The Franchisees

Jurassic World Dominion NO COLON You don't have to watch this movie! You could go outside! You don't have to have seen this movie to enjoy this podcast, we don't even talk about it until an hour in! Don't do this to yourself, you're better than that! I'm serious, don't bother! Do some chores, call your mom, get a start on your taxes for god's sake.  Follow u...

We're back to discuss the 2nd film in the JURASSIC WORLD series, JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM. It's a real doozy so thank god we're joined by our special guest Rob McLay, a musician and passionate dinosaur rights advocate. Rob raises an important question: we agree dinosaurs should be granted rights... but should they also receive the right to vote? Join us for an in-depth politic...

oh this is a big special extra long and rambling episode for you real Fanchisees out there, we love you and if you listen to this whole episode you will be rewarded with the knowledge of the name of the street Jordan B. Peterson lives on. we promise that next year we will figure out a better format for this but until then: listen or die!

It's Jurassic's World, we're just living in it. That doesn't really make sense I guess. But maybe there was a time when rebooting the Jurassic franchise didn't make sense either... makes you think. I'm sure glad they decided to make more swell dino movies for us that don't suck! We discuss legacy sequels and Chris Pratt and Colin Trevorrow and all sorts of other...

Ben eats a bagel, the boys respond to legitimate fan mail, and discuss the stirring final chapter of the Jurassic  Park   trilogy. 

Something Survived... that's right, The Franchisees are back with the dino-tastic sequel to Jurassic Park.  There's little debate around whether this second entry is "dino-tastic"... but is it any good? Does Sammy Fabelman recapture some of the magic of the original We offer up some lukewarm takes! Before we eventually talk about The Lost World: Jurassic Park we also catch up o...

We're back! New year, new us. Looking to the future, and the future's gonna be bright. That's why we chose to go back 65 million years to bring you some gargantuan dino content. Our first franchise of 2024: Jurassic Park/World. It brings me immeasurable displeasure to include /World... I really don't want to watch any of those three films again but this is the ebb and flow, the...

Last episode of the year! Happy New Year! Hypergremlinization! See you on the other side!

Bah! Humbug!

'Twas the night before Christmas if you listen to this immediately or maybe next year on December 24th it could become a tradition for you why not? We're coming to you from the North Pole with a special Christmas-themed double bill: the Gremlins franchise! We've recorded two short and sloppy episodes for you this holiday season, may you enjoy them in good cheer. Joe Dante. Sammy Fab...

I’m making chocolate of course! We’re back to check in with the latest screen version of the beloved character Willy Wonka. What’s he been up to? What was he like before the first film? And before that? And before that? And before that? What was he like as a little sperm? All our questions are finally answered. Friend of the pod and famous Fanchisee Jordan joins us to discuss the film and also sha...

What a fucking drag! This week we revisited a real piece of crap, Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory . Does Burton's pure imagination combined with a delicious performance by Joni Dripp result in a confection you'll go crazy for? I certainly hope not! Revisiting this a week after rediscovering the joy of the original did not do it any favours. Next week we'll be see...

"Help! Help! Somebody help me! If you can read this, send help! I'm a fat little German boy and I'm stuck in the chocolate pipe! Please for the love of god help me, I've been here for days! I can't feel my legs! I can't feel my legs! Oh my god I'm going to die here! I'm going to die like this! Oh god! Oh god save me, please! I can't eat anymore chocolat...

Hello listeners, we've got a ballad to sing to you, I hope you don't find that cringe! Special guest Mary Jane joins us again to talk about the latest instalment of the popular young adult dystopian sci-fi series The Hunger Games. It's a prequel so we've got a whole new cast of characters and fresh faces. Does this film justify its own existence? Even we cannot answer such weig...

Another double feature for all you weirdo arrested development YA freaks! That's right, The Franchisees are back with HG: MJ 1+2 with very special guest and Hunger Games aficionado, Mary Jane. MJ suggested this series in the first place, so it's great to have her guide us through the latter half of this dystopian franchise.  Should they have split this last book into two films? No! But d...

New franchise alert! Two movies in one episode? Can it be done? Turns out, yes it can, quite easily. After some unforeseen issues and delays we've decided to truncate our Hunger Games series into 3 episodes so as not to mess with our extremely tight and rigid schedule. And if you have a problem with that go fly a kite and also go fuck yourself. Joining us to talk all things Hunger Games this...

A Halloween Special in November? That's right. And if you don't like it, your beloved Simpsons used to do it all the time so stop complaining!  For the past few years Alex and Ben and our friend also named Ben had a Halloween movie marathon at the end of October. This year we decided to make audio content out of it!  Ben wasn't able to join unfortunately so this is a special episode...

*****Thank you for listening and we're sorry there was no episode last week. We'll make it up to you with this long episode and some more bonus eps coming up soon. We love you.***** *****WARNING: There is nothing particularly 'X-rated' about this episode despite the sensational title.*****

Ben got cropped. Chris Rock got slapped. These things happen and who can really say who was in the wrong and who was in the right? All we can do is analyze these moments again and again and again until they finally become clear. We're back with the penultimate episode of our long-running, award-winning series on the epic 10-part anime SAW ... this is a cruddy spinoff though so don't get...

The Final Chapter my ass. The Saw Series continues after a long hiatus with the 2017 sequel/prequel/spinoff Jigsaw directed by the Spierig Brothers. Jigsaw is terrorizing Toronto yet again, this time trapping a group of sinners in a barn somewhere. Canadian acting icon Callum Keith Rennie is on the case. Not a great movie! Join us next week for Chris Rock's Spiral: From the Book of Saw.

A silly episode for a silly movie. Good silly! We had a lot of fun with this Extremely Goofy Movie that attempts to wrap up the series with a slightly more heightened style than your average Saw (which is really saying something). Kevin Greutert is back and thank god Twisted Pictures forced him into it. Jigsaw/Hoffman/Dr. Cary Elwes take their revenge on cheaters, racists, liars, and, of course, t...

We're back with an action-packed, double/triple guested, too long episode! Thank you for joining us for the sixth part in the epic ten-part anime series, Saw.  Saw VI is easily among the best in the series and we all loved it. Longtime editor of the Saw films Kevin Greutert takes over directing duties for the first time and does a superlative job. We have perhaps the best victims yet and some...

Congratulations! You've made it halfway through our series on the epic ten-part anime franchise SAW. Good for you, well done. Friend of the pod Devin Shears joins us this week to discuss Saw V , a film which makes the bizarre decision to focus less on the traps and more on the... character development? Give us what we want! This is a very cheap-looking film, and not exactly the highlight of t...

We're back with another entry in our series on the epic 10-part anime SAW series. This one's a doozy, we've got so much to discuss. We don't even get to talking about  Saw IV until an hour in! Ben and Alex give their thoughts on some hot new flicks coming out of the Toronto International Film Festival (including Harmony Korine's much anticipated AGGRO DR1FT fwah fwah fwah...

We're back, Darren Lynn Bousman is back, and our special guest Katherine Vienneau is back! Where does the epic 10-part anime Saw series go after the boring and bad Saw II ? Can returning director DLB step up his twisted game for this sequel? Yes, oh lord yes! Saw III is the true beginning of the Saw sequel madness! We got Jigsaw, we got Amanda, we got brain surgery, we got traps and traps for...