection going? Because life gets busy and most couples forget to fuel the flames, so those flames slowly die. And with them so do emotional intimacy, sexual connection and overall happiness in marriage. Spring renewal is not all about spring cleaning your house and refreshing your wardrobe. It can also be a very effe...

Do you want to know why most communications in relationship end up with a fight?  This happens when unchecked criticism and defensiveness rule interactions with your partner. What comes first? Does feeling always criticised by your partner cause you to be defensive? Or is your default defensiveness that causes your partner to up the volume of their criticism? The answer is: both.  Criticism and de...

How is criticism impacting your relationship? Has feedback become a game of who shouts the loudest in your marriage? Do you feel ignored in your relationship when you give feedback? And do you feel in turn constantly criticised when your partner speaks to you? The thing is, your partner is probably ignoring your feedback, leading you to turn up the volume and falling into criticism. And you might...

Do you want to know what will kill your relationship if you don’t act now? The 4 Horsemen of marriage Apocalypse, as described by John Gottman, when present in marriage are the greatest predictor of divorce. The trap most couples fall into is that either husband or wife (often both) feel entitled in practicing these traits during everyday communication, and do not realize the impact these actually...

Do you want to know why intimacy dies out in most longterm relationships? It is because no one taught us how to generate deeper emotional intimacy and connection. Most couples believe it should just be there. The truth is, building and maintaining emotional intimacy in marriage is a skill we need to cultivate. It doesn't just happen. In this episode we share 3 super practical steps you can start i...

Do you want to know why your date nights have been a disaster 9 times out of 10 despite your best efforts? Most husbands risk ruining date night despite coming from the best of intentions, because they are unskillful in communication. No one taught us this stuff! Here are 20 things any husband must avoid saying to his way before, during and after going on their date night. So much effort goes into...

There's a fine line between what can very much look like narcissism and what actually is. Very often what's labelled narcissism is in fact narcissistic behaviour resulting from insecure attachment patterns. This confusion leads to conflict and disconnection in relationships. Understanding the difference between narcissism and insecure attachment patterns can truly help husbands and wives have a sa...

How is hypervigilance impacting your marriage? Is your anxiety creating constant tension between you and your partner? And if you are the partner of someone experiencing hypervigilance, are you at the end of your tether trying to support them and coming up short? The truth is, most relatioships treat hypervigilance as a proble to fix, which in turn creates more disconnection and conflict. The good...

Are you experiencing conflict in your relatioship? Or is your marriage "happy" on the surface because you've learnt to keep your frustration locked inside? The secret to stop fighting with your partner is not about learning to be quiet or to be the one who shouts the loudest... It's in one easy to implement tip we want to share with you today. Key takeaways: - Why avoiding an arguments only result...

As a husband, wouldn’t you love to know what your wife truly wants? As a wife, wouldn’t you love for your husband to get it? The key to a happy marriage doesn’t have to be complicated to find. In this episode we share the #1 thing that a woman truly wants from her man, and it will surprise you. You will learn the 2 secret ingredients to make all the difference as you apply 3 simple but effective w...

When was the last time you and your partner lost track of time talking about exciting ideas you have? Do you feel your partner neglects your dreams and ideas? Do you feel unsupported by your spouse in going at your dreams? When dreams are suppressed and invalidated we create a marriage filled with resentment and regret. Partners in happy relationships fuel each other’s dreams. In this episode we s...

Giving and receiving feedback is essential in a happy marriage, but how can we do it in a healthy way? Do you feel your partner takes your feedback as criticism? Do you find it challenging to express constructive feedback to your partner without creating conflict or shut-down? Or maybe you feel you get criticised and judged every time your partner gives you feedback, like they are constantly compl...

Do you feel your marriage is filled with the constant pressure of navigating challenges without a map on how to do it?  Have you been given advice before that only added to your to-do list with no results? What if there was a clear and easy to implement way to navigate challenges in relationships?   In this episode we share three simple yet powerful agreements that have changed it all for us. With...