The Great Mistake, by Garbage Brain University

We answer all your questions about nuts and inhabiting a corporeal form on today’s GBU. “Wait! Natalie and Drew! You didn’t answer my question! I didn’t even know I could ask questions to be included on the show!” That’s because you’re not in our Discord. Follow the instructions in the episode or click the “Upgrate To Paid” button to join us there. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you...

We learn about laundry today, from ancient to modern times. Plus: why you don't have to wash your pants, what you can (and can't) throw away, the Soylent guy and his Engineer Brain, terpenes, soap, and what happens when you eat a mango like an apple. Not subscribed? Do that if you want in on our live trivia matches, chat room, and the 150 patron-only episodes you haven’t heard yet. Click the “Subs...

Cigarette breaks, parasols, why Drew always has an umbrella, why Natalie never does, basements, golf, umbrella-based weapons, fake cigarettes, and the like. Feeling like you’re missing something? You are. As a non-patron you’re only getting half of the possible Garbage Brain University episodes. To listen to the 150(!) episodes you’ve missed, as well as play our live trivia game and chat with othe...

Flies: our opinions on them, your opinions on them, what to do about the Antarctica Problem, how they relate to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, why they eat shit, how to train mice, why maggots may be Actually Good, and more. Hey, if you’re not a subscriber, now is probably the time, because we could use your help to keep GBU going! Hit the “Subscribe Now” button here, or support us in another ap...

How to be a parent in the 1980s, getting the runs, Humbos (new invention,) the Drinky Rink, and more cookie-based experiences and inventions, all for you, today. Subscribing here or elsewhere gives you access to the Discord, which is our members-only live trivia game and chat room. Join now and you can discuss today’s episode live with Drew & Natalie. Oh, also! Have you seen our new and old-but-re...

What makes a neighbor a neighbor? What makes a suburb a suburb? Why do they keep putting those five-story buildings made out of toothpicks everywhere? And how do you manipulate city council to do your bidding? These, and thousands of other questions, are answered in this very episode. Subscribe now to keep us writing, researching, and recording Garbage Brain University, please. Also, if you haven’...

Hot dogs are America’s favorite dog, like it or not! We talk pork, beef, and vegetable dogs, along with eating from the bulk bins, why humans can’t figure out how to eat, the art of splitting something exactly in half, and why no one would ever vote for Natalie. Also: the allure of being by yourself. You’ll have to listen to this one. We’ve been playing trivia a few times a day in the Discord, so...

When’s the last time you went bowling? We talked about improving this ancient game, why presidents love it, how to use Flonase the right way (not how you think!) and how Drew once dated a cake farter. Help us keep making GBU by subscribing (you’re missing half our episodes!) • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episo...

In today’s long-awaited episode, we cover remote viewing, the CIA, the Stargate program, the simulation we’re probably stuck inside, apps that let you remote view, and why you’re mostly not human to begin with. All of the supplemental materials to today’s show are posted to Discord, where other listeners are talking about remote viewing at this very moment, along with a dozen other things. If you’...

Centipedes! They’re mysterious, and good for the earth even if they’re disgusting. Actually, they might not be good for the earth. They might be woated. Patrons (paid subscribers) get more than free members, like over 140 episodes that are patron-only and our Discord community with bonus content and extras (as well as a chat room.) Subscribe now to get access. • natalie & drew This is a public epi...

Cue the stock circus music! We dive into the history of circuses, and the history of people doing dumb things outside of the circus. On top of the very most obvious aspects of circuses, we covered cow bingo, togas, circus aesthetics, object manipulation, and the crowning question of all: Why Don’t People Do Anything Anymore? Subscribe/become a patron now and you’ll be just in time for MAYLIEN, our...

Eating wildlife raw, monetizing jellyfish, and how jellyfish even move around in the first place. Also: why some of them are immortal, what they do all day, what mysteries they keep in their sacs and nodules, and what baby chicks have to do with all of this. You’re missing MAYLIEN, our groundbreaking miniseries on aliens, if you’re not subscribed. A subscription/patronage to GBU gives you full acc...

Emotions: experiments, how to keep them mellow, how to Ben Franklin them, and more. But more importantly: You are seriously fucking up right now by not subscribing/becoming a patron, because RIGHT THIS MOMENT, we’re running a new miniseries called MAYLIEN. For the entire month of May, subscribers and patrons get our deep look into Roswell, close encounters, underground alien battles, landings, and...

Why the Cincinnati Castle is for idiots! Also: White Castle, sandcastles, bunkers, moats, woods, and all of the dirty business of castles, old and new. Please subscribe so that we can continue to pay the Garbage Brain University research team and write/record these episodes! You’ll get over 130 episodes you haven’t heard, plus access to our secret Discord server. • natalie & drew This is a public...

Why nothing humans make will last, why spiders are the worst bugs, why people perceive almost nothing, how spiders make silk, the ongoing cloaca situation, and what humans could do if we could make thread. Plus Imposter Syndrome, aliens changing our DNA, and the true purpose of all the plastic we make, micro or macro. Please subscribe, by the way. Your five bucks would keep us researching, writing...

Blood tests, birds exploding, and other reasons not to like weddings. Hit the “subscribe now” button to access the 136 paid episodes plus our Discord chatroom. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

Pigeon races, camel races, racewalking, swimming, nude biking, and all the other races that have ever existed. Which one would you be in? If you’re not a patron/subscriber you’re missing 135 premium-only episodes which you can access immediately by clicking the “Subscribe Now” button: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to b...

Would you become a cannibal? We talk about all the important parts of cannibalism: bioaccumulation, taste, Big Lurch, Christ Bearer, and chickens eating chickens. Also, prions, pour-overs, and the shit tree. Not a subscriber? Support GBU by giving us five dollars and you’ll be rewarded with 134 paid-patron-only episodes plus access to our secret Discord: • natalie & drew This is a public episode....

People love hippos… but should they? We look deeply into the hippo-dolphin connection, why they spray feces, why Drew doesn’t believe in wind chill, and why people love the lowest common denominator. Also: GG Allin, ancient zoos, muting people, and sleeping in the bathtub. Please consider supporting GBU since you listen to it and love it. A patronage here or elsewhere is only $5 and gives you inst...

But first, books: what came before them? Who invented them (not Gutenberg, obviously?) Who invented spaces between words? Why did the Roman Empire fall? Why are we here? What comes after this? In ten, a thousand, a million, a trillion years? Subscribe now (instant access to the 132 odd-numbered episodes you’ve never heard) please. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss...

Emojis, in their short life online, have accomplished a lot. We talked our favorite emojis, “internet tone,” why they don’t have a nose, passive aggression, why the smiley face is copyrighted, Natalie’s idea for a mobile game, and 🆗. Not subscribed? You’re missing half of our episodes and our secret chat-room/group-game hub. Subscribe now to join us. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If...

Hey, we’ve gotta talk about something important: we need your help to keep making Garbage Brain University, and the only way you can help is by becoming a patron/subscriber. Hit the “Subscribe Now” button and you’ll be instantly rewarded with 130 subscriber-only episodes, but you’ll also have helped us to continue researching, writing, and recording two of these every week. Anyway! Are caterpillar...

How many twins are there? Why do mammals have them? And what goes down at the Kentucky Pig Derby? We answer questions on these, dox the Dick Boys, and Drew creates a plan for neighbors to raise children more efficiently. All in today’s free episode. Want to listen to the episodes we publish for subscribers only? The 129 full-length episodes you’ve never heard? You should know how to do that by now...

Welcome to the shitty holiday season! We talked about why they’re usually on Monday, why Natalie likes Flag Day, why Drew hates the flag, mini eggs, Bezos, Columbus Day, Jack Nicklaus, and the secret of the Seychelles. Please subscribe so that we may continue making more of these: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus...

Anteaters: I don’t like the look of them! Giant anteaters, silky anteaters, what the Wall Street Journal thinks of us, why Salvador Dali had an anteater, how they make more anteaters, and all about their insanely weird tongue. Subscribe now to help us keep making more Garbage Brain University! • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get ac...