The Comedy Button

This week, in-between bouts of random audio issues (sorry about that), we pull some cool pranks, Ryan's wife schools us on cooking steaks, we get a box of bad German booze, Christmas arrives early, Max is a walking cartoon disaster of epic proportions, Anthony protects himself from riff-raff, we ascertain how to tell if a girl is into you, Anthony has SAD, Ryan pays someone to lock him in a room,...

This week, Ryan does a bang-up hosting job, Captain Planet is still terrible, a thoughtful listener subscribes us to Instabang, we consider the weirdos that date below their league, trading cards are for dorks, monster trucks and demolition derbies are for insane people, we don't want other people's kids on our fridge, engagement photos are the worst, we deal with fans awkwardly, Boston sucks, hol...

We forget to hit record, Anthony eats a whole pie for his birthday, Jaden Smith's Twitter account is insane, Brian sees a midget Rastafarian, Brian is an accidental racist at Starbucks, we talk about talking during sex, Anthony gets in touch with his Mexican side, we imagine some insane Christmas gifts for each other, Scott reveals a weird holiday tradition, Ryan is the manliest cast member, Ryan'...

We find out who's a nasty man, sex acts are like Doom weapons, Anthony expiration-dates a girl, we ponder the logistics of droid slavery, we discover Lindsay Lo Pan, our young selves discover that gay people exist, our shirts will get you laid (100% true story), and we recount the worst propositions from individuals who we were just desperate to avoid. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony...

Max takes his career back to the future (and explains his weird phobias), we do a boob tally, the Folsom Street Fair is weird, Ryan whips out the bully blinders, Brian is a closet depression eater, Ryan spins tales of his former criminal mastermind career, we're glad Blockbuster is finally gone, we learn some monster cereal facts straight from the source, we all totally would have been friends in...

This week, we contemplate the idea of becoming actual Ghostbusters, we're still giant manbabies, Brian makes fun of tiny horses, Ryan would be the worst drug-purchaser ever, hangovers suck, getting older sucks, our childhood bullies' adult lives suck, and moving away from home rules. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We hear stories from medical professionals, get wind of some weird STD news, talk about the stupid Power Rangers, bring up Brian's apparent archnemesis, make fun of cartoon theme songs, hear about Ryan's unwanted drug deal, get excited about Halloween, debate the merits of Twizzlers and Red Vines, move out of our parents' houses, get an update on Ryan's Renaissance Faire adventures, roll our eyes...

In this 100th episode semi-spectacular, we count our blessings, weigh time spent playing video games vs. watching porn, discuss classy erotica habits, wonder if the cobra in our cobra booze is still alive, whine about public transportation, play "IKEA or Death Metal Band," talk fashion, break down our 6th grade sex lives, go all-in on guest Greg Miller's hard-won battle against cancer, reminisce a...

This week, Anthony broadcasts from space, Max has a big announcement, we talk about whackin' (and not the mob kind), fast food travels through time, Max wants to be rotoscoped, pennies are still dumb, Ryan reads us some hot Amazon reviews, Game of Thrones is a ye olde porno, we speculate on Ryan's living conditions, we tally our couches battle scars, and we have some fun with Goosebumps story titl...

This week, Anthony gets in touch with his inner Mexican, Star Trek is still dumb, Scott has a Donald Duck butt, we play "Racist or True," Brian encounters a time-traveling vagrant, Scott follows in Brian's footsteps, people sell some weird Grand Theft Auto-related merchandise on eBay, old video games are awesome, the Mile High Club might not actually be legal, E.T. is weird, Super Mario World is t...

Ryan's life gets disrupted by a chocolate factory burning to the ground, Lobo is the worst comic book character ever, Brian pops the question, we speculate on our continuing snail's-pace race to parenthood, we dish out some advice to a 27-year-old virgin, we speculate on which cast members would win in a fight, and a bunch of 30-year-olds try to understand what Tinder is. Starring Scott Bromley, B...

Anthony throws a penny whistle concert, we tell some cat tales, Anthony's becoming more of a bar regular than Norm from Cheers, '90s rap videos are insane, we get a letter from a juggalo, Brian has mile-high horror story, we shake our heads at comments on porn videos, a listener sends us some Swedish treats, Ironman is a scam, Anthony hits the sensory deprivation chamber, and huffing paint probabl...

Ryan and Brian roll with San Francisco's craziest cab driver, Seattle gets collectively high, Anthony goes on a solo adventure, Max makes a very odd find at PAX Prime, the river man demands payment, we talk Exosquad, Ryan discusses his just-in-case-I-die preparations, we whine about how hard it used to be to get porn, we look at the hot new toy of 2013, and Cool Ryan Scott returns. Starring Scott...

Ryan and Anthony go to PAX Prime 2013, the guys who make Halo apparently listen to our show, Max gets all muscular, Anthony has a white weekend, one public break-up gets very awkward, the ThunderCats are awesomely bad, He-Man is even worse, Anthony plays us a sweet song, the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Batman toys are all kinds of insane, and Nickelodeon Gak is back. Starring Scott Bromle...

Anthony is absent again this week, and in his stead we learn the origins of one very politically incorrect term, Max gets confused by the concept of land ownership, Ryan hates on Harry Knowles (who still sucks even though his Kickstarter got funded after we recorded this), Brian wishes for a cool wheelchair, we recall our favorite (and least favorite) comedies, we recall the ghosts of Comedy Butto...

Max steps in for hosting duty in Anthony's absence, Scott has one of the most white-person weekends ever, we ponder making our own Weird Science girl, everyone really hates Guy Fieri, we introduce more reasons for you to give us money, we still aren't role models, we discuss fun things that couples can do while driving, we discuss the finer points of shaving, and the theme song to Nickelodeon Guts...

Anthony vows to stop crime, Max films a completely unrelated crime, Zombie Studios is ground zero for an actual zombie apocalypse, mugging logistics are confusing, Anthony's cat looks like every other cat, people who leave their fortunes to their pets are stupid, dead man's treasure maps are the new hotness, Mad Libs temporarily get funny again, scientists relay all-new raccoon facts, we recall ou...

In this episode, we all try to live healthier lives, Ryan gets annoyed about Taco Bell breakfasts, we encounter the most confident woman in America, Brian asks for permission to get married, we review church on-air, Anthony finds a Seattle wingman, we share some sly girl-meeting tactics, we recall our favorite Comedy Button moments (so far), Ryan eats a very special lollipop, and Scott reports on...

In this very special episode, we analyze the Gotham City Police Department, learn about Seattle's real-life superhero squad, introduce some coworkers to the show, get AMBER Alerted, get rendered speechless by the hardest Tragedy Lever pull in the show's history (thanks Ryan), check back in with Cool Ryan Scott to lighten the mood, and work through our daddy issues. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Al...

Guest host Jack DeVries turns into Cool Ryan Scott, Anthony parties hard in Seattle, white girls love crying on curbs, we hear some San Diego Comic-Con stories, Max tells us about Hell Comes to Frog Town, Hawaii has sea turtles and mongooses, we still don't understand a woman's period, we recall our personal city-related trauma, and Brian and Anthony sing us a song. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian A...

Max has an important raccoon-related announcement, Brian had to babysit Jason Mewes, a listener (finally) sends in a great email, we explain how your nerdy hobbies don't impress women, Cool Ryan Scott pays us a visit, some guy pulls very weird pranks on his friends, some other guy almost joins the mile-high club, sleeping with your cousin is always a bad idea, summer vacation is awesome, and we ge...

We learn that Anthony's been checking out his cat's unmentionables, check out the hot Seattle dating scene, hear about the nerdiest sleepover ever, hate on anime and Star Trek, make up fake movie descriptions for websites, meet the real-life Rat King, hear some taxi cab confessions, run into the world's biggest Galaga fan, and pitch an Iron Sheik documentary.

We find out what annoys Ryan's wife, confess to the stupid things we do out of habit, witness a hobo couple's $300 argument, meet the Jean Whisperer, relive Ryan's cartoon wedding day, get into arguments with our significant others, compare dog baths to something terrible, learn that our girlfriends don't care about the dumb Internet memes we try to show them, visit baby animal Vietnam, have Cola...

This week, we spin the Comedy Button topic wheel, discuss Ryan's style (and what would happen if he found himself unexpectedly alone), marvel at Radford University's latest screw-up, report on San Francisco's gay pride parade, consider the idea of an Escape from San Francisco movie, hear all about Ryan's awesome dad, and learn a thing or two about game design. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano,...

This week, Anthony joins us from Seattle to tell us about his cat-sitter, we search Yelp for highway review scores, Anthony gets real job, we ponder some interesting puppetry, crack costs skyrocket, Max's girlfriend becomes an official mouth-doctor, the gang plays "Where's Ryan?" at E3, we talk spy tech, Brian races in the Malibu Grand Prix, we conclude that arcade ticket machines are the worst th...