The Gayly Planet: The Final Fronqueer | A Star Trek Podcast

Today’s headlines: Hogwarts school to remain open despite the fact that students are in obvious peril! when questioned, most parents claimed that a prolonged state of terror and uncertainty builds character. The Front Page: Let’s be honest about the actual use of a swelling solution. Editorials: Ron! Get your wand fixed! Politics: Leave. Neville. Alone. Education: Who in the world authorized this...

Today’s Headlines: Hogwarts quidditch coach under scrutiny for failure to do literally any part of her job Front Page: Colin’s crush on Harry is intense! Lockhart is a dandy for the ages! Editorials: Hermione, we really aren’t sure about this plan… What is Hermione’s rising sign? Politics: House Elves Sports: Quidditch! It’s terrible! Education: Why can’t anyone at this school do their jobs? All t...

Today’s Headlines: Hogwarts revealed to be all kinds of unsafe for children! Parents are shockingly unfazed by this information, sources say the general public response is, “ah, f*ck 'em.” Front Page: Does the basilisk shoot fire from its eyes? Editorials: Hermione, what are you doing?! Politics: Gendered bathrooms are trash! Education: Lockhart should have fled to muggle society and joined the or...

Today’s Headlines: Muggle Abuse at Hogwarts: Public outraged to learn that a single muggle is responsible for the janitorial services for the entire castle despite being the only person there who cannot perform magic! Front Page: This goth party is everything we want. Politics: Filch Human Rights Violation Watch! Editorials: OMG Nick’s botched execution! Health and Science: Ghosts! Today’s episode...

Today’s headlines: Parents Outraged By Hogwarts’ Quidditch Policy Which Requires Students To Supply Their Own Brooms—School Claims Inequity “Builds Character” The Front Page: 90s Alt Rock! Drama Gay Draco! Education: OMG this school. Politics: Human rights violations! Racism! Ableism! Editorials: Lockhart aka this f*cking guy Sports: Calm down, Oliver! Health and Science: How do these photos work?...

The title says it all! This episode has nothing to do with Harry Potter and everything to do with how we came to be so very queer. !!!Content warnings for unsupportive parents and general human suckiness around the subject of queerness and transness. Find the article about JKR at https://www.themarysue.com/jk-rowling-transphobic-follows/ Listen to the song about Lark’s wedding here Check out our w...

For the 4th and final installment of our Pride month interview series, Jessie talked with Tahirah Green and Prerna Abbi-Scanlon about race and representation in the Harry Potter series, growing up as queer nerds of color, the absolute trash that is the epilogue, and their (incredible) patronuses! It was a wonderful conversation that we know you’re going to love! Find Tahirah’s work at Tahirah.art...

For the 3rd installment of our Pride month interview series we talked with queer parenting writer David Minerva Clover all about parenting in the Harry Potter series! Are there any good parents in these books? Probably not! Find David’s writing on the Washington Post, New York Magazine, Huffington Post, and many other places! Check out his blog at postnuclearera.wordpress.com Find him on socials @...

For the first installment of our Pride month interview series we are bringing you the interview we did with Mey Rude about our reading of Hagrid as a beautiful lesbian trans woman. It's a truly joyful conversation and we are so thrilled to be able to share it! Mey Rude can be found at meyrude.com or on socials @meyrude You can also find her work on Autostraddle, Them, and more! Check out our websi...

Today’s Headlines: Professor Gilderoy Lockhart Was Actually A Blowup Doll! Font Page: Wow Professor Sprout is Gay!!! Education: New Teacher Profile: Professor Gilderoy Lockhart aka This F*cking Guy Politics: Muggle Borns: the class dichotomy as portrayed by Justin Finch-Fletchly and Colin Creevy Health and Science: Mandrakes—Still People! Open this week’s newspaper to read all about it! Check out...

Today's Headlines: Ministry accused of having absolutely no comprehensive policy regarding the restriction for underaged sorcery, investigation reveals that enforcement is completely arbitrary. Front Page: Gay for McGonagall Watch! Politics: What is up with the Restriction for Underage Sorcery??? Corrections: This whole entire chapter! Health and Science: The sky is cold! Check out our website, wh...

Todays Headlines: Millenials are killing Floo Powder: Today’s youth are opting for methods of travel they consider “safer” and “more reliable.” The Front Page: What’s Knockturn Alley really all about? Expose: Floo Powder! It’s the worst! Politics: This Malfoy guy sure is something, eh? Stay tuned for a snippet of “Codename: Honeypot,” our latest Patreon exclusive! Check out our website, where you...

Today’s Headlines: Imprisoned Boy Rescued By Children After Adults Fail To Take Action The Front Page: Wow, this sure is one thinly veiled metaphor for [censored] Community Profile: The Weasley Family! Politics: The Adventures of Martin the Mad Muggle Health and Science: Gnomes! Sentient plants! Personhood! Open the paper to read all about it! Check out our website, where you can see weekly comics...

Today’s Headlines: America’s Favorite Gryffindandy Fails For The First Time To Find A Humorous Headline: Sources Say The Chapter Was Just Too Upsetting! Politics: House Elves! Abuse! NSA Watch! Health and Science: Are House Elves Nocturnal? Editorials: Owl Stunners! Dear Hedwig: Should I kidnap this person because I think they are in danger? Help! Check out our website, where you can see weekly co...

A chapter so upsetting that it gets its own theme song! Today’s Headlines: Beloved author exposed as fatphobic jerkface, fans demand apology! The Front Page: why would Vernon invite this dude to his house??? Politics: fatphobia and child abuse. Health and Science: the genetic basis of magic. Also including our Master’s Thesis on the stylistic differences between Harry Potter and a Roald Dahl novel...

Welcome to our book one wrap up episode! This week we were joined by the incredible Sarah Sarwar as we examine Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone through the lens of the Fool’s Journey, aka the tarot major arcana. We were careful to keep the discussion accessible to all, regardless of whether you know anything about tarot! Remember all that talk we did about Autostraddle.com? Go visit Autostrad...

Today’s Headlines: Teen Murders Teacher; Wins Trophy. Health and Science: does voldemort have bangs, or…? And did the snakes he possessed have a tiny Voldemort face on the backs of their heads? Politics: is anyone going to talk about how this kid just killed his teacher? Obituaries: Quirrell is dead, RIP…wait, who? Also featuring a very special chapter recap song! Check out our website, where you...

Today's Headlines: Hogwarts headmaster accused of sending children through a dangerous obstacle course to fight a mass murderer! In the education section: these exams are terrible. NSA Watch: this obstacle course was clearly designed for these specific children. Health and Science: how far must a child fall for death to be certain? A personals ad for Hermione: you're the actual best. We have a sho...

Special edition! An update on the ongoing investigation of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry, which has revealed gross incompetence, invasions of privacy, negligence, highly dangerous punishment tactics, and frequent student injuries. Are any of our children safe? Check out our website, where you can see weekly comics inspired by the episodes, by Theo Julien Forrester! Follow us on instag...

The Gayly Prophet officially endorses queers co-opting of “Zaddy” from The Straights. Today’s Headlines: Hogwarts Detention Policy Shocks Parents—horrifying information surfaces about punishment tactics used at Hogwarts after four 1st years were nearly murdered in the forbidden forest! Breaking news: Malfoy absolutely should have told his father about this. Health and Science: Let’s talk about Cen...

In this very special episode, we got to talk to Mey Rude about a truly joyful theory we have about Hagrid! There’s also some stuff about how we (mostly Lark) don’t know geography and how dramatic Snape is, but holy moly you guys, this conversation!!! Find Mey at meyrude.com, or on socials @meyrude Check out our website, where you can see weekly comics inspired by the episodes, by Theo Julien Forre...

A PSA to IRL Slytherins: We love you! A note to Ron: you’re not a good friend, fix yourself. Dumbledore and Flamel were like, partner partners, yeah? Why did Hagrid eat a stoat? Are you all ready to cry about Neville again? All this and more in today’s edition of the Gayly Prophet! Check out our website, where you can see weekly comics inspired by the episodes, by Theo Julien Forrester! Follow us...

Why does Hogwarts celebrate Christmas? What’s the deal with broomsticks? Why must we be subjected to these quidditch passages? Is there any sort of system to the Hogwarts library? Does everyone know that Nicholas Flamel was a real person? Dear Hedwig, why is Dumbledore keeping the Mirror of Erised out where kids can find it, and how can I stop him? All this and more in this week’s edition of the G...

Is Dumbledore seriously invisibly stalking children right now? Is Hagrid baiting these kids on purpose, or is Dumbledore using him as a tool in his strange chess game? Hoo Boy, is the mirror of Erised terrible or what?! Remember that time that Hermione set Snape ON FIRE??? Read all about it in this weeks edition of the Gayly Prophet! The whole Co’Coon Skin situation Check out our website , where y...

What would happen if the Sorting Hat decided to quit its job? How does Wood know what a golf ball is? Why does poor Neville have to learn how to fly a broom? This and so much more is all inside today’s issue of the Gayly Prophet! The podcast to which this podcast owes its existence: ohwitchplease.ca Check out our brand new website , where you can see weekly comics inspired by the episodes, by Theo...