The Cannon Canon

It's another COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON and this time we're covering the infamously maligned TANGO & CASH . A movie that's better than the punchline it became over the past few decades. It's got prime sexy form Kurt Russel, Sly Stallone and Teri Hatcher with a Harold Faltermeyer score, what's not to love about this blatant copaganda romp?! Also, this movie's got more quips than Chandler Bing writi...

We end SEQUELtember and our coverage of the Bronson "Death Wish" series with the return of the Bronson Bros (Frank, Geoff and Noah Segan ) to talk DEATH WISH V: THE FACE OF DEATH ! This post-Golan & Globus "Death Wish" sequel/finale finds Kersey back in New York seeking revenge against one of the broadest mob stereotypes this side of a poisoned cannoli! MAMMAMIA! It's got toy soccer ball bombs...

"Pride is a poor substitute for intelligence." For this "SEQUELtember" installment, we're dippin' our toes back into the HBO/Cannon home video releases and talkin' RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II ! A sequel with more of a summer blockbuster action flick feel than the first (blood) film (thanks in part to some script help from James Cameron). More government distrust, more gratuitous violence, more...

"SEQUELtember" continues with one of Cannon's most popular sequels, " BREAKIN'2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO "! And returning from our Breakin' episode to break down Breakin' 2 is Danielle Perez (Russian Doll, Curb Your Enthusiasm) ! Released only 7 MONTHS after Breakin', this "extended music video with suggested dialogue" raises the question: Is Kelly the real enemy? Is Ozone a bad teacher? Can breakdancin...

" SEQUELTEMBER " is here on The Cannon Canon! We kick off a month of Cannon sequels with 1990's Delta Force 2: The Columbian Connection ! A movie that has little to do with the first Delta Force or Columbia. Filmed in part at Regan's abandoned getaway crib, this movie has Norris beating up "skinheads" in a restaurant, more Molasses 2x4 climbing and John P. Ryan having the time of his life.  B...

We close out August of Austin with the bizarre 1987 Cannon "kid's" movie TOO MUCH: THE ROBOT WITH A HEART ! A tale about an American girl who forms a special bond with a robot in Japan. Does it lack a coherent plot, justification for actions and put kids in insane danger? Of course it does! It's Cannon, baby!  This classist, copkillin' magical robot will have you shouting "TOO MUCH"! OUR PATR...

"Damn you, baby! And damn you, clown!" The August of Austin continues! Each week we'll be covering a Cannon film suggested by author and Cannon scholar Austin Trunick ( The Cannon Film Guide Vol 1.: 1980-1984 & Vol 2: 1985-1987 ). Today the Cannon Bros take a sweaty, sexy(???) peek at 1984's Maria's Lovers (which you can watch HERE ). A rusty chair in a field, a bulldog in sunglasses, pregnant...

The August of Austin continues! Each week we'll be covering a Cannon film suggested by author and Cannon scholar Austin Trunick ( The Cannon Film Guide Vol 1.: 1980-1984 & Vol 2: 1985-1987 ). Today the Cannon Bros tackle "CHAIN OF COMMAND" Dudikoff's final film for Cannon and a rollercoaster of convoluted twist after twist..after twist after twist after twist (repeat until dead).  OUR PAT...

Today on the Cannon Canon we kick off the AUGUST OF AUSTIN! Each week we'll be covering a Cannon film suggested by author and Cannon scholar Austin Trunick ( The Cannon Film Guide Vol 1.: 1980-1984 & Vol 2: 1985-1987 ). And let us warn you...Austin did NOT disappoint. Just when we thought Cannon couldn't surprise us anymore, Austin hands us PENITENTIARY III . The craziest movie the Cannon Bros...

We close out J(CVD)ULY with the Cannon CLASSIC, 1988's BLOODSPORT ! Based on a True (but not true) story. This is PRIME JCVD. Buns, Kicks n' Slo-Mo Screams. It's a Dim Mak blow to the cinematic senses and a nutpunch to the heart. You'll be chanting "Dux" and "Kumite" 'till the government tries to drag you back to the US Military. They've invested too much! GO, GIANTS (any sports kind)! OUR PATREON...

"You're discharged... Sarge." J(CVD)ULY heats back up with the JCVD classic, 1992's UNIVERSAL SOLDIER !  Dolph Lundgren has the time of his life with ear puns, JCVD asks, "Is that supposed to be there?" and we get those obligatory JCVD smooth baby-oiled bunz 4 funz, y'all! "Are we having fun yet?" You're gonna need a trunk full of bag ice to cool down after this hot episode! OUR PATREON: patr...

"HEY! WHO PEED IN THE POOL?!" J(CVD)ULY was getting TOO HOT, so we cool it down a bit with the JCVD (BARELY) co-star, classic NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER . A charming movie somewhere between Miami Connection and Rocky IV. A tale of some retreating and some surrendering to a mob that wants to own a franchise of dojos?  JCVD is in this movie for a total of maybe 10 minutes and he plays a Russian?...

"Poor bastard. Tomorrow might have been a brighter day." J(CVD)ULY continues with 1994's TIMECOP ! While it's a little played out to say, this movie is strangely prescient of our current time. Except for the Timecop stuff...that we know of.  We get buns, splits, kicks and jokes that land with a thud, so you KNOW it's quality JCVD that we love.  Afterward, you can pump that Fudge Factory,...

We take another slight detour off the Cannon track with the whole month of July dedicated to the "Muscles from Brussels" himself, Jean-Claude Van Damme! We're calling it J(CVD)ULY ! This week we find ourselves in the Big Easy for 1993's HARD TARGET !  Take a chance, like his mamma did, punchin' snakes while escaping the deadliest game and movin' in slow-mo to some "Swamp Denim" jams. We "Woo!...

When the Geoff is away, the Frank will play. It's our first ever Cannon Canon Patreon Roundtable ! Patreon members Andy Puechner and Ed Harris join Frank to discuss their Top 5 Cannon Films (as well as some honorable mentions). If you'd like to join a future roundtable and have access to some episodes a month early as well as bonus content, head over to our Patreon and sign up!  OUR PATREON:...

We've been threatening it forever...and it's finally risen from its pulsating rubber grave! That's right, our " COULD'VE Been A Cannon today is SPOOKIES !  A wild movie that is technically 2 movies? Amazing monster effects that balance out some of the head-scratching moments like WHY is there a cat guy dressed like Balki Bartokomous with a hook hand? HOW exactly are they all friends? Those aw...

Austin Trunick RETURNS to The Cannon Canon to discuss his incredible new book The Cannon Film Guide Volume II (1985-1987) !  We talk all things Cannon and the staggering amount of information that had to be parsed through for this massive edition. We also get a taste of what Volume III might look like and we set in stone "Austin's August Picks" where Austin will hand pick the Cannon films we...

"You can find me at the school". After a month of Bronson, we decided to return to an old friend (sort of), today the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) discuss 1990's (technically 1991) " American Ninja 4: The Annihilation ". Dudikoff returns...45 mins into the movie. It's a sequel that's missing a bit of that "ninja magic"...and Steve James.  OUR PATREON: patreon.com/thecannoncanon Follow u...

"I can carry nearly eighty gigs of data in my head." And the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) can talk 2+ hours about 1995's pre-Matrix Keanu cyberpunk flick " JOHNNY MNEMONIC "! A " COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON " picked by Patreon member Brian Armstrong ! We thought it couldn't get more 90's than "Tank Girl", but Johnny Mnemonic is a Fruitopia-soaked Gateway Computer running Windows '95 while Stabbing Wes...

HE'S A SECRET FREAK! SECRET FREAK! Today the Cannon Bros are talking about a movie that is not a Cannon but could be the most Cannon non Cannon film we have watched. Of course it is Bronson's 1984 flick "THE EVIL THAT MEN DO".  From production history, to confusing plot to the Cannon Bros continuing their realization that Bronson just might have a little more kink than we give him credit for....

Bronson "Don't like May(onnaise)" month continues on the Cannon Canon with the one that started it all... DEATH WISH ! While not a Cannon, it was ESSENTIAL for us to watch it for context...and because we wanted to. Our Bronson Brother from another "One Mama", Noah Segan, joins us once again ! While the other Death Wish movies we've covered have been fun movies, this one is truly a FILM. Marvel at...

Bronson "Don't like May(onnaise)" month continues on the Cannon Canon with DEATH WISH 4: THE CRACKDOWN ! Joining us once again is our Bronson Brother Noah Segan ! A little dialed back and introspective than Death Wish 3, but still delightfully Cannon and Bronson!  Once again, don't be someone Kersey loves! It never ends well!  OUR PATREON: patreon.com/thecannoncanon Follow us on the soci...

It's May, which means we're kicking off our special " Bronson 'Don't Like May(onnaise) "" month! Bronson all May long! We sail off into this Bronson voyage with 1987's Assassination ! With the original title of " My Affair With the President's Wife" combined with a Cannon Bronson film, you know it's gonna be a good time!  Look, no need to be longwinded here, Bronson LITERALLY delivers the lin...

LEARN TO LOVE THE ROPE! This week on our COULD'VE Been a Cannon series. Well, maybe we don't make a strong case for it being a Cannon film. But, wow, do we love the 1977 William Devane/Tommy Lee Jones classic "Rolling Thunder" . I mean it's a revenge movie! Cannon. Our main character gets his hand put into a garbage disposal and gains a razor-sharp hook hand, taking lemons and making revenge lemon...

It's a Cannon Ninja movie with a "Flashdance" meets "The Excorcist" flair! That's right, we're finally covering NINJA III: The Domination . A sequel with little to NO connection to the first two Ninja films (except the excellent Shô Kosugi). Joining us to talk about this batsh*t film is the ultracool and very funny Lucé Tomlin-Brenner ( Too Much Productions , It’s Always Halloween , Vidéothèque...