Curtis Cates, MD
The Hansel and Gretel Code
forget any "moral of the story," the real meaning of Hansel and Gretel lies hidden between the lines... like a real-life Da Vinci Code — Hansel and Gretel is a literary treasure map filled with secret clues meant only for people like us to suss out and follow...clues that lead to a meaningful, real-life treasure that's been lost for over 200 years...a deep dive into the dark forest of Western European History and Culture, the story explains who the real villains are, how they're still with us, and how they're not only people we've heard of or read about — some of them are people we actually kn...
Author
Curtis Cates, MD
Category
Podcast website
Latest episode
May 31, 2026
Where to listen?
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Episodes
The Bust Up Between the Emperor and the Pope, or: it’s déjà vu all over the news, again 31.05.2026 1:36:00
The emperor and the pope walk into a barber shop and make the current news cycle spin yet another fancy tale of déjà vu Part 1 [03:18] In which the Grimms use a simple case of fairytale déjà vu to revisit an old, personal grudge Part 2 [17:51] In which we get a depressing surge of will power, followed by a Grimm little bible verse — one that has nothing at all to do with Pulp Fiction, or any other...
Dostoyevsky meets Frau Holzhacker, or: Creativity’s a bitch, man 17.02.2026 1:28:50
The kids make their way back home, anachronisms abound, and cultures shift as Norman Mailer, Marshall McLuhan, and Ben Johnson kick off our wholly irreverent proceedings... Part 1 [06:35] - In which we put the hermetic seal of approval on the Light of the Silvery Moon. Part 2 [19:57] - In which we do some dream work, and get creative with pizza dough and a bowl of alphabet soup. Then, somebody tur...
Does the pope shit in the woods? or: 🎵 Are you Experienced? 🎵 21.10.2025 1:55:52
we finally get the bottom-line scoop on Gretel’s crying jags, and answer the 2 burning questions of Western Culture and Civilization over a couple of hot pastrami on ciabatas PART 1 [03:24] In which we find a deep and abiding connection between The Stooges and mysticism, and ask the burning question of Western Culture and Civilization: Is it okay to wear socks with sandals? PART 2 [21:49] In which...
The Revenge of the Grimms, or: An Episode That’s Best Served Cold 02.06.2025 59:19
In this episode we dish on the Grimm’s secret obsession with revenge, and solve the mystery of the stepmother switcheroo once and for all PART 1 [04:32] - In which we learn that the Grimms are running a blue light special on sexual reassignment surgery PART 2 [11:54] - In which we read a troubling bible story, repeat a cliché that’s anything but woke, and come across more famous last words that ar...
The Grimms Meet a Bond Villain, or Game of Dominos 10.05.2025 1:02:00
The Grimm brothers challenge Goldfinger to a high stakes game of dominos. Nobody wins but somebody orders a pineapple pizza and history starts repeating itself. Dominos fall, Richie Havens sings, and the Grimm boys show their true color(s) PART 1 [03:51] In which we quote some experts, and boldly go where none of them have gone before PART 2 [08:17] In which we start counting dominos, while the Gr...
Hans and Franz meet Fritzi-Willi, or it’s Party Time, Biatches! 15.04.2025 1:29:25
In Ep.40 the Grimms try making literary magic and pull everything but the kitchen sink out of their, um, hats. Consider it an act of Bogus Pocus. Part 1 [02:38] - In which we complain about the Grimms’ complaining, but then we cut to the chase, and name the guy who got their peppers hot in the first place... we also introduce his wife — who was known to be pretty hot stuff herself Part 2 [13...
The Eternal Wisdom of Virgil Sollozzo, or: How to Make a Killing in Real Estate. Alotta Killing. 03.03.2025 59:31
In Ep.39 the Grimms write a clunky, cranky op-ed piece and raise the ghost of Virgil Sollozzo Part 1 [11:16] - In which we find the Grimms embellishing the truth, and sneaking some personal complaints into the story… complaints that only you and I were supposed to hear Part 2 [17:58] - In which we debate the meaning of belief in turtles and end up with too many hot dogs and politics as usual Part...
All You Need Is Love, Right? 19.07.2024 49:02
In Ep. 38 we learn a new catchphrase, there's more talk about baked goods, and the Grimms pitch us a few balls and strikes Part 1 [04:49] - In which we do some clock watching, and try to guess what’s really being sold in the Vatican bakery shop Part 2 [14:44] - In which we repeat ourselves, and hear something very scary, and very new, and very scary, and very new Part 3 [24:09] - In which we disco...
The Check's in the Mail, or: Wake the F*** Up! 03.06.2024 1:14:19
In Ep.37 we smell something fishy, meet a member of the Illuminati, and discover the source of the famous imposter syndrome Part 1 [07:37] - In which we're told: the check's in the mail Part 2 [26:59] - In which we hear a dead German poet talking poetry, and a dead German philosopher talking smack... we have reason to mention the Illuminati, and a Facebook group that pre-dates Facebook. Hell...
C'mon Baby, Light My Fire 20.03.2024 1:02:23
In Ep.36 we rub some sticks together, light a campfire, and roast some heretical marshmallows Part 1 [07:07] - In which we learn why Ed Sullivan didn’t want Jim Morrison singing his full-throat version of Light my Fire on live TV Part 2 [26:44] - In which Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer shows up on New Year’s Eve and separates the party goers from the party poopers Part...
Thank Goddess it's Friday!!! 08.11.2023 50:21
In Ep.35 we let the cat out of the bag, and Hansel gets a lesson in the missionary position Part 1 [08:28] - In which we let the cat out of the bag, give her a nice old Nordic name, and before you know it, hooray, it’s Friday! Part 2 [33:27] - In which we discuss the missionary position on Easter Sunday, and discover a funky medieval connection between pewter dishes and the genius behind...
We Gotta Have More Cowbell!!! 18.09.2023 33:39
In Ep. 34 we visit Switzerland and India, and find that we all need more cowbell Part 1 [03:20] - In which we see how the head is often clueless concerning what the heart knows, and what the heart wants... and what it wants is: Swiss cheese??? Part 2 [23:43] - In which Hansel tells a little white lie… we go scouring the internet in search of the truth, and all we can find is some long-wi...
Runes and Rosaries and Rude Awakenings, or: Time to Make the Donuts 22.08.2023 29:56
In Ep. 33 we have one hell of an early wake-up call, and wish we were all back in West Virginia??? Part 1 [05:43] - In which we have cause to mention the Anabaptists, and, uh oh, it’s time to make the donuts Part 2 [22:26] - In which we have real teamwork... and, some historic subterfuge Part 3 [26:35] - In which nostalgia plays an interesting part in the action *transcripts...
The Power of Plan B 27.07.2023 24:26
In Ep. 32 Hansel takes a well deserved snooze while we contemplate the difference between Plan A and Plan B Part 1 [04:40] - In which we do some late night thinking about Plan A Part 2 [08:43] - In which we do some more thinking about Plan A, and find out what Plan B is all about Part 3 [17:59] - In which the Grimms bring up a famous little point of Reformed theology *transcripts and links for eac...
Talking Heads or Plastic Jesus & Velvet Elvis 09.07.2023 58:55
In Ep. 31 we spill the beans on Hermes Trismegistus, the Magic 8-Ball, and Hansel's Strange Uncle Albert Part 1 [03:34] - In which we spill the beans on Hermes Trismegistus and find out what kind of hat he doesn't wear Part 2 [15:51] - In which we read the most infamous passage in Antiquity, and find out what Hermes Trismegistus has to do with mowing the lawn Part 3 [27:58] - In which we discover...
Hansel and the Real Doctor Faustus 26.05.2023 52:56
In Ep. 30 we find the real Doctor Faust, John Oliver, and a Renaissance MeToo movement, all hidden within the symbolism of Hansel's Moon Rocks Part 1 [03:34] - In which we meet the real Dr. Faustus and find out he was the Julia Child of Renaissance magic Part 2 [15:51] - In which we learn about the connection between AI, the Magic 8 Ball, and a couple of little black poodles Part 3 [27:58] -...
The Great Revelation, or: Lutheran Stew on a Plate 24.03.2023 26:21
In Ep. 29 we get hold of a super-early draft of Life of Brian, a former pimp and gangbanger regales us with his exploits, and we order pizza but end up with a messy plate of stew, instead. Part 1 [08:04] - In which the all time greatest game of Simon Says gets its due Recognitions. Part 2 [14:40] - In which we hear about the origins of Pizzagate from 1700 years ago, and end up with a messy p...
The world’s longest game of telephone, or: gospel gossip 12.03.2023 33:50
In Ep. 28 we get an apology from a Vatican PR specialist, we meet the guy who invented Simon Says, and we do some “Fair and Balanced” reporting on what’s gospel and what’s not. Part 1 [05:03] - In which we listen in on a game of Vatican telephone, hear about the earliest Marvel comic book ever written, and pick up some titillating bit of gospel, er, I mean gossip Part 2 [12:24] -&n...
That's a Bozo No-No or: Welcome to Camp Simon 25.02.2023 35:13
In episode 27 we go on a magical mystery tour through the dark tunnel of Theurgy, looking for the real Simon Magus Part 1 [09:05] - In which we finally meet the Cumean Sibyl and learn about her travel agency business Part 2 [20:49] - In which we get to choose a summer camp, the Vatican, um, "opens the books," and we get to play a game of telephone *transcripts and links for each epi...
Hansel and Gretel meet Rocky and Bullwinkle or: The Emerald Tablet goes Flying 19.10.2022 52:53
In E. 26 we stick our noses deeper into the magical darkness of Hermeticism, get deeper insight into the Emerald Tablet, and find a new connection between Hansel's Moon rocks and Hermes Trismegistus: in Sweden Part 1 [11:15] - In which we fall asleep while reading the Emerald Tablet, and find ourselves dreaming about some furry cousin of Rocky the Flying Squirrel Part 2 [21:23] - In whic...
Hello, Numen! 08.09.2022 42:46
In E. 25 we hit a fairytale fashion show, get a new urge to go chasing rabbits, and then we say hello to the numen Part 1 [02:11] - In which we watch Hansel trying to make enough coin to keep everyone’s shit together Part 2 [16:24] - In which we hit a fashion show of fairytale couture and end up giving three cheers for the designer Part 3 [22:24] - In which we discover one helluva a...
Apples and Oranges and Oreos 21.08.2022 56:38
In episode 24 we take a whole lotta measurements, mix apples and oranges and oreos, and eventually have to flip a coin Part 1 [01:58] - In which we flip a coin and come up with a new definition for AI Part 2 [25:49] - In which we dabble a bit in astrology and alchemy, and end up tossing our moon rocks into a pond Part 3 [32:41] - In which we say a few prayers,...
He's on a Mission From God 06.08.2022 39:56
In episode 23 we bring back some moon rocks and get a lesson in Alchemy 101 Part 1 [05:01] - In which we turn on the projector and watch some home movies of a moon landing, and then we find out that our intuition is on a mission: to Chicago Part 2 [23:13] - In which we get a lesson in Alchemy 101, and…um…phew…! *transcripts and links for each episode are available at: betweent...
A Grimms Grimoire 23.07.2022 30:06
In E.022 we have a Medieval Mr. Rogers Moment as Hansel gets himself ready to make some real magic Part 1 [06:59] - In which we watch the little brother escape all conscious control; we send Penn and Teller up the tree, and then we get ready for some real magic when the Grimms hand us a Grimoire Part 2 [20:08] - In which the Grimms give us a Medieval Mr. Rogers moment, and then invite us to a...
I got a funny feeling about this 30.06.2022 49:27
In E. 021 we find out that the left hand knows exactly what the right hand is up to Part 1 [07:20]: In which we hear about the Yin and Yang of Hansel and Gretel, and spend a few sleepless nights trying to figure out what GRACE has to do with insomnia Part 2 [20:23]: In which we find out that the Grimms put out a contract on the first Frau Holzhacker Part 3 [32:32]: In which we turn on...
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