The Greatest Movie Ever Made

This week, David and Justus dive first into John Wick’s world of assassins, intrigue, and like, so much kung fu. By random chance, they have landed on the series’ third installment, a film rife with memorable villains, brutal knife fights, attack dogs, motorcycles, and horses kicking dudes in the face. Is Keanu Reeves’ third outing as the world’s greatest wife guy/assassin the Greatest Movie Ever...

This week, the boys discuss Wes Anderson’s classic family black comedy, full of offbeat humor, rich detail, and fundamentally flawed characters trying to figure out their depressing lives. That sounds fun? How do they react to this surprisingly sad movie and could it possibly be the Greatest Movie Ever Made? The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) is directed by Wes Anderson and stars Gene Hackman, Anjelica H...

This week, David and Justus light the fuse and talk about the beginning to the Mission: Impossible film franchise. It’s a white knuckle thrill ride filled with Jon Voight jump scares, bad 90’s movie hacking, Ving Rhames being awesome, and Xenu’s favorite son kicking off his larger than life action star persona. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to tune in to this explosive episode o...

The boys try to cheat death’s design this week and discuss the fifth installment of this CGI blood filled horror franchise. In other news, David announces a new career change that will undoubtedly change the course of the podcast. But can the Final Destination series change course, cheat death, and possibly deliver The Greatest Movie Ever Made? Final Destination 5 (2011) is directed by Steven Qual...

This week, the boys return to the wild and wacky world of Cannon Films to cover what might be the Citizen Kane of the Golan and Globus oeuvre. Journey to the exotic and ancient land of Phoenix, Arizona for a supernatural martial arts aerobics adventure, where V8 juice is an aphrodisiac, golf courses become violent battlegrounds, and so many dudes fall off motorcycles. Only a ninja can destroy a ni...

This week, Justus and David hit one more rep, flex their muscles, and cum day and night as they discuss this classic bodybuilding documentary, starring the one and only Arnold Schwarzenegger. This former Mr. Olympia might be a champion on the bodybuilding stage, but does he have what it takes to win the prestigious honor of The Greatest Movie Ever Made? Pumping Iron (1977) is directed by George Bu...

TGMEM has an ultra beefy episode about the ultra beefy guns and biceps of James Cameron’s ultra beefy sequel that boldly asks “what if there were more than one alien this time?” Does Big Jim successfully follow up Ridley Scott’s original, or is it game over, man, game over? It’s another Alien day on The Greatest Movie Ever Made and this time, it’s war! Aliens (1986) is directed by James Cameron an...

Praise the Lord! TGMEM is covering yet another adaptation of the book of Exodus, but this one has absolutely zero musical sing-alongs and definitely has an extrabiblical romance that takes up too much of the run time! But then again, it also has Yul Brynner’s huge biceps and a hell of a Charlton Heston fake beard, so hopefully those make this movie’s four hour journey worth it. What’s the 11th com...

Things get spooky and witchy this week. The boys turn to High Priestess Pod for a movie suggestion and she conjures up a groovy and offbeat low budget 60’s horror throwback that’s full of floppy dicks, slimy misogynists, and jars full o’ piss! Get ready to fall under the spell of The Greatest Movie Ever Made! The Love Witch (2016) is directed by Anna Biller and stars Samantha Robinson, Gian Keys,...

G’day! This week, Justus and David hop on kangaroos and ride to the lawless outback of the land down under, where the only thing stinkier than the sweaty outlaws and more rotten than their yellow teeth is colonial racism. The Proposition is a unique take on the western that’s sure to be a bad time, but maybe this bad time movie could be The Greatest Movie Ever Made! The Proposition (2005) is direc...

This week, our two drinkers of sacred beers discuss Yorgos Lanthimos’ absurdist/horror/thriller/black comedy/family drama/fable/Greek tragedy thing steeped in rancid vibes, Barry Keoghan being a weird freak, and Colin Farrell looking despondent. Don’t worry, they didn’t forget to talk about the spaghetti scene, they just almost forgot to talk about it because they’re idiots. This and other quality...

Ruh-roh! The notorious Hannah Detwiler kicks down the doors of TGMEM studios this week. Fueled by ADHD and alcohol, she and the boys attempt to talk about the second live action Scooby-Doo 2. Were they successful? I’m gonna be honest, not really, but you’ll want to tune in to hear all the laughs and antics anyway. And they would have gotten away with it too, if not for those meddling kids and that...

Justus does a lot of Muppet voices and talks about banging Miss Piggy in this one. David questions if Muppets are experiencing racial discrimination as a result of a human/Muppet civil war. Look, things get weird every time TGMEM talks about the Muppets, but that’s why you love those boys, right? Tune in for more wacky Muppet mayhem on the Greatest Movie Ever Made! The Great Muppet Caper (1981) is...

It is happening again. Justus and David once again find themselves lost in another surrealist labyrinth courtesy of one David Keith Lynch, and this time it’s his final full length feature, the epic and abstract Inland Empire. It’s a bizarre mystery of pet monkeys, rabbit sitcoms, dark hallways, and scuzzy Polish guys. This week, experience the story of a podcast in trouble as the boys discuss if I...

The fourth and final competitor in Jackson Off comes out swinging this week, with the Carl Weathers action vehicle Action Jackson. It’s a film loaded with biceps, 80s character actors, and stuntmen getting thrown through glass. But does Action Jackson have enough juice to face off against the other Jacksons from Jackson Off? We’re closing out Jackson Off with a bang and ranking the Jacksons on The...

Jackson Off enters its third week and a true titan of Jacksons enters the fray. Yes, dear friends, the boys are discussing a Jackson by the name of Samuel L. and his performance in Quentin Tarantino’s third film, Jackie Brown. Join David, Justus, Pam Grier, Robert Forster, Robert DeNiro being a crusty weirdo, Michael Keaton, and more to find out if Jackie Brown is The Greatest Movie Ever Made! Jac...

The great Jackson Off continues! This week, our Jackson up for judgment is Jackson Maine, Bradley Cooper’s boozehound blues singer character from the 2018 A Star Is Born remake. Can this gravel-voiced deadbeat woo Lady Gaga and climb his way to the top of the Jackson Off bracket? Find out on The Greatest Movie Ever Made! A Star Is Born (2018) is directed by Bradley Cooper and stars Lady Gaga, Brad...

We’re Jackson Off and aping out this week with Peter Jackson and his 2005 remake of King Kong. Swing through the vines of Skull Island with Kong and the gang and find out if Peter Jackson is Hollywood’s best Jackson. The first challenger enters the arena as the Jackson Off begins on The Greatest Movie Ever Made! King Kong (2005) is directed by Peter Jackson and stars Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Adrie...

Nunchucks, ninja stars, and roundhouse kicks are flying this week as David introduces Justus to  yet another obscure no-budget, DIY action flick. This time around, it’s the crust punk nightmare odyssey of Jim Van Bebber’s Deadbeat At Dawn. Join us on the mean streets of Dayton and find out if this grindhouse splatterfest is the Greatest Movie Ever Made. Deadbeat At Dawn (1988) is directed by Jim V...

This week the boys take to the skies accompanied by David’s brother Matthew and a pig man who can fly biplanes! TGMEM tackles their first Studio Ghibli film from the creative mind of Hayao Miyazaki, Porco Rosso. Don’t worry, they do discuss the pig’s penis and debate if they would eat him. Soar through the clouds of the Adriatic and find out if Porco Rosso is The Greatest Movie Ever Made! Porco Ro...

It’s January 17, 2025, and if youuuuuu can believe it, it’s time for TGMEM to talk about their favorite movies of the year once again! It was a year of Longlegs, whole concerts that were traps, Lisan al Gaibs, and Octobosses, and your favorite drunken idiots are here to break down all the cinematic highs and lows of 2024. It’s Episode SIXTY NINE baby, so get cozy, crack open a beer (because we kno...

Christmas may have just come and gone, but TGMEM is keeping things cold and snowy as they venture to the harsh Scandinavian wilderness to talk about The Northman! It’s a film with a lot of yelling, a lot of blood and guts, and a lot of butts! Justus busts out a Bjork impression and David tries to get through the episode without dying via coughing fit (spoiler alert, it did not work). Close out the...

It’s the final TGMEM episode before Christmas, so of course the boys are rounding things out with another holiday classic. This year it’s the film with the most family friendly depiction of suicidal depression ever, starring America’s golden boy and possible pegging enthusiast Jimmy Stewart. Merry Christmas and a hearty “HEEHAW” from us at The Greatest Movie Ever Made! It’s A Wonderful Life (1946)...

Gather the family ‘round for this holiday double feature episode, covering the first two installments of the Silent Night, Deadly Night Christmas horror franchise. David and Justus tell the tale of two killer Santas, two Christmas Eve killing sprees, and two notoriously controversial holiday horror films. Merry Garbage Day to one and all on this special episode of The Greatest Movie Ever Made! Sil...

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, both around the TGMEM offices and around the seedy New York dreamscape of Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut! This week, David and Justus explore the deceit, lust, and clandestine orgy clubs of this heartwarming holiday classic. Do you know the second password? It’s “The Greatest Movie Ever Made!” Eyes Wide Shut (1999) is directed by Stanley Kubrick and s...