The Dick Show

The Dick Show Album is released and hits #1 in ALL CATEGORIES, I have an altercation with someone else's neighbors, The Maddox IQ Test story, catching your pocket on door handles, a new working lolsuit theory, my life-threatening whale T-shirt, Peach tells us how to identify a lesbian, The Winter Cuck Olympics, Madcucks news, school shootings are not news, Sean and I get in several arguments, and...

People who ignore "The Zipper", the mystery of my broken toilet, Smiley my broken handyman, "My House" TV has turned me into a dog, Nick Rekieta calls in with some Hot Goss about Maddox's maybe two or three time DUI lawyer "Dog Bite" Kevin Landau, Asterios' Cernovich sex tape, a special erotic story for Valentine's Day, Sean learns to ride a bicycle, The Skate Mate, being on The Milo Yiannopoulos...

The bikini chicks from Ivan "Ironman" Stewart's Super Off-Road, Western Feminism intersects with Islamic Fundamentalism, eSports "practice", the "fake because", April O'Neil, the endless blue balls of waiting on a single computer part, forgetting your wallet, Jordan Petersen is Al Bundy with statistics, the time I smuggled weed into Belgium, people who see each other driving when they're driving,...

The Ultimate Douchebag Machine, Acting!, Small Time Tyrants, Dexter meets The Gimp, Coach is pregnant, a mob of angry Q's from Google target Nick Rekieta, The 2018 "Be More F-able" Challenge, Smeagol in bed, what Lettuce Jones missed the most in jail, the buying power of Dickels, Negasterios calls in, Stephen Universe is Degenerate: Part 2, Layc's Singled Out, and advice for the guy who couldn't g...

Yoga pants vs. bustles, NSFW: a pitch for the mutually beneficial segregation of men and women, "content" ruined the Internet, man's endless quest to escape the mob, "Steven Universe" is degenerate, The Women's March, oddguy from Encyclopedia Dramatica calls in with a lolsuit of their own, a school shooting gone wrong, my erotic pallet of familial Jungian archetypes, children singing obscene songs...

Katt Williams chews out Asterios for his $600 invoice, "The Fountainhead" and making furniture with my dad, a "hehe" laugh track, women and Mario Kart, Justin Rupple does impressions in bed, more information on the "Heather" fiasco, getting vicariously rejected, Adam P'nache: Cajun Attorney, who hates swearing, "You're Welcome (For the Snacks)" by Myroom Records, Webber Shandwick puts me on blast,...

Weed should be illegal again, Count Dankula calls in with a fuckery update, Denzel gets cramps, Nick Rekieta goes over Asterios' lolsuit defense and defines defaming, Scotland brings the dumbest asshole in the world out of retirement, an erotic story of an attempted ravishment, The Dick Show Album draws near, the world's wiggliest dildo, Road Rage: Portland is confirmed, I fix Dredd in a new Dickt...

#NotMyShower, Policing Language of Dehumanization, The Waut3rgate Leaks: Part II, unbelievable loading spinners, Maddox's Christmas Lights, 10-round magazines, exact change, manipulative popups, a reimagining of Aeosp's Fables, Don't Walk...Run, "hehe", megalomania, destroying small businesses, and Dickles; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Yawn Police, post-seasonal regret, lies on Tinder, getting to first base with an alien, universal habitat for humanity, how to handle your gentleman's sausage in space, how to have sex in space suits, Antarctica's semen policy, sour grapes, Madcucks' invoice, Asterios' new lolsuit, and ordering oatmeal at a fancy restaurant; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Office Christmas party disasters, Asterios defends his $600 invoice, email auto-responders, the Pope embarrasses himself again, Star Wars is not Star Wars, Net Nuetrality [sic], Cracked calls me the face of "conservative comedy", Jamie's outsourced news segment, Jesus, Lost Legos, many bing bong remixes, $5 oil fights, new Christmas traditions, and the Race War; all that and more this week on The...

Asterios tops the Billboard music charts for the second time this year, VERY FAKE NEWS CNN attacks me with violent alt-left phraseology, Kian likes Malort, my YMCA reboot, Eastern fetishization and the night of ten thousand bing bongs, my unstoppable Magic: The Gathering deck, Asterios' $600 invoice, how to properly follow police instructions, the great Madbux buy out, things I am advised not to s...

Christmas lights and looking at Christmas lights, furries vs. cat ladies vs. cat cafes, Coach's $61.00 invoice, Road Rage: Chicago and the minds blown therein, "Thank You" cards, self-identification of hardness, Kimball vs. Peach: the Cuckening, short privilege, many NSFW rants, Braveheart II: The Patriot, my drunk driving self-driving car app, and throwing up in Jujutsu class; all that and more t...

My legal dream team, not helping someone up when they're down, Madcucks reads his own version of the letter, Carmen Mandiego, flu shots are a scam, falling off a child's bicycle ramp, Larry doesn't wax-off at his TNS Dojo--if you know what I'm talking about, Bitcoin retirement homes, silicone ice trays, Ken White sends out the Popehat signal and despises me, a keen eye for Morlocks branding, I tra...

The LOLSUITs against me build on multiple fronts, I find a smoking gun for the first biggest mistake in the universe, Sean and I attempt to imagine the unimaginable, wearing jeans at the beach with no underwear, having to poop while you're camping, Peach sends in a jass number, the file-a-lawsuit kit, using fancy words to show off, paying half attention, Mister Metokur makes a video about the lols...

Implicit and explicit misogyny, I am wrong several times, dopamine and talking about doing things but not doing them, I grade Louis CK's sexual harassment apology, getting negged about the show, antics at a smash room, Diego saves Chicago, Peach gets erased from a Maddox video, Adam Panache calls in with a Cajun meme game, a caller who went to an SJW church, Peach has a problem with me, The Dick S...

The Ballad of LA Phil, Cab Calloway's corpse and the Chicago scat man championships, John Stamos is a terrible singer, Cupboards are a scam, Boneitis draws my fursona, the Great Pyramid according to Bill Guy, how to flip eggs over easy, Kevin Spacey puts a stop to a pretend female president, Madame Nash calls in with a meme-based game--and then calls back again to complain about it, some facts abo...

Banned from Twitter, shoulder nipples on leather jackets, corporate birthday wishes, Randy's too-hard high-fives, Coach builds a step, internalizing authority, Adam Nash calls in, how to eat a cinderblock, modern infomercials, my new cereal, a DickHead in the publishing industry, Blaire Witch urinal positions, and Bitcoins; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

"F*ck Whales" bombs, the economics of publishing, #MeToo Musical Chairs, a sure-fire fix for power-tripping policemen, Crocodile Dundude hunts the Australian Internet Outback for book sales, Madcucks returns for Road Rage: Chicago, shutting down crosswalks for children, several songs about cucks, cutesy error messages, the Lena Dunham meme hero, the trans Playboy issue, blurring lines, misremember...

Road Rage: Los Angeles, the Boy Scouts' new crappy merit badges, upgraded security measures, the time Sean and I triggered an overly protective father, promise rings, Bill Guy the Science Dude takes questions, Demolition Man trivia, DIY Sisyphus and the endless Home Depot trip, the purpose of sphincters, building stairs, man-scratching posts, the precariousness of the 19th amendment, fistfights at...

Gun Week, Shark Week, GIF vs. JIF, why everything is "toxic", give me a hobby or give me death, the gratuitous lols of online creeps, Schrödinger's Racist, not taking chick sports reporters seriously enough, a flowchart of crappy gun arguments, the time I got Harvey Weinerstein'ed, Bill Guy the Science Dude is back, the lackluster money shot of a Rick and Morty finale, the Wheel of Fortune Nationa...

The season of obligations begins, I send Peach to the hospital, being a ghost vs. being a man, a libertarian haunted house, an apology cryptocurrency, front-of-the-line passes, Japanese suicide phones, men holding hands under any circumstance, the Sean hentai challenge, my Rick and Morty prediction, Lowtax gets banned from Twitter, Sean's secret Instagram account, a shocking revelation by Peach th...

"What have you been up to?", soft water, the National Anthem and the un-skippable cut scene, defending a woman's honor, Mr. Fancypants does a bad job pitching his novel, Denzel songs, Asterios vs. Madcucks, the Dick Show calendar, life in low-definition, High School Musicals, Facebook News, Christian Ronaldo fighting muggers, Lacy's non-existent ideal man, and the crisis of leverage; all that and...

The scourge of phony lollers, real life cupcake wars, sex vs. a hangover, picky garbage men, DateDickShowLawyer@gmail.com gets a hit, the slow death, the kid with better stuff than you, Sam Hyde's War on Pornography, several musical tributes to Sean's D, condensation and condescension, organic comedy supplements, Choose Your Own Adventure books, Goss Squad interviews Asterios Kokkinos, Asterios' S...

Modern church and the devil of incompetence, the volume box on your iPhone, Sean's Dingus Fantasy Football Team, people who throw beachballs over the side at baseball games, putting an end to that Ed Sheeran song, girls who are worried about looking "too buff", drunk time traveling, gay detecting computers in the Middle East, Madcucks-gestions on how to interview, auto-playing news videos, custome...

Sean's performance review/birthday, ROAD RAGE: LOS ANGELES, fire alarms make me wish I was burning to death, Rocketman and asteroid mining, Steve Hofstetter, comedian pilots, airport bean bags, I don't know what is a parsec, Asterios' alt-right business ideas, Hazencruz's fat girls on Tinder song, package thieves and Jokey Smurf, The Indiana Jones Leather Man BAG network, Trump Sci-Fi, an acceptab...