The D. Tales with Allison Kahler

Today's conversation with psychedelic-assisted therapist Dr. Nick Brüss explores why divorce activates our most protective parts — rage, blame, the inner critic — and how healing comes from turning toward them rather than numbing them, with or without psychedelics. In this episode: Why "this is your brain on drugs" gets psychedelics backwards — what psychedelic-assisted therapy really does is help...

Today's conversation with Olivia Howell, CEO and co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry, is about what it actually takes to begin again after divorce, why the hardest part isn't replacing what you lost, and why no one should have to start fresh alone. In this episode: The toothbrush holder that changed everything — how one small, ordinary object became Olivia's permission to claim a new life: "this i...

Sparked by the cultural firestorm around Belle Burden's “Strangers,” today's conversation with matrimonial attorney and CDFA Lisa Zeiderman opens up the talk we avoid: prenups, postnups, and why the most loving move is having the hard money conversation before you need it. In this episode: What Belle Burden's “Strangers” teaches about financial blindness — and the choices we make out of love Who a...

In this solo episode, I'm spilling the tea on my own adventures in dating after divorce — approximately 27 first dates, 3 pseudo-relationships, 1 situationship, and the 5 lessons it's taught me so far. In this episode: Why this episode felt scarier to record than my divorce stories — recording from the "messy middle" while I'm still living it The early days: electric first kisses, my 3-date curse,...

After 25 years of marriage, Lisa Madsen's body "woke up" — and everything she thought she knew about love, marriage, and who she was came up for question. This is a story about coming out later in life, choosing to stay married while building a life with someone new, and discovering that when it comes to marriage, divorce, and family, there are no rules — you get to make them up. In this episode:...

Today's conversation with financial advisor and CDFA® Leah Hadley explores what it looks like to rebuild a relationship with money that supports the life you actually want — especially during divorce, when financial anxiety and avoidance can take over. In this episode: Why divorce creates a real cash-flow shock at every income level — the same income suddenly has to support two households The 6 pi...

Today’s conversation with holistic performance coach Dr. Brian Paris explores why loneliness isn’t the same thing as being alone — and how coming back to yourself changes everything about how you move through divorce, co-parenting, and love. In this episode: How Brian’s post-divorce loneliness revealed a deeper fear — “will I be alone forever?” — and what it showed him about self-connection “I mas...

This is a story about… stories. The stories we hide behind. The stories we get stuck in. The stories we tell to justify the other stories. And the honest ones that set us free — the kind that allow us to feel seen, connect with others, and unlock true intimacy. In this episode: Why the "resilience" Renee built at 6 was actually a shield — and how it shaped a marriage where neither she nor her then...

D-Day — your divorce day — can be years in the making and over in minutes. In this second "Dear Diary" solo episode, I revisit my own D-Day through the journal entries I wrote in the days before, during, and after — one of the most life-changing, yet surprisingly anticlimactic, moments of my life. In this episode: The quote I journaled on my 33rd birthday — 2 days before my divorce was finalized —...

This is the story of a woman who spent years shrinking into boxes that weren't built for her — and turned the ending of nearly everything into the beginning of a life that's finally hers. In this episode: The unbelievable synchronicity of endings — finalizing her divorce, selling her business, and parting with her longtime nanny all in a single day — and the beautiful new beginning it opened up on...

This is a story about a self-described "recovering nice guy" who spent decades outsourcing his self-worth — and how he learned that healing isn't feeling better, it's feeling everything. In this episode: How the sensitive kid underneath armored up behind toxic masculinity — and why that armor "doesn't discriminate" between what it keeps out and what it keeps in How a first separation, a cancer dia...

Today's conversation with CFP® and CDFA® Bridget Borel unpacks what divorce money fears are really about — and why it's not "how much?" but "will I be okay?" In this episode: Why a financial professional experienced helplessness and shame around the money side of her own divorce — compounded by losing her mother at the same time "Money isn't math, and math isn't money" — how this reframe changes e...

Today's conversation with licensed marriage and family therapist Shelly Stover reframes what "success" looks like in couples therapy — and explores how grief, attachment styles, and agency shape the path forward, whether that's choosing each other or choosing yourself. In this episode: Why attachment is a strategy, not a label — and how the same person can show up differently in different relation...

This is the first episode of what I'm calling "Dear Diary" — where I go back to my journals and share what I actually wrote during the hardest parts of my divorce. In this one, I revisit the contemplation years — and what I found is that I knew what I needed to do. I just didn't trust myself enough to do it. In this episode: The journal entries from early 2017 that reveal what I already knew — and...

Today's conversation with divorce attorney and mediator Mardi Chadwick-Balcom reframes divorce through the lens of the nervous system — and explores how staying regulated can change not just your experience, but also the outcomes you walk away with. In this episode: Mardi's early work in domestic violence law — and what it taught her about conflict, power, and the realities of family court Her own...

Today’s conversation with men’s coach Luke Entrup explores how divorce can become the catalyst for radical self-examination and personal transformation — and the role “conscious bachelorhood” can play in men’s healing and growth. In this episode: How a structured discernment process helped Luke and his then-wife identify their unmet needs — and determine whether they were truly capable of meeting...

This is a story about outgrowing a love that shaped you — and realizing that love alone isn’t always enough to sustain a marriage. In this episode: Meeting at age 10, marrying at 27, and divorcing at 28 — growing up inside one love story The quiet voice that said something wasn’t right — even when nothing was “wrong” Cultural expectations, faith, and the martyr mindset that made leaving feel selfi...

Today’s conversation with family law attorney and author Bree Sullivan-Howell explores what it takes to protect your future in divorce — without losing your peace or your faith in the process. In this episode: The costly mistakes people make when they sign divorce papers too quickly — and why some decisions can’t be undone What it really means to “protect your future” in divorce Why giving away yo...

This is a story about what happens when an outcomes-driven approach to love falls apart — and what emerges when you stop trying to “make it happen” and finally “let it happen” instead. In this episode: Andrea’s initial shame of being divorced twice before 40 — and the power of owning her narrative instead The disconnect between the suburban fantasy she once imagined and the more authentic, “blissf...

Today’s conversation with California attorney-mediator Melissa Farag explains why “fair” is often the wrong goal in divorce — and what actually leads to better outcomes. In this episode: How Melissa’s upbringing and her own divorce experience shaped her passion for mediation What people usually mean when they say they want a “fair” divorce — and why that goal often backfires The three phases of th...

Divorce isn’t a single event — it’s often years in the making. In this solo episode of The D. Tales , I share my story of the long, lonely years of divorce — and the shame and fear that made them so hard to talk about. In this episode: Why my divorce felt less like a single event and more like a decade-long transition How perfectionism, faith, and expectations made silence feel safer than honesty...

This is a story about the quiet ache of not feeling seen — and what it takes to find your way to being deeply chosen again. In this episode: Anna shares what it was like to marry young, grow up together, and slowly grow apart How a life that looked picture-perfect on the outside still felt lonely on the inside The moment she realized she wasn’t being seen — and couldn’t unsee it Why divorce doesn’...

Sometimes your body knows before your mind does. This is a story about listening to your body and intuition — and the permission it can take to follow what you already know. In this episode: Diana reflects on how childhood conditioning, religion, and cultural narratives shaped her understanding of love and marriage The physical and emotional warning signs she ignored — and what her body was trying...

The D. Tales with Allison Kahler is a podcast about divorce and rebuilding life on the other side — blending real divorce stories with grounded conversations with experts to help you find clarity and move forward with courage. Whether you’re quietly questioning, actively separating, or thoughtfully rebuilding, this show creates space for the questions most people carry alone — and reminds you that...