The Feminine Critique Podcast

Once upon a time, Emily watched a lot of Christmas Hallmark movies and lived to talk way too much about it. Hopefully, the listeners lived happily enough ever after.

Is that Ned Ryerson we hear, or is ABC Family celebrating Groundhog Day early? Christine joins Emily to discuss the Amy Smart/Mark-Paul Gosselaar holiday happening, The 12 Dates of Christmas. Come for the sassiness, stay for the charm!

We sure hope you haven’t been naughty this season, because we’re about to unload more than one homicidal Santa Claus on your snowy butts. First up (well, after an extensive “what we’ve been watching that aren’t Hallmark movies” segment) is 1984’s Silent Night Deadly Night. We follow it up with the 2012 remake (of sorts). PLEASE help explain what happens in the latter. We’re apparently not smart en...

You thought Brenda was tough? Wait til you meet Jennie Garth’s corporate shark of a lead in ABC Family’s Holidaze, an ice queen so thick, it will take an entire small town and the ghost of Mark Twain (sorta) to melt her thick heart. Christine joins Emily in dissecting this 2013 classic. Play along with Netflix Instant Watch and share your thoughts on Facebook. Just don’t be as cute as Jennie Garth...

Put some money on your Metrocard and ride on in to the second solo stocking stuffer, wherein Emily discusses another anti-working woman holiday joy tale courtesy of Lifetime. This episode runs through Christmas In the City, a movie about people who once heard the word “city.” Enjoy!

Happy December folks! We’re here this week with a super special holiday edition episode where we talk to an expert on the very infinity that is Santa Claus. Naturally, what that actually means is that Infinite Santa 8000 creator Michael Neel joins us to tell us about his super groovy projects. We also team up to discuss some of our favorite seasonal television and cinematic offerings, which runs t...

Some might call those Hallmark Channel holiday movies something akin to coal in your stocking, but that doesn’t make them any less fun to talk about. Over the next month, Christine and Emily will bring you a few of these shorter episodes where we detail the common tropes of such candy cane, anti-workforce cinema. In this first installment, Emily goes solo to break down the ten common requirements...

Don’t go to sleep! They get you when you sleep! So instead, how ‘bout listening to our latest episode on 1993’s Body Snatchers and 2015’s Maggie? We promise minimum Arnold impressions but maximum talk of spaghetti tentacles. Share your thoughts over at our Facebook page but please, we ask you nicely, be sure to dustbin your shell afterwards. We like to run a clean ship.

Shine those shoes and dust off that penmanship medal! It’s time for some serious damaged blond children talk. This week, Christine and Emily go way back to the dawn of evil kid filmdom with 1956’s The Bad Seed. Fast-forward two decades and some seriously redesigned wallpaper for David Cronenberg’s The Brood. We do go deep into the ending of The Bad Seed, and go into a fair amount of detail on The...

Step up to the plate for some terrible baseball puns! This week, Emily gives Christine the best birthday present ever by making her watch movies that she has little interest in. Leading off is the Costner/Sarandon/Robbins extravaganza Bull Durham, a film that makes the grossest use of Wheaties you’ve ever seen. Up next is 1993’s The Sandlot, which has a really awesome dog. Join the conversation ov...

Cheerio ladies, gentlemen, and gov'nahs! On this especially British episode, Christine and Emily offend a nation or two with incredibly terrible accents. What else can you do when the topics are 2004’s King Arthur and 2013’s A Field In England? Share your thoughts in proper dialect over at our Facebook group. Ta-ta!

We’re such generous podcasters that this week, Christine and Emily give you not one but TWO gifts…or at least, two films called The Gift. First up is Sam Raimi’s 2000 southern psychic thriller, followed by Joel Edgerton’s directorial debut. Share your own gifts with us over on Facebook or via Twitter @femininepodcast. Just try to include your gift receipt. We’re very picky.

Crop that top and lather on your tanning oil for an extremely special episode. Thanks to the swarthy goodness of the GGtMC, Christine and Emily greet the Sleazy Summer Sexy Spectacular pod-a-thon with 1979’s eyeball popping Beyond the Darkness and 1985’s also-eyeball popping post-apocalyptic weirdness The Afterman. It’s…odd. Don’t forget to hop into that podcasting convertible and take the full-ou...

On this very special, very long episode about love, obsession, and sticky things, the ladies are joined by the one and only FozzieBare to tackle two very special films about inappropriate love. First up is 1987’s Making Mr. Right, a movie that makes us all question what exactly an android is and if one can survive on protein toothpaste. Later, they delve into the fascinating mess that was to be El...

Man oh man, did Christine and Emily cover two movies with the word “man” in its title this week! First up is Sam Raimi’s 1990 cinematic comic book Darkman, followed by the recent Best Picture winner Birdman: Or, (a really stupid long pretentious title). Also on the agenda is Christine’s love of Scary Movie 5, lots of praise for Ashley Tisdale, a whole lot of Mike Flanagan talk, and other random bi...

On this very special episode, Emily disowns Christine when she doesn’t agree that WALL-E is the greatest film of the last twenty years. It’s not quite as intense as all of that, but they do blow up the sun, Sunshine style. Watch out for cockroaches and enjoy.

Let’s face it: not all Thors can be Chris Hemsworth. Some have to settle for measly ol’ Vincent Philip D'Onofrio status, while others can soar through the annals of cinematic history via the vessel of wonderment that is Zachery Ty Bryan. Which do you prefer? Listen to Christine and Emily tackle two very different classics, 1987’s Adventures In Babysitting and 2009’s bizarro SyFy special Thor: Hamm...

Pack your best sun hat and cleaning supplies! We’re taking a trip to Stepford, CT, with a brief layover in Dark City. If you behave, maybe we’ll even stop for a tan in Shell Beach. Do you know how to get there? Hopefully our special guest host Elwood Jones of the Mad, Bad & Downright Strange Podcast will be able to navigate. After all, Christine and Emily are just useless human females! Tell them...

Grab your gun! Grab your cat! Grab your assortment of stylish cropped wigs! On this episode, Christine and Emily visit Luc Besson's 1990 La Femme Nikita and Richard Donner's 1995 Assassins. Expect lots of bad French accents, not to be confused with our smoldering Antonio Banderas accents that sound a little French. Be sure to share your opinions on the movies over at our Facebook page and remember...

Here it is, folks: our big ol’ list of our fifty favorite movies. EVER. Listen. Judge. Enjoy.

Crack open that Miller Lite and head to your nearest classy blue collar modern sexy dance bar for our latest episode, where the ladies learn a few new moves, fashion tricks, and that how the best way to snag Channing Tatum is to be absolutely miserable. First up is 1983’s cultural landmark Flashdance, the film that finally pairs figure skating to an ‘80s power ballad the way Emily has always dream...

Look in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's something that will turn you into dust/zombie/split version of yourself! These are things we learn when we tackle 1984's cult classic Night of the Comet and 2013's sci-fi experiment Coherence. Special semi-regular guest star Erica joins Emily and Christine to dig through the glory of a good shopping montage. Come share your thoughts and timeline iss...

What do you do if your father is famous for creating vaginal openings in places they don’t belong? Why, make your OWN vaginal openings in NEW places they don’t belong of course! In case you haven’t guessed, this is the Cronenberg show where the ladies tackle David’s 1996 sexy car accident extravaganza Crash and son Brandon’s 2012 Antiviral. Also, there’s some Step Up talk because OBVIOUSLY. Stop b...

Is that alien space sex glue, or is it just another episode of The Feminine Critique? Christine and Emily reunite for a Jonathan Glazer double feature, covering 2004’s Birth and 2014’s Under the Skin. It’s not quite as exciting as watching a gorilla drink a martini, but really, what is? Share your thought on our Facebook page and guys, remember: just because she’s beautiful is not a reason to succ...

Loosen that Rolex and pump some iron: it’s Christmas! On their second annual holiday spectacular, Christine and Emily get into the spirit with 1988’s action classic Die Hard and 1996’s comedic masterpiece (cough cough) Jingle All the Way. There’s also some talk about the politics involved with making hairdresser conversation. Answer a few of our burning questions over at our Facebook page, and be...