The Divine House Reads the Divine Comedy

The title says it all. OMG. Brunetto Latini, aka Dante's teacher whom we misnamed in the first episode, is HERE! It's a cute reunion, but Virgil gets his toga in a twist because *he* is Dante's teacher now. We conclude that Virgil is annoying, and Purgatory is probably the only place in the afterlife where sex would be fun. 

Blasphemy! Fireflakes! Rivers! Oh my! Also, the Old Man of Crete, who is just one wet wet dude.  This one confirms once again that are definitely going to hell. 

CONTENT WARNING: This is Dante's canto about suicide. There are also trees.  [FOR U.S. LISTENERS: If you are having thoughts of suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) or go to SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for a list of additional resources.] [FOR U.K. LISTENERS: When life is difficult, Samaritans are here – day or night, 365 days a year. You can call the...

Welcome to the SEVENTH CIRCLE folks! Not gonna lie, we forgot which canto we were on. But no matter! The Minotaur is what's up, and Jesus did some serious infrastructural damage on his most recent tourist trip. Also: centaurs who may or may not be played by Pierce Brosnan; Hammurabi's Code; sparkling anthropotaurs; a river of boiling blood. Whose blood is it? Unclear.  FYI: Trent is NOT the s...

Virgil gives a VERY UNCLEAR roadmap of hell and we encounter some BAD SMELLS.  And yes, listeners, Dante does call Virgil "the sun that shines to clear a misty vision." He's such a little fanboy. It's cute but annoying.  Also featured: Pope Anastasius (no relation to Anastasia...we THINK); a circa-2003 Razor cellphone; a cold, stinky vale and lots of SCREE; make sure you bring a whistle...

The only thing of note that happens in this episode is that we get into a snitty little quarrel about the pronunciation of IMPIOUS. Also some guys speak to Dante while half-submerged in their own graves. (Are those graves on fire? Please. Don’t waste our time with these qubibles. OF COURSE THEY ARE, you impious twit. Have you learned NOTHING from Virgil’s tour so far? If it can be on fire, it...

Literally, we are all together in Dis, the city in Hell where everyone is hanging out in graves that are also on fire (fun!). Dante gets chatty with the sinners as per usual. Virgil talks about getting imprisoned by his own fanfic. The Furies are chilling and flailing. Finally Virgil pulls a Karen and calls the manager, aka....Hercules. (?!?)  This episode is also where we update you on some...

To quote ourselves in this episode, "We are not cool." In fact, as it turns out, Dante has gotten more action while in Hell than we have for all of lockdown! This is good for public health but bad for the morale of the Divine House. Dante continues to suck up to Virgil, meanwhile someone is crossing the river Styx REALLY fast, and it turns out his name is essentially Phlegm. (Phlegyas.) We ru...

OK, this was recorded DEEP in quarantine, hence our excitement at some delivery people on the road outside. FUN! Back in Hell, Dante comes across a lot of people who are greedy, rageful, and not doing so hot. Yikes. We cluck (like Plutus), and we conclude: f*&$ luck. 

We encounter the gluttons, and partake in some sketchy piano-playing, not in that order. 

OK, make sure you sacrifice to the gods properly or you might have to have your in-house inventor create a mechanical cow so your wife can have sex with a giant bull inside it! And you might end up with a huge-ass tail. Literally a huge ass-tail. With which you condemn souls in the circles of hell. <-- This is a fact-check to our analysis of Minos, because guess what, it WAS his fault that...

So we knew that Dante is obsessed with Virgil. But he really goes over the edge in this one. He even has some *secret convos* with his dead idols, including Homer, Horace, Lucan... also Orpheus is somehow hanging out with Seneca, and Dante shows some surprising cross-faith appreciation for Avicenna and Averroes. But mainly he fanboys. And we fangirl accordingly.  

The gates of hell remind us of writing our dissertations.  Other things of note:  - We can't stop laughing.  - We don't realise that these are the most famous lines of the poem.  - We enter hell.  - Charon smacks people's butts!  - Probably the most boring episode so far. 

Okay, it turns out Virgil didn't arrive totally out of nowhere... interesting. Lots of cameos from our favourite ladies, including one whose identity is a real mystery. We even had to RE-record this episode because it was so confusing! We love to see it. 

Hello and welcome to the Divine House Reads the Divine Comedy.  Gracious listeners, in this episode we embark upon a journey to the low-fi Inferno. What even is this poem? Who was Dante Alighieri? What is the Divine House? WHAT IS DIVINITY?!  These are some of the questions that we will discuss VERY deeply in this VERY serious podcast. Just two innocent grad students grappling with a 700...