Lauren Hayes
The Examined Lives (ENM Vibes)
Welcome to an evolved "The Examined Lives" podcast! What started as a deep dive into the drama of the The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives reality show has evolved into a bold exploration of modern love, non-monogamy, and its portrayal in mainstream media. Join hosts Lauren, an ENM relationship coach and swinger, and Ben, an ex-LDS polyamorist, as they bring their unique perspectives to mainstream media’s portrayal of ethical non-monogamy. From dissecting TV shows to sharing their own insights and experiences, Lauren and Ben invite you to laugh, learn, and rethink what love can look like. Whethe...
Author
Lauren Hayes
Category
Podcast website
Latest episode
Jul 7, 2026
Where to listen?
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Episodes
Down to Feel Good St. Louis 07.07.2026 38:57
Send us Fan Mail Lauren and Ben return with a deep dive into HBO Max's DTF St. Louis - a weatherman, a case of peyronies, and a friendship intimate enough to be its own subplot. Is it a show about ethical non-monogamy? Not exactly. Infidelity is doing a lot of the heavy lifting here, but is it sex positive? Weirdly, mostly yes. Lauren and Ben work through where the line is between "ethic...
She’s Gotta Have It — and So Do We 10.11.2025 37:38
Send us Fan Mail Ben and Lauren kick off this week’s episode with a few spicy tales from her latest swinger shenanigans at a lifestyle resort- because why ease in when you can dive right in? It’s late October, which means it’s officially Swinger Christmas (aka Halloween), so the party-talk begins. From there, they turn their attention to She’s Gotta Have It (2017), the bold, unapologetic series ab...
Splitsville: Comedy Win, ENM Fail 22.09.2025 23:21
Send us Fan Mail Lauren and Ben dive into Splitsville —the gloriously unhinged new movie where a handjob-fueled car crash leads to divorce, an “open marriage circus,” and a bro-fight so long it could’ve had intermission popcorn. Lauren actually saw the whole film (so you don’t necessarily have to), while Ben only managed the trailer—though that doesn’t stop him from handing out hot takes and wishi...
Trigonometry & the Awkward Art of Adding a Third 12.09.2025 29:07
Send us Fan Mail Lauren and Ben kick off with Ben's hilariously mundane life updates - school stress and parties - while Lauren reveals about her French nudist swinger village jaunt, where badges are mandatory but clothing is not. This episode covers everything from unicorn cakes to awkward throuple jealousy. They dissect "Trigonometry," a slow-burn British gem where a couple accid...
Season 2 Trailer: The Examined Lives (ENM Vibes) has Evolved (as everyone should) 08.09.2025 1:36
Send us Fan Mail We started out as a reaction podcast to The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives because we haaaate it when our community is represented by those who know nothing about our community. Well, we were fooled by the click-bait, and it had little to do with our community. Ben and I pivoted and now we review shows with ENM themes. We review them and discuss how ENM is portrayed...and if the sh...
Dying for Sex (and Lasagna) 04.08.2025 29:26
Send us Fan Mail One host just got back from a 2500-couple sex convention. The other is sleepy by 11 PM. Let the games begin. Lauren and Ben tackle the profound TV show Dying for Sex. But not before they workshop the best story for a sprained finger. The whole thing descends into anarchy when Lauren realizes she missed the episode with all the kink, leaving Ben to explain dom/sub dynamics, dick-ki...
Compersion Season 2: ENM & The How Not To 07.07.2025 30:28
Send us Fan Mail Fresh from the dusty desert plains of a Burning Man-esque festival, a sleepy Lauren and Ben kick things off with tales of naked bike rides, spanking vs. stomach-raspberries (you'll have to listen to find out who chose what), and a goddess statue with vape-juice teats. Then, they dive into the final season of "Compersion," a show with a plot so bonkers it leaves Ben...
Compersion Season 1: A (kinda) Cautionary Tale 03.06.2025 27:05
Send us Fan Mail Lauren kicks things off by humbling Ben’s enthusiasm—turns out she’s not soooo good, just “regular good.” From there, they dive into a lively pre-show chat that includes music festival misadventures and an unfiltered look at Lauren’s “Sacred Sluts” project. Then it's time for a no-holds-barred breakdown of Compersion Season 1: morning-after mishaps, questionable partner choic...
A Love Story: A Professor, a Triad and a Super Hero 05.05.2025 25:27
Send us Fan Mail Lauren and Ben trip over pleasantries straight into naked hot tubs, Tropicana slander, and the dread of floppy poolside antics. On this episode they dissect a movie about a polyamorous relationship (in the 20's!) and Wonder Woman's kinky origins. Professor Marston and the Wonder Women gets a solid review, along with plenty of made-up speculation. There are tangents on po...
Wanderlust, Winding Through ENM, & Wasted Ski Days 01.04.2025 33:12
Send us Fan Mail Lauren’s fresh off a very successful swingers’ trip (tan lines included!), while Ben’s still mourning a flat tire that ruined his ski plans. Ouch! They dissect Netflix’s Wanderlust, calling out TV’s obsession with simultaneous orgasms and the awkwardness of meeting your partner's other partners. The conversation takes a heartfelt turn as they discuss the complexities of telli...
Wanderlust is Not a Bust 07.03.2025 30:15
Send us Fan Mail Tune into "Examined Lives " where Lauren, the Swinging Lifestyle Coach, and her friend Ben dissect Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) in pop culture. This week, they discuss BBC's (now seen on Netflix) "Wanderlust", where a couple messily cheats their way into non-monogamy. They debate infidelity-as-a-gateway to non-monogamy, the perils of office masturbation (in...
Couple to Throuple Again and Part II 04.02.2025 33:46
Send us Fan Mail Lauren and Ben are back with their review and commentary on the rest of the Peacock series, Couple to Throuple. They'll break down the pairings, the swaps, and everything in between. Expect some drama, some laughs, maybe even a few tears—and of course, they’ll share their favorite contestants. Plus, stick around till the end for a fresh and funny take on the term compersio...
Three's Company: Love, Drama, and Boundaries on Couple to Throuple 01.01.2025 29:26
Send us Fan Mail If you’ve ever wondered what happens when The Bachelor meets ethical non-monogamy (ENM), here it is. Lauren and Ben dive into Couple to Throuple, the Peacock reality show that’s equal parts fascinating, cringe, and surprisingly educational. Spoiler: It’s not just about threesomes—it’s about feelings, boundaries, and the emotional ride of adding a third to your relationship. STD...
Easy Does It: Open Marriage Gets Real on the Small Screen 26.11.2024 30:54
Send us Fan Mail Lauren and Ben are back with a fresh take on their podcast! Say goodbye to Mormon wife drama and hello to a spicier exploration of non-monogamy in mainstream media. In this episode, they dive into Netflix's "Easy," following the adventures (and misadventures) of Andy and Kyle - a power couple testing the waters of open marriage. Our hosts break down the show&apos...
Topless Tastings & The ‘Book of Rumors’ Season Send-Off 01.11.2024 28:37
Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Ben shares his experience at a body-positive, topless whiskey-tasting party, and Lauren recounts a comedy competition where swinging humor sparked mixed reactions—and some unexpected misunderstandings. With Halloween, aka “Swingers’ Christmas,” approaching, Lauren and Ben discuss their costume collections and themed parties. They recap The Secret Lives of Mormon W...
We are Not in Utah Anymore 28.10.2024 25:14
Send us Fan Mail Listen in as Lauren and Ben talk about episode 7 of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, which all takes place in Sin City. The women are getting along better than ever (sans Whitney) but now the husband and boyfriend cause most of the drama. Sexy male strippers & gambling are the backdrop, and we’ll discuss oily bodies, toxic monogamy & relationship and also the question of...
Peach on the Beach and Cream Colored Jeans (E6) 18.10.2024 28:33
Send us Fan Mail In this spicy episode Lauren and Ben discuss labiaplasty, why no one does paintings of balls and whether rubbing oil on a Chippendale's chest will keep you out of (Mormon) heaven. Speaking of heaven, Ben describes the Mormon afterlife and spoiler alert: the most obedient people still might get to have sex. STD Hero : or use coupon code Lauren10 at checkout. Retreats: https:/...
Book of Broken Friendships 10.10.2024 36:57
Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Lauren and Ben discuss friendship, ENM, stress, conflict and soda shops. While this episode focuses on the fracturing of the #MomTok gang, we discuss vulnerability and a different way to look at their conflict . We'll also discuss some Words of Wisdom in ENM / The Lifestyle as well as more on the LDS church. As always, join them for fun, silliness and a bit...
Garments, Drama, and Oh Boy, the Truth Box! (E4) 03.10.2024 27:37
Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Lauren and Ben discuss Episode 4 of 'The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives', sharing their personal updates before diving into THE key event, the “sh*t show” of the birthday celebration weekend. Ben educates us on the history and current use of Mormon garments, inspired by their favorite quote “Can we Door Dash garments?” The Truth Box serves its purpose at t...
Saints & Sinners - The Big Divide 26.09.2024 53:16
Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Lauren and Ben discuss Episode 3 of 'The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives', sharing their personal updates before diving into key events such as a potluck confrontation, a controversial graduation party, and the impact of breaking community norms. They provide insights into Mormon culture, including health codes and gender roles, and compare these to norms w...
Seeking Pleasure Can Get Out of Hand 19.09.2024 48:38
Send us Fan Mail Lauren and Ben discuss the complexities of episode two from the series 'The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.' This episode, recorded 11 months post-Taylor's arrest, features Taylor's baby shower as a focal point. The hosts examine themes including the empowerment of women as breadwinners, the impact of swinging on their brands, and the pervasive shame surrounding...
The First Look at The First Book of Taylor 12.09.2024 41:47
Send us Fan Mail In the inaugural episode of The Examined Lives of the Secret Wives , hosts Lauren and Ben dive into their review of the reality show The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives through the lens of ethical non-monogamy. Lauren, a swinger, and Ben, who is polyamorous, set the stage by introducing themselves and sharing their frustrations with how the media often misrepresents their communities...
Introducing: The Examined Lives of the Secret Wives! 10.09.2024 1:36
Send us Fan Mail Join Lauren Hayes, your Swinging Lifestyle Coach and expert in ethical non-monogamy, alongside her co-host Ben, an ex-LDS polyamorous friend, as they dive into the reality TV show The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives . Together, they peel back the curtain on how the show portrays relationships, particularly in the LDS and swinger communities. Lauren and Ben take on each episode, discu...
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