The Claymore and Slappy Show

Slappy's mic is turned up so loud every vibration makes a noise, but it's not like we're being paid for our amazing recording skills. This episode features faces like slapped asses, weeping whilst dancing, and the second chances we should never give abusers. Half your age plus seven!

Episode five involves a meeting down by the river. Aspersions are cast about Lucy's competence. Agent Cooper shoots a gun sexily. 

In which Bobby and James attack! Also Albert. In the morgue. Fight at the morgue! Things are hidden in large capes. Somebody please dance with poor Leland.

Much is made of an extra book. Agent Cooper introduces Albert to everyone, then dreams of a red room.

In which Tibet is talked about, Blackie is romanced and the Horne brothers horn it up.

In a very special episode of the Claymore and Slappy show, Slappy (Jess Thursday) tells her friend Claymore about her favorite librarian, the famous Eratosthenes of the Library of Alexandria. He was sort of good at so much stuff his friends called him Beta. Slappy can really relate to this. Some references: Bagnell, Roger. 2002. “Alexandria: Library of Dreams.” Proceedings of the American Philosop...

Due to a recording snafu there's a bit of echo on this episode but besides that we get to see Laura Palmer freak out, Pete try to get fish out of a percolator, and Agent Cooper hangs upsidedown. Much laughter is had at marriages going awry. 

In our reboot of season 2 we watch the long-ass pilot of Twin Peaks. A dead girl is found and much is made of the Douglas Fir trees. Ashtrays are inspected as well as teenage diaries.

The season and series finale of My So Called Life leaves us wanting more. More characters whose full name is always stated. More tension between idiot teenagers and their idiot problems. Did Katimski ever really quit coffee? Did Graham find success as a chef? Did he ever sleep with Plucky McNosecandy? Our friend Carli joins us having not seen any of the rest of the show. Thanks for going on this l...

In which handcuffs are introduced. Patty doesn't hold her liquor very well. Neil dumps his new girlfriend.

Angela is betrayed and lashes out. Graham's partner is all over the place and sus af. Patty knows how Rayanne feels.

New Years is arbitrary and so are everyone's resolutions on the show. Phone books are explained as well as phone....houses. Boxes. Booths? Caffeine withdrawals are no joke.

In which folk-singer angels walk among us.

Rayanne hits a milestone but her friends are still wary of her progress. Jordan Catalano keeps obsessing over Tino who quit the band. Rickie is still the best character.

In which people are pressured to do things. And they don't do them. Bikes are borrowed indefinitely and cats are fed....cats that may or may not exist.

Back from holidays for installment 12 in our day in the life of a 90s teen. This episode features Brian's epic meltdown. Angela and Jordan Catalano get frisky and the new English teacher gets on Rickie's last remaining nerve. We forgot to record an ending for this one so it just kind of peters......out....

The episode where we get to hear what's going on in Brian's head. And... some of it is not good. Rickie and Angela want to go to the dance that Rayanne mocks and Jordan Catalano doesn't know about. Mistakes are made.

Heavy episode, still quite funny. Overbearing mothers, mothers that hide behind masks, mothers who are mothers of mothers. Claymore and Slappy reel at how Patty is so well adjusted.

Installment nine is spoooooky and features ghosts and cash and prizes. Brian gets more training as a van guy and photographer and Danielle gets to be mopey and dramatic for halloween. Bangs is a CAT. A CAT.

In this episode Slappy and Graham stare into the abyss of their own mortality. Patty is comforted by Camille whose husband is at death's door and Brian Krakow gets a hug. Claymore and Slappy wonder what loving your job is like.

Jordan Catalano doesn't read good, but he kisses good I guess. Rayanne pages a guy multiple times and Bangs makes out with Biff some more. Claymore is skeptical about the versatility of Nilla Wafers and Slappy shares far too much information about her past.

Installment six of this rewatch of My So Called Life is the flaily, balls to the wall performance of a lifetime by The Substitute. Angela decides not to take his advice, and stays in school.

In which Angela gets a zit and struggles with poor self-image, and Bangs (Sharon) is noticed school-wide for certain...attributes. Claymore and Slappy discuss the role appearance plays in the existential horror of women young and old.

This week's installment pits Patty's father against all womankind as well as the IRS. Claymore and Slappy marvel at everyone ganging up on Graham. Angela tries to dig up some dirt on Graham but the man is a f**king saint.

Episode 3 of My So Called Life tackles gossip and guns being merely present in a school but no one is harmed. Then Claymore and Slappy solve gun violence* hooray! *prices and participation may vary, void where prohibited, gun violence may persist amongst certain demographics, speak with your doctor if you experience light-headedness or a persistent need for more ammunition as these could be a sign...