Chris Abraham

The Chris Abraham Show

Comedy EN ↓ 455 episodes

tl:dr: Just a 55-year-old cisgender white male mansplaining his own self-importance. But good. Full Summary: The musings of Chris Abraham as he aspires to know the world and himself while getting healthy, losing weight, becoming fit, and running his small business while living in South Arlington, Virginia. Walk with him a while and see what's up.

Author

Chris Abraham

Category

Comedy

Podcast website

chrisabraham.com

Latest episode

Mar 9, 2026

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Episodes

Killing the Earth softly with prepackaged grocery store salad bowls in order to lose 70 kilos 27.06.2021

“As you would with meat and poultry, don't let bagged lettuce stay out of the fridge for too long, because bacteria multiply at room temperature,” says James E. Rogers, Ph. ... If even a few leaves look damaged, slimy, or bruised, don't eat any of the greens in that package. In terms of health , the benefits of eating a healthy salad definitely outweigh the risks. Being able to pick up a premade s...

Dr. Stephen A. Gaeta, M.D., PhD, doesn't need to see me or my heart for a full year, inshallah! 26.06.2021

An irregular, often rapid heart rate that commonly causes poor blood flow. The heart's upper chambers (atria) beat out of coordination with the lower chambers (ventricles). This condition may have no symptoms, but when symptoms do appear they include palpitations, shortness of breath, and fatigue. Treatments include drugs, electrical shock (cardioversion), and minimally invasive surgery (ablation)...

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle​, than for an Entrepreneur to enter into the kingdom of Wikipedia 25.06.2021

A person is presumed to be notable if they have received significant coverage in reliable secondary sources that are independent of the subject. Notability criteria may need to be met for a person to be included in a stand-alone list. And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. One does not have to be g...

My next attempt at an Eye of the Tiger Summer 21.06.2021

Just do it  might be the most important bit of advice that anyone has given anybody. Thanks, Nike. It turns out that letting a charging watch, a misplaced logbook, piece of tech, or GPS is the best way to get in your own way, fitness- and health-wise. I always assumed he just "picked them up;" however, after knowing him since he and I were both 18, I know for a fact that he works extremely ha...

I was a teenage Novel Coronavirus COVID-19 skeptic and then got the J&J jab anyway 20.06.2021

The J&J/Janssen vaccine was 66.3% effective in clinical trials (efficacy) at preventing laboratory-confirmed COVID-19 illness in people who had no evidence of prior infection 2 weeks after receiving the vaccine. People had the most protection 2 weeks after getting vaccinated. Skepticism about vaccines in general and specifically how quickly the COVID-19 vaccines have been developed have some t...

Oy My Lumbago! Sciatica is Kicking My Butt 20.06.2021

I have been calling the first one  sciatica : "lower back and buttocks pain and tingling, numbness and some weakness that originates in the lower back and travel through the buttock and down the large sciatic nerve in the back of the leg" and the second one has been described fascial adhesion . The fascia is a thin sheath of fibrous tissue enclosing a muscle or other organ. I h...

Eight quick reviews of Netflix shows and movies I decided to review for you S2E12 [Fixed Audio] 19.04.2021

Thunder Force : Funny and worth watching. I liked the teen girls better than the adult superheroes. I hate it when nice people make asses out of themselves for comedic value when they're funny enough not to play the fat card. Melissa McCarthy as Lydia Berman and Octavia Spencer as Emily Stanton? What a waste of talent from both of them.  The entire movie should have been made with T...

Ramble rumble ramble rumble ramble rumble ramble rumble ramble rumble ramble rumble ramble rumble ramble rumble S2E11 08.04.2021

Definition of rambling 1: proceeding without a specific goal, purpose, or direction: such as a: wandering about from one place to anothera rambling walk b: straying from subject to subjecta rambling essay/discussion/discoursea rambling talkerHis text is at times repetitious and rambling .— Robert Howard c: stretching, spreading, or growing in a winding or irregular waya rambling stream rambling ro...

What if Donald J. Trump was actually an asset of the Democrats and has been playing the role of GOP Heel to Joe Biden's DNC Face since the beginning: a thought experiment S2E10 31.01.2021

Is Donald Trump a Democratic secret agent? - BBC News Donald Trump CPAC speech: Is he a Democratic secret agent ... Is Donald Trump a Democratic secret agent? : politics - Reddit In professional wrestling, a face is a heroic, "good guy" or "fan favorite" wrestler, booked by the promotion with the aim of being cheered by fans. Traditionally, they wrestle within the rules and avoid cheating while be...

Cry me a river: I'm happily and gladly retired from dating and pursuing meaningful love relationships: what's that all about (crazy, right?) S2E9 30.01.2021

Chris Abraham as Quoted in The Atlantic — Chris Abraham https://chrisabraham.com/blog/chris-abraham-as-quoted-in-the-atlantic?searchterm=The+Atlantic Ella Fitzgerald and Joe Pass - Cry Me A River - Live 1975 Now You Say You're Lonely, You Cried A Long Night Through. Well, You Can Cry My A River, Cry Me A River: I Cried A River Over You. And Now You Say You're Sorry, For Bein' So Untrue. Well, You...

Beware the Americans who catch you in a big lie today, they might audit all the stories you've ever told all the way back for more big lies S2E8 23.01.2021

Well, That Was Some Weird Sh*t   https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/otm/episodes/on-the-media-some-weird January 22, 2021 On this week’s show, we take a deep breath. Plus, journalists reflect on the deep damage done to our information ecosystem and how we can begin to repair it. And, Brooke and Bob take a journey through 20 years of OTM. 1. Brooke and Bob on the (short-lived) reprieve...

We live in a post-shame America and shame and humiliation cannot and do not work to command and control Americans any longer (suicide Is painless) S2E7 13.01.2021

"Suicide Is Painless" is a song written by Johnny Mandel (music) and Michael Altman (lyrics). It was the theme song for both the movie and TV series M*A*S*H. YouTube Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i70_u7T8hq8 "The song was written specifically for Ken Prymus, the actor playing Private Seidman, who sang it during the faux-suicide of Walter "Painless Pole" Waldowski (John Schuck) in the film'...

January 6th might be this generation's September 11th except it's breaking America apart instead of bringing it together, united (you're tearing me apart, Lisa!) S2E6 12.01.2021

Watch Johnny (aka Tommy Wiseau) go all ape shit on his girlfriend in this classic scene from the film "The Room:" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fM7qNm_Mmrw "In the days after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, liberals and conservatives flew American flags outside their homes and let them flutter from their car antennas. A Republican president spoke kindly and reassuringly at a mosque. Lawmakers from...

How much anti-cancer chemotherapy can America endure before it kills Her—and what would sprout up in Her place? S2E5 11.01.2021

The video I mentioned wherein Chris Hayes talks about the members of the political class who were threatened by white supremacists: Must-See New Video Shows Capitol Riot Was Way Worse Than We Thought | All In | MSNBC "We have before us the opportunity to forge for ourselves and for future generations a new world order, a world where the rule of law, not the law of the jungle, governs the conduct o...

American democracy does not have a glass jaw. Does it? And if you got a glass jaw, you should watch your mouth cause I'll break your face, have your ass running S2E4 04.01.2021

You shouldn't throw stones if you live in a glass house And if you got a glass jaw, you should watch your mouth Cause I'll break your face, have your ass running 50 Cent - Patiently Waiting GlassJaw : 1.) Someone who can't take a punch . Glass jaw (noun) a weak jaw that is easily broken, especially as an indication of a fighter's vulnerability to an opponent's punches. Glass jaw (plural glass jaws...

Shame, Fear, and Authority are no longer the powerful, reliable, or effective command and control tools they once were to steer countries or peoples in the Internet age 01.01.2021

Shame: (noun) a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. (verb) (of a person, action, or situation) make (someone) feel ashamed. Command and control : term can refer to the influence an attacker has over a compromised computer system that they control. For example, a valid usage of the term is to say that attackers use "command and contro...

Why have none of my friends ever heard of Zwift or Zwifting or Zwalking or Zwalker or Watopia or any of the fun online world of Cycling and Running online? 31.12.2020

Zwift is a massively multiplayer online cycling and running physical training program that enables users to interact, train and compete in a virtual world. The company responsible for Zwift, Zwift Inc., was cofounded by Jon Mayfield, Eric Min, Scott Barger and Alarik Myrin in California, United States, in 2014. Now that you are ready to get started with Zwift, there are a couple basic things you n...

The State of My Health is Sound 30.12.2020

Normal sinus rhythm is defined as the rhythm of a healthy heart. It means the electrical impulse from your sinus node is being properly transmitted. In adults, normal sinus rhythm usually accompanies a heart rate of 60 to 100 beats per minute. However, normal heart rates vary from person to person. Edema is swelling caused by excess fluid trapped in your body's tissues. Although edema can affect a...

Hypocrisy in the Time of Corona: often he who criticises others reveals what he himself lacks; I won't insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said 27.12.2020

Yes, I am fully are that I am ending the first season of my podcast ripely, by being the biggest hypocrite of them all. King of the hypocrites. I am duly aware and fully willing. Enjoy! Hypocrisy is the practice of engaging in the same behavior or activity for which one criticizes another or the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one's own behavior does not conform. I...

You keep using that word Democracy. I do not think it means what you think it means. Inconceivable! UPDATED! #49 01.12.2020

Noam Chomsky argues that "U.S. democratic rhetoric and undemocratic substance have a long history," and the United States only supports democracy "if and only if it conforms to U.S. economic and strategic objectives." "Some critics have also argued that the U.S. has used democracy to justify military intervention abroad ." "Polling data in the Arab world suggests that Arab public opinion largely r...

You can spin the same old tales to fresh new audiences; the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house #48 30.11.2020

" Audre Lorde 's most famous essay, " The Master's Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master's House ," is included in Sister Outsider . Lorde questions the scope and ability for change to be instigated when examining problems through a racist, patriarchal lens. She insists that women see differences between other women not as something to be tolerated, but something that is necessary to generate powe...

Eclipse Tricks: You have angered the gods! Of science! We shall therefore exterminate you! Extinction event! Extinction event! Extinction event! #47 29.11.2020

" Christopher Columbus , in an effort to induce the natives of Jamaica to continue provisioning him and his hungry men, successfully intimidated the natives by correctly predicting a total lunar eclipse for 1 March 1504." "In an interesting postscript to this story, in 1889, Mark Twain, likely influenced by The Eclipse Trick, wrote the novel, "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court . " In it,...

Is there any extreme you would not go to to remove Trump from office? That's what I thought. You'd do anything, wouldn't you! #46 22.11.2020

"Derived from cases of color revolution it is found that the order for color revolution to occur or be able succeed, there are four criteria which must be satisfied. Firstly, their incumbent leader of the regimes must be very unpopular and face the so-called ‘lame-duck syndrome’. Secondly, the anti-regimes forces are enforced by mass-media and foreign influences. Thirdly, the revolution must not b...

Wait, do you want to "make the world a better place" for us—or for you? What does "making the world better" actually mean? #45 21.11.2020

Milana Aleksandrovna Vayntrub is an Uzbekistan-born American actress, comedian, and activist. She came to prominence for her appearances in AT&T television commercials as saleswoman Lily Adams from 2013 to 2016, and again in 2020. Millions of refugees seek the one thing you might be taking for granted: a home. The #CantDoNothing movement provides simple ways for you to help. CantDoNothing.org...

Eight months sober though does it count if you probably suffer from gluttony and not from alcoholism? #44 20.11.2020

Gluttony (Latin: gula, derived from the Latin gluttire meaning "to gulp down or swallow") means over-indulgence and over-consumption of food, drink, or wealth items, particularly as status symbols. In Christianity, it is considered a sin if the excessive desire for food causes it to be withheld from the needy. Called one of the seven deadly sins , gluttony is characterized by a limitless appetite...

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