The cult.ture podcast

In this episode, Derek and Trent sit down with Brittany Hart, writer, poet, and author of Surviving Wonderland: A Journey Beyond Control. Brittany Hart is an author and poet who writes at the intersection of spiritual trauma and recovery. Her debut collection, Surviving Wonderland: A Journey Beyond Control, transforms her experience in a high-control religious group into art for anyone reclaiming...

Jeron Benton joins cult.ture to share his journey growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, becoming inactive, returning to the organization after a near-death experience, and ultimately waking up after a shocking judicial committee experience. In this conversation, Jeron opens up about being disfellowshipped after spending two years trying to return to the faith, the moment he realized the system wasn't...

In this episode of cult.ture, Derek sits down with author, speaker, and Stop the Shunning creator Bethany Leger. Raised as a Jehovah's Witness, Bethany shares her journey from questioning the organization to ultimately leaving alongside her husband. Together, they explore the emotional realities of shunning, the complexities of family estrangement, and what it means to rebuild a life after a high-...

In this episode of cult.ture pod, Derek and Trent sit down with artist, writer, and former Jehovah’s Witness Sean Miller for a raw, grounded, and deeply human conversation about life after high‑control religion. Sean grew up as a born‑in JW, the son of a respected elder, and followed the expected path of baptism at 16, auxiliary pioneering, regular pioneering, ministerial servant. But beneath the...

Audrey joins Trent and Derek to share her experience growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness and what ultimately led her to leave in 2025. In this episode, Audrey opens up about the emotional pressure of trying to live a “perfect” life inside the organization, the fear surrounding blood transfusions, purity culture, elder involvement in marriage and sexuality, conditional relationships, and the difficul...

In this episode, we sit down with Lydia, a former Jehovah’s Witness who grew up in a fourth-generation family deeply rooted in the organization. From a young age, Lydia was seen as “exemplary”, giving talks at assemblies, pioneering, and doing everything expected of her. But beneath the praise was something else: pressure, anxiety, and a growing disconnect from her own identity. We explore what it...

Ryan, host of The Truth That Heals , joins us to share his story of growing up Catholic and eventually being pulled into a high-control religious group that claimed legitimacy within the Church. What began as a calling rooted in faith turned into over a decade of control, fear, and psychological manipulation. In this episode, we explore: How spiritual language is used to recruit and control The ro...

What happens when you choose yourself… and lose everything? In this episode of cult.ture, Derek is joined by Jordan, a former Jehovah’s Witness who shares his journey of waking up and walking away from a high-control religious system. Jordan opens up about: Growing up in the Jehovah’s Witness organization Struggling with identity and sexuality inside a restrictive belief system The moment everythi...

In this episode of cult.ture, Derek and Trent sit down with Correen Hardin, author of Best Life After, to explore what life can look like after leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses. Correen shares her personal story of growing up inside the religion, the complex process of leaving, and the emotional and psychological realities that follow when someone steps outside a high-control belief system. The convers...

On this episode of cult.ture pod we sit down with Katherine Spearing the author of A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts, founder of Tears of Eden, trauma recovery coach, and survivor of the Christian patriarchy movement. Katherine grew up in a world where women were expected to move from the authority of their father to the authority of their husband. College wasn’t encouraged. Autonomy wasn’t modeled. And...

In this episode, we sit down with McKenzie and Marcell childhood friends who grew up inside Jehovah’s Witnesses, lost each other to shunning, and eventually found their way back to one another after deconstructing. Marcell shares what it was like growing up in poverty, finding “divine” love inside the organization, and fully believing it was the truth even while quietly believing he would die at A...

Stephanie spent most of her life carrying a fear she didn’t choose. Raised as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, baptized at just fourteen, and taught from early childhood that the end of the world was “right around the corner,” Stephanie grew up measuring her life in countdowns: 1914, Armageddon, obedience, and survival. Although she physically left the organization in 1998, the fear never left her. It...

In this episode, we sit down with Amy, who grew up deeply embedded in Mormonism as the daughter of a bishop and mission president. From early-morning seminary and strict behavioral rules to temple rituals that demand lifelong commitments without full consent, Amy shares what it was like to grow up inside a system that quietly governs every part of life from what you drink to how you think. Togethe...

Leo grew up Jehovah’s Witness in a home where abuse was happening and being ignored. In this conversation, Leo speaks about what it means to survive when harm is known, authority goes unquestioned, and silence is treated as righteousness. This episode explores: How religious authority can shield abusers What happens when elders “handle it internally” Dissociation, lost memory, and trauma held in t...

Jaime joins Derek and Trent to share what it was like growing up Jehovah’s Witness in a divided home never fully belonging in either world, and carrying fear long before she had words for it. Jaime talks about the slow unraveling: raising three kids inside the routine, living under constant self-monitoring, and realizing her children were afraid she might stop speaking to them if they didn’t belie...

In today’s episode of cult.ture, Derek and Trinity sit down with Devan, someone who wasn’t raised in the Jehovah’s Witnesses Faith, but still grew up inside a high-control Christian system that shaped every corner of his childhood. Devan’s early years took place deep in the Oregon woods at an isolated fundamentalist Baptist camp, where his father ran the ministry and his family lived off the land....

Abby’s story moves from love-bombing and baptized hope to grief, coercive control, boundaries, and finally freedom and family. She shares how vulnerability was targeted, why she pursued baptism after trauma, and the cost of “paper-thin comfort” in a doomsday framework. We talk stalking elders, weaponized “good example” theology, and the moment she chose safety over image. Abby also remembers her b...

Content note: Mentions religious trauma, suicide, and substance use. In the U.S., dial or text 988 for support. Derek and Trinity welcome back Dustin Jetmore for a raw check-in since disassociating from Jehovah’s Witnesses (letter July 4, announcement July 10). We revisit the 2019 Love Never Fails convention, Derek’s last through the moment the veil lifts: choreographed “love,” scripted routes, ev...

Juan spent years PIMO—Physically In, Mentally Out, performing the part while hiding his truest self. We trace the pressure to baptize, the “bad association” rules that killed sports and friendships, and how family + culture can be weaponized to keep you compliant. Therapy (and the XJW community) gave him language for boundaries and room to say who he is: pansexual, a drag artist, and done pretendi...

Author–poet Micah Allen Losh (Mentally Diseased, The Apostasy Trilogy) joins Derek for an unflinching look at life inside a doomsday faith and the long road out. Micah reads a poem written during 77 days in jail his first sober stretch in years and traces the journey from a childhood of constant Armageddon fear and being labeled “blood guilty” to the moment he could say: “That person no longer exi...

Derek sits down for a solo chat with Mitch (@exjdub) an elder’s kid who spent decades performing inside Jehovah’s Witnesses to talk about abuse, denial, power, and the long work of becoming real. For the first time publicly, Mitch shares the abuse he endured, the moment his abuser said “I don’t remember it never happened,” the night he numbed out with a bottle of rum, and why therapy finally helpe...

Derek reconnects with Erika for a solo chat to trace a complicated path through and beyond the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Loved at home yet the “black sheep” in the Kingdom Hall, Erika was baptized at 17 to ease expectations, married at 18, and soon found herself in a life that never fit. She opens up about anxiety and meds, disfellowshipping, the pull of shunning, and the return for reinstatement. Dere...

When COVID moved meetings to Zoom, Josh Morton finally had room to breathe and realized he’d been drowning. In this intimate conversation with Derek and Trinity, Josh traces his path from teenage baptism to early marriage, double-life betrayals, and devastating family loss. He opens up about navigating guilt, anger, and shame and the moment an EXJW content cracked his certainty. Josh also unpacks...

Ben walked away from the fear and into his actual life. Raised fourth-generation JW between California, Phoenix, and now Seattle, Ben talks about growing up in the JW Library era, carrying constant Armageddon anxiety, getting publicly reproved, and what it took to quietly disappear. We get into dating after high-control beliefs, rebuilding community, reclaiming holidays and heritage, and why “putt...

At 25, Cierra sits with us to talk about growing through anxiety, depression, and the long tail of generational and religious trauma while still choosing love for the people in her life. She describes a transformative season with grounding in nature, and learning to protect her peace alongside the complicated grief of losing her father (Jan 2020) just months after a cousin’s death. We also unpack...