The Church Absurd - The Unholy Archives

This was the attempt at episode 23 but Reverend Jess was tired and we didn't have Deacon Sam back. It is absolutely stupid. We apologize and assure you that the other episodes are better. SEGMENTS INCLUDE Unholy Beats - Dover Demon Cringe Corner - The Juggalo Ryda Spectacular All products promoted on The Church Absurd are made by FalseCo: Real Products For A Fake World. Send your hate mail to The...

Reverend Jess and The Fickle Fanboy team up for this week's service to talk Mexican Weeping Women, good old American preacher homophobia, and a man who has a relationship with inflatable animals. Also, Jess brings on Tom and Karlo from The Designated Drinkers podcast to talk shadow people and road ghosts. SEGMENTS INCLUDE Unholy Beats - La Llorona - The Midnight Game - Listener Stories: Road Ghost...

This week, Reverend Jess brings Altar Server Jonathan back to the Fat Chapel and Deacon Sam is missing in action, so we call upon the all knowing Fickle Fanboy himself: RPM, to join us in the absurdity of Japanese monsters, kids who attempt comedy, the importance of cleaning your new tattoos, and the only real Super Saiyan. SEGMENTS INCLUDE Unholy Beasts: -  The Teke Teke - The Sacred Riana  https...

This week, we look at Betty and Barney Hill, disturbing news stories, cringy singing competitions, have a Blast Session, and Sam doesn't understand when something is too soon. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - Betty and Barney Hill - Stephen King's New Book WTFU - Worst Tinder Date Ever - Magic: The Stabbing - Westfield Watcher Blast Session The Cringe Corner - Spank Me Sa...

This week, we look at Mel's Hole, investigate the reborn Incel Forum, listen to a Brony Parody song, and shock each other with shock collars. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - 4chan Ghost Battles - Mel's Hole - Sam's Childhood Ghost Story - A Legitimately Creepy Story WTFU - Jake Evans - Bad 911 Call Operators - 1 Guy, 1 Spoon - Incel Threads The Cringe Corner - Equestrian...

This week, we look at the Jersey Devil, interview the methhead who went home with a serial killer, listen to some incel cringe, read some love words for Jesus, Lonnie sings Flo Rida, and David Berkowitz starts his own podcast in the After Service Reception. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - Jersey Devil - The spooky tale of the spoooky mann WTFU - Love Words To Jesus - Inc...

This week, we look at the Mothman, revisit A Serbian Film, read through Elliot Rodger's Manifesto, Lonnie sings A-Ha, and we revisit random emo songs from the early 2000s in the after service reception. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - Mothman - Alex Jones - Teh Day of All The Blood WTFU - A Serbian Film Baby Scene - Real life Newborn Porn - The Impressions Game: Pathetic...

This week, the toxic trio talk Hodags, ghost hunts with show superfan Trobi, revisit Albert Fish's letters, check in on some Cringe Corner favorites, and play 2 Lies, 1 Truth. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - Hodag - Turnbull Canyon - Guest Ghost Stories: Trobi's Graveyard Adventure WTFU - Canadian Elliot Rodger - The Imitation Game: Albert Fish Revisited Cringe Corner -...

This week, Jonathan takes the night off so Jess and Sam talk the Pope Lick Monster, Kentucky urban legends, the Bjork Stalker, MCR fan fiction, and drug PSA. Also, Lonnie sings a song for you at the end. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - Pope Lick Monster - Kentucky Legends - The Truth About Donald Trump's Hair WTFU - Ricardo Lopez - My Chemical Necrophilia Romance CRINGE...

This week, we see what happens when Jess and Sam drink Canadian whiskey.  It's an exercise in bad taste. We talk Agogwe, see how much more disturbing we can make the Toy Box Killer tape, revisit the cringy Juggalo rapper, and tell some lies. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - Agogwe - Party Sex Dolphin - The Truth About George W. WTFU - A Group Of Celebrities Channel The To...

This week, it is the moment you've all been waiting for. The one and only Bigfoot Hunter: Lonnie. Join us for a 40+ minute interview with the man, the myth, the legend. It includes evidence, witness accounts, and a government cover-up. You do not want to miss this. After the interview, the boys look at cringy Juggalo rap, another Albert Fish letter, and play a game of Did The Juggalos Do It? SEGME...

This week, your toxic trio talk about globsters, the truth about Wal-Mart's low prices, well endowed gnomes, goths, and foreign insults. Jonathan channels the Toy Box Killer, and George Dunne of the podcast Second Shot takes the crew on a tour of an elderly sex dungeon. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - The Globster - Well Endowed Gnomes - The Wal-Mart Time Travel Truth WT...

This week, Jess and Sam talk about a magical frogman, discover what JRHNBR means, torture Altar Server Jonathan with a 9 volt battery, train for future careers at Wendy's, and delve into the world of Minecraft song parodies. Also, world renowned comedian Chris Paugh talks to us about ghost turds. It gets pretty messed up this time around folks. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEOR...

This week, Jess and Sam take a look at weird Japanese monsters that love butt stuff, vegans who are inappropriate with papaya, Kyle Odom's close encounters, and Ugandan homophobia. Also, we get accused of being anti-gay. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - South Bay Bessie, The Lake Erie Monster - The Shirime (https://hyakumonogatari.com/2012/08/19/shirime-eyeball-butt/) - T...

After Jess recovers from illness, the boys are back! This week, your horrible hosts cover two cryptids, tell the tale of a gym rat turned Ghostbuster, get a taste of Japanese rock music, and try to curb an addiction. This and much more await the congregation so have a listen! SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - The Crawsfordsville Monster - The Thetis Lake Monster - The Ghos...

A late night service has Jess and Sam looking at the Flatwoods Monster, Grave Robbing For Morons, and comparing the quotes of Putin and Bernie Sanders. Also, the depraved duo premiere the new segment: The Cringe Corner. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: -Unholy Beasts: The Flatwoods Monster WTFU - Ruth's Unexpected Guest (911 Call) - You Have 1 New Message (The Original Night Stalker) - Grave Robbing For Morons T...

The Church Absurd is in service with special guest and alter server, Jonathan. The terrible trio talk Dear David, the Bear Lake Monster, the Child of Rage, and more! The party continues a game of Is It On Pornhub? and the karaoke punishment that follows. Segments: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES  - The Bear Lake Monster -  Dear David (https://storify.com/moby_dickhead/dear-david) WTFU - Ell...

On this episode, things get spooky when Jess and Sam look at ghost dogs, the Weepy Voiced Killer, and listen to the infamous Area 51 Caller of Coast To Coast. Plus, a friend of the show shares two crazy stories of Shadow People and Ouija Boards. Segments: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES  - The Black Shuck - Shadow People and Ouija Boards with Liz. - The Area 51 Caller on Coast To Coast WTFU...

In the second episode, we discuss the Lizard Man, make fun of Dr. Phil's interview with a kid who beat his mother to death with a sledgehammer, play a quote guessing game of Alex Jones or Charles Manson, and more! Segments: -Intro -Unholy Beasts and Blasphemous Theories: The Lizard Man of Lee County -WTFU: Dr. Phil and Jeffrey Dahmer Fan Fiction -Game: Alex Jones or Charles Manson? -Infuriated Ner...

The pilot episode! Brought to you by FalseCo! -Unholy Beasts and Blasphemous Theories: Lonnie and The Dogman -WTFU: The Grace Bud Letter -Occupational Torment: Small Town Gas Stations. Special thanks to Mike Calhoun of Chatter Squadron for the Chess Championship commercial!