The Captain's Log

Episode 238. Ignacio is on the podcast this week, joining forces with Kyle to quiz a clueless Melissa with predictions about the upcoming Summer Games Fest. We've played this game before, but now we've added a Magic 8 Ball with its own competing blind predictions! Who will be more accurate, Melissa the living human woman, or a piece of plastic from Mattel? We discuss big hats, jetpack sex, and how...

Episode 237. We don't know what beverages are and aren't cocktails, all we know is that we aren't cocktails. Kyle drinks in a vault. Melissa worries over a Hot Girl Brunch. We talk wienermobiles, the Good Burger car, pretzel sculptures, the future of the defunct Star Wars hotel at Disney World, and the upcoming reboots for Futurama and King of the Hill. Click here to watch a video of this episode....

Episode 236. Melissa updates us on Drops of God and commits herself to living large and seeing more summer movies in IMAX. Kyle plays the new Zelda and watches the old Lone Wolf and Cub. We go over some nominees for this year's Eisner Awards for excellence in comics. There's news on Beetlejuice 2, a Friday the 13th prequel series, and some Marvel details from both Disney and Sony. Finally, we reac...

Episode 235. We discuss Kyle's dad discovering the "new" "trend" of dad jokes and wonder if you can trace any evolution of pop culture comedy influence across the many years of America's Funniest Home Videos. Beetlejuice 2 ("Beetletwoce") and a new season of Good Omens are on the way. We ask if there any real consequences if you don't watch an acclaimed TV show? Are you the one breaking bad if you...

Episode 234. Kyle has the final results of his competition with a Duolingo rival. Melissa is excited by the Big Puppets in the filmed Spirited Away stage play. We spotlight the new Summer Freeze flavor of Mtn Dew and imagine region-specific Dew flavors for our own states. We prepare for the release of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 by making playlists, carefully choosing a restaurant, and dehydrat...

Episode 233. Primal forces are at work when Melissa goes to a live production of Wicked. Kyle called Saul, and was the better for it. We look at the news coming out of CinemaCon, a convention where movie studios show off their upcoming projects to theater owners, including an R-rated Kraven The Hunter and a Beetlejuice sequel, henceforth known as Beetletwoce. We ask what if subpar movie universes...

Episode 232. Kyle questions the ranking of a list of top Disneyland rides, and Melissa reveals the shocking source of supposed ghost videos from the Disney parks. We share our excitement over the teaser for the upcoming Venture Bros movie, mysteriously titled Radiant is the Blood of Baboon Heart. We also share our thoughts on Renfield, question what makes a good Reed Richards, and workshop how we...

Episode 231. We're discussing the news out of Star Wars celebration, including the Ashoka trailer, movie announcements, and puzzling hints about The Acolyte. This somehow leads us to a cyperpunk name generator quiz and determining if a fox is more like a dog or a cat. We also have casting news for DC's Creature Commandos, a teaser for the John Wick spinoff series The Continental, and recaps of our...

Episode 230. Kyle finds another false Luigi. Melissa introduces us to Smoke Woman. We both watched the pixel chaos that is Tetris. Our big topic this week: tasting different flavors of the Japanese sweet snack Pocky, and its savory cousin Pretz! We learn about larb, get startled by corn, be true to ourselves with baked potato, branch out with matcha, celebrate the harvest with apple, crush hard on...

Episode 229. Kyle laments the missed opportunity of Mecha March and the lie that is Luigi's Pizza. Melissa introduces us to lost movies Big Bug Man and Freaky Flickers, and the defunct as-seen-on-TV Hawaii Chair. We ask if liquid trees missed the point of real trees, what Betty Ross could be doing in the upcoming Captain America: New World Order, if Darkman stole from Clayface, if Clippy would mak...

Episode 228. Melissa explains the Willem Defoe crime/survival thriller Inside and why it's so helpful for the audience to see him poop in a bathtub. Kyle reveals his secret infinite beach. We remember the late actor Lance Reddick, a gem in everything from Lost to John Wick. We also discuss the upcoming Power Rangers reunion movie Once & Always, the old lemon scent of Shazam: Fury of the Gods,...

Episode 227. Melissa attempts to quantify a very specific film sub-genre, the California Drive-Around, and its cousin the New York Walk-Around. Kyle is shocked when a modern-day French crime drama suddenly flashes back to Ancient Rome. We recap the Oscars, look at some superhero movies news, and discuss crows that can solve murders BECAUSE THEY ARE A MURDER, THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL A GROUP OF CROWS,...

Episode 226. Kyle is haunted by an extremely loud home appliance. Melissa eats a new kind of Reese's Cup live on air. We imagine new categories for the Oscars, such as Best Title Sequence, Best Adapted Performance, Best Animal, and Best Kiss (MTV Movie Awards have had a monopoly on this for too long!!!). Melissa ranks all the 2023 best picture nominees on a scale from Wet to Dry. Kyle tries learni...

Episode 225. Did you know that TV detective Perry Mason is based on a real person? He isn't! But doesn't that seem plausible? You could convince somebody of that, right? We also discuss the incredibly detailed Lost Encyclopedia and other informational treasures from DK Publishing, rewatching Yellowjackets, rowdy popcorn boys, and movies we saw in the theaters with our friends when we were teenager...

Episode 224. This week: MONSTER TRUCKS! We read the name of every MONSTER TRUCK competing in MONSTER JAM. We also describe Quantumania as if it was a scented candle and discuss educating ourselves in film history, theming our meals to movies, our dream team of the creators of Dark adapting Something is Killing the Children, and Ton E. Cheese's Pizza and Avenging Parlour. Click here to watch a vide...

Episode 223. Melissa reads every cheesecake flavor at the Cheesecake Factory, our most manic restaurant. We discuss international remakes of famous TV shows, localizing Napoleon Dynamite for every weird small town in the world, and the big trailers coming out of the Super Bowl, and we react to the trailer for Tetris, an upcoming Apple TV+ movie about the beloved Gameboy game. Plus, Sad Canada Week...

Episode 222. This is our understanding of football: no one is going to catch on fire while they play it. Kyle brings us new comic book adaptations coming to Prime and recaps some DC comics both approachable and impenetrable for new readers. Melissa tries to accurately but vaguely explain Knock at the Cabin and watches all the Scream movies to see people running around big houses. We also imagine a...

Episode 221. We've got mega DC news this week! We discuss the slate of newly announced shows and movies for the "Gods and Monsters" chapter of the DCU, featuring political intrigue, dark mystery, imposter syndrome, a Superman and Batman power couple, an insolent young son, and Frankenstein. We also discuss modern egg creams and how we need more Muppets recapping famous movies for us. Click here to...

Episode 220. We're brainstorming ideas to "gamify" our other podcast The Review Show, by introducing Who Wants To Be a Millionaire lifelines and Yu-Gi-Oh trap cards. We try to pitch each other on the K-drama Vagabond and the sci-fi thriller Sunshine. Melissa reads through the Oscar nominations, an exciting mix of artsy oddities and familiar blockbusters, honoring the hard work of a penguin, a robo...

Episode 219. We're planning out special event Captain's Log episodes for later this year, such as a Pocky taste test and a fantasy draft of our five new dads. Kyle brings us tales of mystery, such as a lost Grubhub delivery and a shocking Formula 1 wife. Melissa attempts to explain Skinamarink and asks what is the least "movie" movie you've ever seen? Click here to watch a video of this episode. ★...

Episode 218. Welcome to 2023 at the Captain's Log, where we try to remember Toad the Wet Sprocket songs and read a long list of Battlebot names. Kyle has gone to the Van Gogh experience and Melissa remembers the last time she lay on the floor in a public building. We review the media we encountered in 2022, with Kyle's statistics on number of butt hours spent watching TV, and Melissa's ranking of...

Kyle and Melissa and a surprise appearance by Ignacio are here for our annual year-end celebration! We discuss Avatar: The Way of Water, the antics at the Game Awards, very specific adult coloring books, the trailers for Oppenheimer and Barbie, our favorite podcast episodes this past year, what performed well and what we had the most fun recording, and all the benefits that Fringe brought into our...

Episode 217. It's our final Captain's Log of the year! We share Log memories and some of our favorite media from the year, what we're watching now, and what we want to finish watching before the year is over. Kyle is dazzled by Arcane, Melissa is emotional over a feature-length YouTube video on the history of the Disney Channel theme tune. We revisit our list of story tropes for our Review Show bi...

Episode 216. It's the most tomato time of year! We continue our annual tradition of guessing the Rotten Tomatoes critics scores and making other wild predictions for upcoming movies from December 2022 through November 2023, and reveal the scores for this past year's movies. Just how low was the score for Morbius? Do we think The Super Mario Bros. Movie will do better than Sonic 2? What's the twist...

Episode 215. We're back from our Thanksgiving break to recap what we've been watching: the Korean zombie drama Kingdom, the coming-of-age movie about movies The Fabelmans, the riotous mystery Glass Onion, and the classic crime story Goncharov. Kyle also updates us on new social media platforms where you can find The Whatnauts to tell us the anime character names that your parents always get wrong....