The Deep Resilience Podcast

Living with someone who is constantly criticising, berating, and judging you is exhausting, demoralising and breeds a sense of tension and uneasiness within the home. The same can be said for what might be called our true home, the one we carry with us everywhere: our mind. Many of us endure constant feelings of unworthiness, stress and inner struggle fueled by a harsh inner critic, i.e., the wors...

The power of the human mind is a double-edged sword. It enables us to plan, solve problems, create goals and work towards them, but its dark side tends to haunt our inner world with self-criticism, ruminations and worries. For many of us, that voice inside can become our own worst enemy, crushing our self-esteem and fuelling constant stress, negativity or anxiety. Thankfully, we don’t have to get...

We all have a natural yearning to be understood, but effective communication requires mutual understanding. In our efforts to convey our point of view or form the perfect response, we often miss the opportunity to see another perspective, and create a defensive environment that is ripe for misunderstandings, distrust and resentments. Steven Covey offers a valuable remedy in The Seven Habits of Hig...

Shame and guilt, often used interchangeably, are different experiences with distinct effects. Guilt, the feeling we get when we’ve done something wrong, is adaptive and helpful, prompting discomfort when our actions contradict our values and facilitating self-reflection and restitution. Shame, on the other hand, is the feeling that we are what’s wrong, that we are unworthy, bad or broken. It offer...

Moments of perfection in our lives, whether a life-changing sunset or an unforgettable kiss, are often intruded by a common thought: “I wish this moment could last forever.” Though it’s natural to want to hold on to the things that bring us peace, joy or wonder, true enjoyment is hindered when we cling to the desire for things to remain as they are. Clinging, unlike healthy desire, involves grippi...

When we encounter stress, our bodies instinctively enter the fight-or-flight mode. This evolutionary mechanism, enabling us to fight, fly or freeze in the face of danger, was an essential survival tool for our hunter-gatherer ancestors. But in today's fast-paced world, our lives occupied with busy schedules, personal challenges and global crises, we tend to experience persistent and prolonged tens...

Assigning blame is a natural response when we face adversity, hurt or disappointment. According to research professor, author and speaker Brené Brown, it’s how we discharge anger, discomfort and pain. While pointing the finger might be easy or even our first instinct when we feel wronged, its inverse relationship with accountability is fundamentally disempowering, serving to undermine our res...

The human mind is wired to prefer information that supports our existing beliefs and reject that which goes against them, otherwise known as confirmation bias. It doesn’t matter how rational, open-minded or fact-driven we are; it’s a natural tendency made more potent by deeply-ingrained or emotionally-charged views which can prevail even over clear, definitive data, leading to significant misjudge...

For a lot of us, showing compassion to others comes as second nature. We readily offer words of support, encouragement and reassurance to the people around us, strangers and friends alike, but how many of us can say we extend ourselves the same grace? Where does all of that kindness go when it’s our failure, our mistake, our setback? When we let our inner critic take the wheel, we often become our...

Whether it’s an insensitive comment or a larger betrayal, we’ve all been hurt by the words or actions of others. Regardless of the cause - be it a mistake, misunderstanding, or genuine ill-will - the resulting pain we feel is real, and we often find ourselves ruminating, fanning the flames of resentment and anger, and keeping the heartache alive. There’s not much we can do to avoid differences, di...

Each of us has an inherent power to make a difference in the world around us, a power that is all too easy to forget. Bombarded with a seemingly endless cycle of catastrophic news, a kind word or good deed here and there might feel like a drop in the ocean. We've probably all heard something along the lines of "if it makes a difference to just one person, it matters," and there's a reason this sen...

When things are left messy, unanswered or unresolved, we often find ourselves longing for closure, some magical process through which we can wrap everything up in a neat little package, feel better and move on. What makes closure so elusive, though, is that we’re often seeking it from another person, maybe in the form of an apology, an explanation or a goodbye. We feel dependent upon someone else&...

If you tuned in last week, you know the importance of difficult conversations; they’re essential to the health of your relationships, your own mental wellbeing, and for driving change on a larger scale. But even with the guidance of my four-step framework, without proper preparation, we may find ourselves approaching these situations with a negative attitude, obscurity of purpose or hidden motive,...

Have you ever avoided having a difficult conversation with a friend, colleague or partner? If you have, you might already know how harmful it can be, both to yourself and the relationship. Whether it’s a small annoyance or major issue, leaving things unaddressed can breed resentment, enable toxic and harmful behaviour, and cause relationships to fall apart. Beyond personal issues, avoiding the har...

Periods of calm, quiet and tranquillity present excellent opportunities to recharge, deepen our mental strength practice and connect with profound states of peace, but it is out in the ‘real world’ where these skills are really put to work. Even the most spiritually accomplished of us, the most skilled meditators, the most revered teachers can become triggered or overcome by a strong emotional res...

With the ability to connect on a global scale came the ability to compare ourselves to more people in more ways than ever before, and despite the confidence and seeming perfection so often portrayed on social media, we’re all born with the same two primal fears: the fear that we are not worthy and, consequently, the fear that we won’t be loved. The presence of these fears alone may seem to confirm...

Sometimes, a simple insight can make a world of difference. You may have heard the old adage, “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” Well, it’s true. We so often create unnecessary suffering, stress and struggle for ourselves by piling on and becoming stuck in unhelpful thoughts and emotional reactivity. But the idea that we can merely choose to eradicate suffering in our lives can be as...

As we move through life, we constantly and often unconsciously jump to conclusions about the world and people around us. Influenced by our past experience, we make assumptions and draw inferences, attaching stories that support our brain’s built-in negativity bias over the objective reality of a situation. This seemingly small, reflexive mental habit can lead to misunderstanding, conflict and gene...

As we build our mental strength, thoughts or situations may still arise that trigger emotional reactions so intense we feel out of control and unable to think or behave rationally. Discouraging as they may be, these moments, when we most need to find our centre and be present, are opportunities to really put our mental strength to the test. When our awareness and objectivity are hijacked by strong...

Many of us are disconnected from the awareness of our oneness with nature. Preoccupied with the demands and activity of daily life, it’s easy for our sense of being to become divorced from the natural world, leaving us divorced, also, from our sense of belonging. The notion that we are separate from nature, rather than part of it, can cause feelings of meaninglessness and isolation, a kind of exis...

We all experience anger at times, and though we may have been taught that it’s inherently bad or toxic, anger is actually an important, healthy and valuable emotion; it tells us when something we care about is under attack and mobilises the body to take action. It’s our expression of this anger, or lack thereof, that can be problematic. Whether we’re prone to lashing out or bottling up, shifting t...

You’re probably familiar with the Buddha quote “Whatever one frequently ponders, that becomes the inclination of the mind,” a concept now backed by neuroscience. ‘Neuroplasticity’ refers to the ability of the mind to both form and transform neural pathways. One obvious example could be driving a car; eventually, the neural pathways grow so strong it becomes almost automatic. Similarly, when those...

Whether we’re juggling high-pressure careers, bustling families or the pressures of global uncertainty and constant technological change, stress has become a near-constant in most of our lives, and this can make prioritising self-care a real challenge. Even if we manage to carve out a moment here and there, guilt may creep up, and we start to see the things that bring us pleasure and peace as opti...

Do you find yourself buying into limiting thoughts and beliefs that weigh you down? Maybe you’ve been trying to block them or push them away, but they keep popping back up. Unhelpful and untrue thoughts can take up a lot of space in our minds, especially when we’re navigating difficult times, and, left unchecked, we can become attached to these narratives and let them pull us into emotional reacti...

Do you ever beat yourself up over how much money is in your bank account? Maybe you spiral into worry or self-doubt when a potential partner doesn’t get back to you about a date?  These situations could be examples of prioritising stories over facts.   If you’re left with $2, maybe you sit thinking about how you’re terrible with money and you’ll always struggle when, the simple fact...