The Deeper Love Podcast: For the Woman Healing After Betraying Someone She Loved

The year after I told my then-husband I'd been unfaithful to him was the hardest year of my life. I pray to God I never experience a year harder than that. I don't think anyone talks about that year enough, because the moment the truth comes out feels like an explosion, but what comes after is total devastation. And it is so hard to navigate. In this episode I'm going deep into that ye...

Seven years ago, I would have rolled my eyes at everything in this episode. I thought crystals were bollocks. I thought energy healing was bollocks. I thought past lives were definitely bollocks. I was a rational, logical, practical TV executive, and nobody could have convinced me otherwise. And then my life imploded, and I got desperate. And desperate women do things they never thought they'd...

I want to take you back to 2019. Sat in Homerton Hospital, in the fertility department with my then husband next to me. Signing the consent forms for IVF. And the whole time, I was carrying the secret that I had been unfaithful to him. That moment, I can see now, contained the whole story. Because I was sitting there trying to create life whilst being completely disconnected from my own. The irreg...

Everyone talks about the moment the affair comes out. Nobody talks about what happens next. In this episode, I'm going inside the year that broke me far more than the affair itself - the year I spent trying to repair, trying to make it right, and completely disappearing in the process. Because here's what I know now that I didn't know then: telling the truth was not the lowest point. T...

Six years ago, I genuinely didn't know if I wanted to keep living. The shame of what I had done felt unbearable. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't be present, and I couldn't imagine a future where I felt okay again. And yet today, I'm sitting behind a microphone telling that story publicly. So what happened? How did I get from there to here? Because I can tell you, it wasn't time. It wasn't un...

For two years after the affair, I told no one. Not my husband. Not the friends I’d call sisters, the ones who’d held me through my own heartbreak years earlier. I sat at New Year’s parties and weddings and birthdays, keeping it light, breezy, fine. And inside, I was dying. Dying of shame. Dying of guilt. Dying of the fear that if anyone really saw me, they’d stop loving me. In this episode, I talk...

Why is a podcast about healing after betrayal is called The Deeper Love Podcast . In this episode, I'm answering that. At my core, I believe the detonation that an affair brings to your life can absolutely become the portal to the deepest love of your life. You don’t have to leave your husband, but you do have to be willing to face and heal the story that has been running your life, way before...

You probably know what it feels like to live two lives at once. The one that everyone can see - where you're capable, together, achieving, holding it all together. And the one underneath, where you feel lonely, disconnected, asking yourself, is this it? Where you stopped being desired. Stopped being seen as anything other than the wife, the mother, the high-flying executive, the one that doesn...

A lot of women think accountability means suffering. That if you punish yourself long enough… if you accept enough rage… if you hand over every detail… if you shrink yourself into the smallest, most “perfect” version of you… then maybe you’ll finally have paid for what you did. But punishment isn’t the same as accountability. In this episode, Alex responds to a question she hears often: “Are you l...

In this raw, deeply human conversation, Alex is joined by Hope Manzano: Mum, entrepreneur and content creator who shares publicly about her affair online. It is rare to find another woman who is willing to stand up and say I made a mistake too, and in this episode, Hope shares the real story behind her affair - there was no abuse, or unbearable arguments, but instead a perfect looking marriage on...

There’s a very specific type of woman who cheats. And it’s not who people think. It’s often the good girl. The high achiever. The strong one. The reliable one. The woman everyone trusts, everyone leans on, the one who has spent her whole life trying to get it right. So when an affair happens, it doesn’t just break the relationship. It breaks her identity. Because now she isn’t only dealing with gu...

After an affair, so much of the focus goes onto the relationship, the guilt, the affair partner or trying to understand exactly what went wrong. But in this episode, Alex goes somewhere deeper. She explores the pattern that was often running long before the affair ever happened: self-betrayal . This is the quiet, cumulative way so many women abandon their truth over years. Staying silent when some...

In this powerful guest episode of the Deeper Love Podcast , Alex is joined by relationship coach Monica Tanner to explore one of the hardest truths in love: you can love someone and still hurt them. Together, they unpack the deeper dynamics beneath betrayal, infidelity, resentment, emotional disconnection, and what it really takes to repair a relationship after trust has been broken. This is an ho...

After an affair, so many women become terrified of making the wrong decision. Not just the big decisions, like whether to stay or leave, whether to tell the truth, or whether to try again. But the everyday ones too. What to say. Whether to reach out or pull back. Whether to trust what they feel or second guess it. In this episode, Alex explores why that paralysis happens and what is really sitting...

So many women come into this work already understanding a lot. They know their patterns. They can see what was missing in the marriage. They may even understand how childhood shaped the way they learned to relate, love and abandon themselves. And yet they still wake up feeling heavy. Ashamed. Tight in the chest. Unable to relax. Unable to trust themselves. In this episode, Alex explores why insigh...

Many women tell me the same thing after the affair ends: “I just want to feel like myself again.” And if you’re in the aftermath right now, it can genuinely feel as though the affair is the thing that did this to you. As though the shame began the moment it ended, or the moment the truth came out. But in this episode, I explore something I see again and again with the women I work with (and experi...

There’s a real split I see with so many women post affair. You miss him, and you hate that you miss him. You know he cannot give you the life you ultimately want. You’re trying to repair your primary relationship, trying to be responsible, trying to move forward. And yet, there is still a pull - sometimes overwhelmingly - toward the person who made you feel something you hadn’t felt in a very long...

What if betrayal isn’t just a relationship issue, but a nervous system event? In this episode of The Deeper Love Podcast , I’m joined by hypnotherapist and life coach Peter McLaughlin for a powerful conversation about the subconscious patterns, shame, and trauma responses that sit underneath infidelity. Peter’s own healing journey began after a life-altering leukemia diagnosis in 2003, an experien...

Almost every woman I work with says the same thing: “In the affair, I felt alive.” What’s striking is that she rarely talks about the person. She talks about herself, how she felt. Confident. Desired. Chosen. Awake. And then comes the shame, not just for what she did, but for liking it. In this episode, I explore the possibility that the affair didn’t create aliveness at all. It exposed what was a...

After an affair, there is the rupture itself, and then there is what comes after. The part no one really talks about, the months or years of living inside what you’ve done. The self-surveillance. The guilt. The fear. The loss of who you thought you were. In this episode, I speak honestly about the internal experience of living with the aftermath of my betrayal. The tension in my body, the pain in...

If you've ever found yourself thinking “I've done the therapy, I’ve read the books, I know why it happened… so why do I still feel so stuck?” , this episode is going to meet you right there. In this conversation, I’m unpacking the difference between understanding something and actually feeling different. Because when it comes to betrayal, the healing isn’t just in the mind, it lives in the body. A...

In the aftermath of an affair, shame can become relentless. It tells you that if you punish yourself enough, make yourself disappear, hate yourself more, you’ll finally make things right. That’s how you’ll become trustworthy again and undo the damage, right? But shame doesn’t heal. In fact, it does the opposite. It pulls us deeper into the mud. In this episode, I speak directly to the woman who is...

There are seasons in life where everything feels heavy, grey and lifeless. Where it feels like nothing is going well, nothing is blooming, and nothing makes sense anymore. If you’re in the aftermath of an affair, this is exactly how it can feel. Relationships start to shift. Certainty of the future disappears. And the emotions feel big, hard and bleak. And all you want is for this part to be over....

You can see your patterns. You know your wound. You’ve read the books. You’ve talked, journaled, cried, processed. So why do you still find yourself magnetised toward affairs or people who can’t fully choose you? In this episode, I’m taking you deep into the subconscious patterns that keep us chasing love in all the wrong places, even when we know better .Because insight alone isn’t enough. And if...

When we talk about affairs, the conversation almost always fixates on the affair itself - the morality of it, the damage it causes, and the question of who is to blame. But what if that narrow focus is actually preventing us from seeing something far deeper? In this episode, I explore a truth that many women quietly recognise but rarely feel allowed to say out loud: that an affair is often not abo...