The Great Mistake, by Garbage Brain University

Natalie & Drew pick apart the very nature of time itself, exploring: * What happens if time collapses on itself * Why the Gregorian Calendar is named after Greg * Why school takes a long time * Our new, revolutionary calendar system, mentioned in the title of this episode * What happened when the French tried to put 100 seconds in a minute * How do you even measure time if it’s not real? And hundr...

In this, our 100th GBU episode, Natalie and Drew reveal the million-dollar bread idea that they’ve been saving for a special occasion. We also talked about keto, the origins of “the best thing since sliced bread,” why you can’t feed bread to ducks, and why fish are Pay Pigs. We also talked about leavening, poisonous plants, and the specific reasons we want to be directly nuked. If you’re not a Pat...

Natalie & Drew dive into the bizarre world of the opossum, familiarly known as “possum,” with an assortment of surprising facts. Some of the facts are about their nipples! Some of them are just about gleeking and foaming at the mouth. We also talked about accidentally eating poison hemlock, why rappers puke, how many baby possums can fit in a soup spoon, and, tragically, The Cloacal Kiss. Patrons...

Natalie & Drew dig into the deeply weird history and existence of the Amish, a fundamentalist religious group who mostly lives in Ohio and Pennsylvania. We talked Amish birth control, why the Amish have no moustaches, smoking big doinks, Amish clothing, Rumspringa, the 1998 Hyundai Elantra, “and more.” You’ll also find out what happens when you get kicked out of Amish, and the Illuminati secret be...

It’s cold. It’s on the bottom. We call it Antarctica. Today, Natalie & Drew explore the facts and legends of the world’s least-populated and fifth-largest continent. There’s an extended quiz you can play along with while you listen, and Natalie asks the eternal question: when you’re in Antarctica, are you upside down, like a bitch? Help us keep this ship sailing with a membership to our Patreon -...

Today marks ONE YEAR of Garbage Brain University! Ninety-two episodes later, we’ve revealed thousands of facts, and millions of dollars’ worth of ideas. Today’s episode is about how to make ape feet out of people feet, why shoes fuck your feet up, why feet are ticklish, why you can’t tell us what you’re masturbating about, and more. Want to help us make the next year’s worth of Garbage Brain? Subs...

Our most contentious episode yet. We uncovered the facts about why avocados are just shitty butter, explained why strawberries aren’t berries, listed Steve’s Pet Peeves, visited a dairy farm, and attacked the non-eternal question of whether or not fruit is a dessert. Plus: goat breeds of Pakistan, the Pope’s favorite fruit, how to eat roses, and Spite Lunches Of Japan. Want to tell us our food opi...

In today’s Garbage Brain University, Drew & Natalie discover all of the objects people have inserted into their rectums, as well as the science (and art) of butt-chugging, boofing, and shitting out hockey pucks. There was also the return of The Gentleman’s Limit, a quiz about drugs you can put in your butt, and more than you ever wanted to know about a bird’s exit-end. Missing the odd-numbered epi...

What happens when you get diagnosed with “classic underpants rash,” an apparently real medical term? What do dust mites do all day? And why is poison ivy stronger than it’s ever been, maybe? Drew & Natalie answer all these questions, plus give you over three thousand medically consistent facts about allergies, and top the sundae off with not one, but TWO quizzes you can take while you listen. Join...

Natalie & Drew are back, once again, with the tale of the cat who broke into Natalie’s house, dozens of pet facts, secret hand tricks for cats, and a business idea that will change the way you look at dogs forever. Plus, a pet quiz you can play along with as you listen! (We recorded this a few weeks ago, before lockdown, so all mentions of leaving the house in this episode occurred in The Before T...

The future of fashion is here! Natalie & Drew talk armwarmers, the flag of the equator, spring versus fall, the bikini that makes you look dead, the t-shirts that got away, and why, even a million dollars later, The Pants Stay On, Baby. Not a part of our inner circle yet? Join our private GBU Discord via Patreon and you’ll have access to our members-only book club, Animal Crossing Friend Circle, 2...

Today, Natalie & Drew give you ideas for how to have fun during Staycation 2020, and also talk about self-surgery, an island where the government experiments on animals, their third Million Dollar Idea, and the outdoor snack you didn’t know you could make inside until today. Become our Patron for five bucks and you’ll get instant access to our Discord (we’re exchanging friend codes for Animal Cros...

Hello Ghosts is the GBU spin-off featuring Natalie and our friend Elissa , and their investigations into local paranormal lore. This is our first free episode - future eps will be available for patrons only! A fateful conversation leads Natalie and Elissa to the foothills of Appalachia to investigate a haunted home. They discover that the weirdness extends farther outside the property line than th...

Elephants are nature’s biggest vegans, and today, Natalie & Drew talk about elephant noses, how to ride a bicycle with an elephant, how long it takes an elephant to pee, why they eat 18 hours a day, and the lurid tale of how a small town murdered an elephant a hundred years ago. Want to suggest an episode? Want something to do if you’re gonna shut yourself inside for a while? Join our discord by h...

Natalie tells you why working in the library makes you want to die. Drew tells you about going to the bookmobile behind the Arby’s. Together, they plan The Floppy Cop Drop. These, along with actual facts about libraries, are packed into this hour-long episode. Haven’t subscribed yet? Head over to the GBU Patreon to listen to the dozens of subscriber-only episodes you’ve missed, as well as access t...

Natalie reveals her newest invention, a bike-seat-styled commode, and explains why she hates it so much when astronauts float around. Drew attempts to name all of the crappers that have ever existed. Together, they reveal the untold secrets of humanity’s greatest shame device before the Internet: The Toilet. Want to suggest a topic to us, or talk to fellow GBU listeners? Join our Discord by becomi...

Our friend Bryan stopped by to talk teenagers with us, in this bonus episode of GBU! Bryan is half of Street Fight Radio , an iconic anarcho-comedy show from Columbus, and like Drew and Natalie, he also used to be a teenager. We talked about why letting adults down means nothing, grinding at the school dance, and how Bryan started a mafia at his high school. There’s also a quiz you can play while...

In today's episode, we talked about why degenerate boomers are buying stale cereal on eBay, the cereal born from enemas, The Meat Of The Beef, and what Lucky Charms did to honor our nation’s antifa. We also talked horse milk, anti-cereal, and Natalie gave Drew two separate quizzes which you can play along with as you listen. Today’s episode was suggested by Quinn from our private Discord! Join up...

In today’s episode, Natalie & Drew talk about eating rocks, stealing pee from children, necrophilia, and why you have to wear socks if you want to nut. It’s the all-kink episode of Garbage Brain University, and it’s here now, on your headphones (not over your speakers, at least if you’re at work.) A subscription to our Patreon will give you instant access to our Discord, or if you want to subscrib...

Today’s episode features the absolutely true story of the title, plus the reason why Natalie won’t get on (or out of) a spaceship, Drew’s favorite conspiracy theory, why some people think Saddam Hussein had a stargate, and the long, bizarre tale of why Drew & Natalie were crisis actors for FEMA. Want to hear the episodes you’ve missed and live-chat with other listeners 24/7? You’ll need to join ou...

In this episode, Drew & Natalie Dee answer the age-old question: do ants have dicks? We also talked about how to cook ants, ant communism, why ants puke, and finally reveal the story of the time we got an ant high. Want to hear the episodes you missed? Join our Patreon , where you’ll get instant access to our Discord server where we chat with listeners, and be able to listen to the ever-growing ar...

Today’s episode of GBU features our friend Elissa ( @badgirlfriday ) and it’s a double-sized tale of the time Natalie and Elissa went to a psychic last week to explore their past lives. We talked crystals, psychic elevators, psychic cheese-making, and the universality of the mind’s Golden Country. You’ll also hear who Natalie was in a past life, and why Elissa didn’t have one. Join our Patreon for...

It’s true. Babies are stupid. In this episode, we talked about stealing a baby’s milk, giving birth on drugs, why babies don’t need clothes, and the time our kid said Fuck in the parent-teacher conference. Ride the Genimi. • drew & natalie This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

Happy 2020! Episode 60 of Garbage Brain University is here, and it’s all about tattoos, the permanent markings we love to get on our skin. Drew & Natalie talk about why they want to see nipples, the logistics of getting xanax-bar tattoos, asking someone about their personal shit, and the fabled return of the Vibrating Teeth. If you haven’t subscribed yet, you’re missing half of our episodes. You c...

Hey! It’s Natalie Dee & Drew Toothpaste, and we’re back again to talk about drop-kicking cheese across the yard, the relationship between horses and goats, and, of course, why three goats were once the mayor. All this, and over nine hundred other goat facts, are right here, right now, in this episode of Garbage Brain University. If you haven’t subscribed yet, you’re missing half of our episodes. Y...