The Feminine Critique Podcast

It’s here! A whole season of terrible cozy cardigan Christmas movies torn apart in podcast form. First up is Firefly’s Summer Glau as an earnest elf who has to learn how to wear high heels and help a wealthy family discover the true meaning of the holidays (i.e., that work is way less important than your children, obviously). Hallmark’s Help For the Holidays, from 2012. There will be public domain...

Break out your cleanest OR scrubs and coolest choker for this very high school-centric episode. Christine and Emily take a stroll down memory lane, visiting 1998’s Rushmore and the 2002-set, 2017-made Lady Bird. Neither is spoiled. Some tears may flow. Come share your own teenage memories over on Twitter @femininepodcast or on our Facebook group. Also, go see Lady Bird. Seriously.

WE DID IT! It wasn’t easy and involved a lot of bloated pasty men screaming, but Christine and Emily survived all eight Saw movies and are here to tell you everything you need to know about Parts VI, VII, and VIII (aka The Healthcare One, The 3D One, and The New One). We go full spoilers on Parts VI & VII before breaking before delving deep into Jigsaw, so those who haven’t seen the newest offerin...

Strap yourself into a possible electrified seat next to an ex-New Kid on the Block noosed on a block of ice and get comfortable! We’re here to talk about Saw IV & V (plus a whole lot of other movies). Come share your thoughts on Twitter @femininepodcast or in our Facebook group where magic happens and no one will ever squish you in a wall.

It begins. Christine and Emily delve deep into the first three Saw films. It’s rusty. It’s shouty. It’s convoluted-y. While we do go into spoiler-y detail on these films, we don’t tread too deeply into the rest of the series. We’ve got two more episodes for that! Share your thoughts on our Facebook group or on Twitter via @femininepodcast. Just make sure you’re appreciating life and all that. Beca...

In celebration of John Lithgow’s perfectly timed Emmy win, Christine and Emily dig deep into some of his most bonkers performances with 1984’s The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension and 1992’s Raising Cain. We do go into extreme detail on the latter, so spoilers are aplenty. Have a listen and come share your thoughts on the episode over on Twitter @femininepodcast or via our Fa...

Make yourself comfortable folks: we’ve got a LOT to say. On this supersized edition, Christine and Emily go full in on George Romero’s Land of the Dead and even fully on Mick Garris’s 1994 miniseries adaptation of Stephen King’s The Stand. M-O-O-N, that spells a very long episode. Come weigh in over on Twitter (@femininepodcast) or on The Feminine Critique Facebook page. Also, don’t forget: STAND.

Let us all gather in celebration and worship of the goddess that is Charlize Theron. After a lengthy summer break, Christine and Emily return to discuss her 2003 Oscar winning turn in Patty Jenkins’ Monster, followed by her slightly less successful run in Karyn Kusama’s Aeon Flux. Also, The Langoliers, because why wouldn’t it be Christine’s favorite thing in the world? ome share your thoughts on o...

Grab your former roommate and have a listen as Christine and Emily tackle a pair of cinematic spiritual twins. After a little RuPaul’s Drag Race and Wonder Woman chitchat, the ladies delve into 1978’s Girlfriends, directed by Claudia Weill, and 2012’s Frances Ha, by Noah Baumbach with a little help from Greta Gerwig. Please be aware that they go into pretty deep detail for both films, so spoiler-s...

Stretch those muscles! Vaseline those teeth! Look and feel your best with our latest episode, wherein Christine and Emily vault their way into two female-centric black comedies. First up is 1999’s star-studded docu-style Drop Dead Gorgeous. They follow it up with 2015’s The Bronze, a Sundance darling that never found its audience. UNTIL NOW. Maybe. You’ll see. Share your thoughts with us on our Fa...

Saddle up for a very special episode of The Feminine Critique, wherein Christine proves her excellence by completely turning Emily around on a movie. First up is 2009’s The Skeptic, starring Tim Daly and Christine’s best friend Tom Arnold. They follow that up with Texas Chainsaw (not Massacre) 3D, a movie which leads to a very prolonged discussion about the physics of bras. Come share your own opi...

Strap in and hang on: we’re back, and we’ve got LOTS to say. After an extensive “what we’ve been watching” recap, Christine and Emily dive in paws first to Mick Garris and Stephen King’s Sleepwalkers, one of the greatest pieces of ridiculousness to come out of the ‘90s. Next up is Tony Scott’s very pretty The Hunger, starring a whole lot of very pretty people. If you like or hate what you hear, re...

Welcome to a very weird (from a technical standpoint) episode of The Feminine Critique, as Christine and Emily tackle 1942’s classic Cat People and 1982’s less classic Cat People. Due to Emily’s inability to understand Skype, we had to do a little audio juggling. This episode starts with our main feature discussion and ends with some choppy audio of our “what we’ve been watching” usual intro. I tr...

Welcome to the tiger house of podcasts as Christine and Emily delve teeth first into 2010’s Burning Bright (aka the movie that should have been called Tiger House) and 2009’s TiMER (aka a wonderful film that admittedly would be improved with more tigers). Listen, laugh, love. Share your thoughts over at our Facebook page or on Twitter via @femininepocast. SMOOCHES.

Pull on that singlet and do some stretching for this super wrestling-heavy episodes. Christine and Emily delve deep into the WWE network’s 2006 attempt at horror with See No Evil, then follow it up with 2015’s Russell Madness. It’s about a dog who wrestles, and it’s as fantastic as it sounds. We apologize for the patchy audio quality on Emily’s end, but that should be resolved by the next episode....

What better way to start 2017 than with Christine and Emily pairing an art-house indie about the toxicity of modern existence with a talking dog flick? The ladies delve deep into Santa Buddies, which is a sequel (Christine claims prequel, but she’s wrong) to/spinoff of Disney’s Santa Paws/Air Buddies dynasty. Up next is Todd Haynes’ 1995 Safe, starring Julianne Moore and Patron Saint of The Femini...

Emily sits down on the Oprah couch to talk poster design with artist Mike DiGrazia. You will never look at DVD covers the same way again! Learn more about Mike’s credits here: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2563125/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1 and enjoy the interview!

We made it to the finish line, and the titan bestowing a medal upon our eggnog-stained cardigan running gear is none other than the king of Christmas, Eric Roberts? Yeah, so this is Ion’s A Husband For Christmas starring Vivica A. Fox as an overworked single gal who enters into a sham marriage so her underling can get citizenship and then, can you believe it? just might all in love. There’s a lot...

Oh boy. This one’s something. Possibly the most insulting of the bunch this year, this is a Christian Christmas movie that aired on Lifetime and hates women. Have fun!

Fasten your seatbelts: it’s going to be a…oh nevermind. Hillary Duff’s sister plays Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors and there’s no All About Eve reference in the least. Patrick Muldoon does show up to be creepy. So, you know. That.

Here it is. The possible winner of the year, Hallmark’s gooey trope killing fiesta. Much to say. Magic to be found. Enjoy.

Figure skating meets the Cozy Cardigan Christmas world and Emily is happier than Johnny Weir at a sequin factory. This one comes courtesy of the Up! Network. And Canada, of course.

We’re going OLD SKOOL with this one: 2008’s The Christmas Claus, starring Lea Thompson in the reverse part of Daphne Zuniga in A Family Thanksgiving. You can figure out the rest for yourself.

Lighten up folks: it’s Christmas. On this very holiday themed full-length non-Hallmark episode, Christine (remember her?!) hops in Emily’s sleigh as the ladies discuss Disney’s The Search for Santa Paws, a talking dog MUSICAL with more plot than Inception, and The Asylum’s Santa Claws, a, um, kitten and uptight mother film with…stuff that happens in it. Share your own thoughts on these films and m...

…and this one, if you can believe it, is about an uptight TV host who finds love, saves a small town, and learns the true meaning of Christmas. What makes this one special is that I’m almost certain Hallmark filmed the entire thing in one day. Listen to learn more.