The Franchisees

We return with part two of our series on the epic ten-part anime series,  Saw . Does this sequel have two times the torture, two times the traps, two times the grime? Or does it completely suck? Listen to find out! Alex and Ben get trapped in a Toronto nerve gas house thanks to the new Saw  series landlord, Darren Lynn Bousman. Can his scripting and direction hold a candle to the dynamite team of...

"I want to play a game. Listener... your whole life, um... no ok, uh *clears throat* the last few months of your life you've been listening to The Franchisees podcast... now, um... now you're trapped in a uh... ok I don't actually want to play a game right now... I am too tired." New franchise alert! We are beginning our epic series on the 10-part live-action anime franchi...

Ben and Al reunite - not that you would have noticed. Thank god we've finally made it to the finish line of the Ninja Turtles franchise. There were some highs and lows, mostly lows, but we're ending the series with a bang. Canadian dopesmoker Seth Rogen has done it again! Mutant Mayhem is not only a fun animated movie, it is perhaps the greatest piece of Ninja Turtles content out there. ...

We're comin' out! Out of the shadows that is. Yep, there's another Ninja Turtles movie: this one is the sequel to the reboot from 2014 that sucked. Is  Out of the Shadows an improvement? Yes it is, in nearly every way. Zanier, funnier, closer to a live-action cartoon adaptation than a soulless, gritty reboot. *Charlie Rose voice* "We have Bebop. We have Rocksteady. We have Kran...

Welcome back! 7 long years have passed since TMNT (2007) graced the big screen. Hundreds of people hard at work, scripting, planning, crafting, animating... and this is what they came up with. This week we're talking about the monstrous Michael Bay-produced series reboot from 2014 and we have a very special guest who eagle-eared listeners may recognize from podcast lore: Will Gertler, aka Wil...

What an episode we have for you this week. Is it about the 2007 computer animated Ninja Turtles movie TMNT ? Well, partly. We get to it eventually, around an hour in. It's just not a very good or interesting movie unfortunately. Not really much to talk about! But that's ok, because many other exciting things have been happening. Ben had a real life encounter with Hollywood legend Drew Ba...

Boring ass movie alert!  The Turtles go back in time... sounds like a blast from the past, eh? Well it's not, it's boring as shit! Join Alex and Ben as they struggle to come up with things to say about Turtles in Time. How could they mess this up? Sending the Turtles to Feudal Japan sounds great on paper, right? Unfortunately, this film is bogged down by plot. More story does not necessa...

"Go Ninja Go Ninja Go!" These are the immortal words of the Jim Henson Creature Shop rapping animatronic they named Vanilla Ice. He's in this movie and, unfortunately, in one of the more fun parts. The turtles are back to kick some shell, having been out of theatres for a whole year. Released at arguably the height of Turtlemania, is this a bigger and better sequel or merely a shall...

New franchise time! The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is one of the biggest and most profitable media franchises of all time. Comics, toys, TV series, movies... all perfectly intertwined to make maximum money. But does this sellout series have any heart? Is our nostalgia for the four lads from NYC enough to get us through these films for children? Tubular, radical, copacetic. We know these words, b...

Hot new release movie coming at you fresh off the resurrected legacy sequel pipeline. We saw  Dial of Destiny opening night and recorded our thoughts just for you because we love you. How does Indy 5 stack up against the other films in the series? Is it as disappointing as the Cannes critics said it was? And what exactly is this Dial of Destiny? All these burning questions will be answered! We don...

Join the Franchisees as we climb into the lead-lined fridge and survive the nuclear blast that is  Kingdom of the Crystal Skull . Is this film as bad as its reputation? Or is it a secret masterpiece? Or is it perhaps some sort of third thing?  Paul joins us again to revisit a film we all last saw in theatres when we were young adults. Now that we're old, disgusting men... will we appreciate i...

Happy Father's Day! Last Crusade conveniently landed on this important day where we all remember to call our father figures and acknowledge their existence. In his third and, at one point in many of our living memories, final adventure, Indiana Jones is paired up with his estranged dad, Sean Connery. Can they work together to find the Holy Grail before the Nazis? Will Indy gain Sean's lo...

***the following episode description has been written in the style of everyone's favourite Temple of Doom character, Willie*** AHHHHH! OH MY GOD, THERE'S NO PILOT!!! AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! INDY! AHHHHHHH! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, THERE'S A KID DRIVING THE CAR!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHH!! THERE ARE TWO DEAD PEOPLE IN HERE! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! OH MY GOD!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!...

BONUS BONUS BONUS Ben has now seen every film directed by writer/director, film critic, and legendary Facebook poster Paul Schrader. For that reason, as well as the release of Master Gardener , The Franchisees have recorded some emergency bonus content ranking every Paul Schrader-directed film.  Is this episode just a long and barely coherent rant by Ben? Is this foolish endeavour worth listening...

The Franchisees are back with a new, exciting franchise: the Indian Jones films! Action, adventure, romance, and goofball gags galore. Directed by friend of the pod Steven Spielberg (FKA Sammy Fabelman), the first film in the series Raiders of the Lost Ark is considered to be one of the greatest action-adventure films of all time. A non-stop thrill ride filled with examples of Spielberg's bri...

Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson... the two best buddies in cinema history are back! This time they're on a new adventure to jolly old Londontown where they save the day with a little help from a few famous English friends. Special guest Jordan Seccareccia is back to accompany Alex and Ben on this nostalgic journey across the pond. Shanghai Knights is the easy, breezy sequel we're talking abo...

We're back this week with a new franchise: everyone's favourite Jackie Chan action buddy comedy series... Shanghai Noon ? That's right, The Franchisees are watching the superior (to Rush Hour ) attempt at giving global action superstar Jackie Chan a fun American franchise. Are these two films the greatest American movies of Jackie's career? Alex and Ben are joined by Hong Kong...

The Franchisees wrap up another series with the final film in the Godfather trilogy, The Godfather Part III. Is it the worst in the series? Yes. But is it a "bad" film overall? No! Part III has a bit of a stink on it and Alex and Ben talk about why that might be. Ben had never seen this movie before, his many attempts thwarted throughout the years for all sorts of reasons (laziness). Ale...

The Franchisees are back to discuss what is often called "the greatest sequel of all time." Is that true? Better than Paranormal Activity 2 ? You'll have to listen to find out! Joining us to talk about The Godfather Part II is filmmaker and script supervisor Aidan Payne (featuring a special off-mic appearance/laugh track from past and future guest Jesse). Aidan came all the way from...

On this week's episode of The Franchisees we tackle a little known Italian-American gem: The Godfather. It's a classic. Francis Ford Coppola. We have no choice but to stan. Join us for this new series as we discuss the Godfather trilogy, the work of Fjord Coppola, the legendary actors and collaborators, and the story of movie magic on the Paramount lot.  This is a very discursive episode...

We just couldn't talk about Pier Paolo Pasolini's "Trilogy of Life" without devoting an episode to his final film, his masterpiece, his first in a proposed "Trilogy of Death"... Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom . One of the most infamous and controversial films of all time, Salò is a brutal and uncompromising work that, due to his murder mere weeks before its release, s...

One Thousand and One Nights. These hot stories go back, way back, possibly being the genesis of every horny yarn you've ever heard! Who better to adapt them than friend of the pod Pier Paolo Pasolini? Alex and Ben are back to discuss the third and final film in Pasolini's Trilogy of Life, Arabian Nights. The erotic tales are told out of order and without their usual framing story. Pasoli...

The bawdiness and ribaldry continue in the second film of Pier Paolo Pasolini's Trilogy of Life, The Canterbury Tales. My god, what a picture! The stench coming off this thing, good lord! Alex and Ben dive head first into the shit, piss, cum, and vomit and come out the other side realizing that this film is a stone cold masterpiece.  We love you Ninetto Davoli, MVP. The boys also watched some...

Spring has sprung! And there's no better way to get in the mood than joining The Franchisees for Pasolini April. We're discussing the life and work of Italian poet, author, intellectual, and filmmaker Pier Paolo Pasolini, a great artist who may not have technically directed a "franchise" but did make a "thematic trilogy" with his three thematically linked adaptations...

Join us for a special bonus episode (we had some time left on the podcast meter). Alex and Ben finally talk about Die Hart and other movies they've been watching recently. There's also a special video game corner for all you "gamers" out there. Special bonus for our special listeners. We love you!  xoxoxo