The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

Open now in beautiful West Hollywood, CA, it's The Brians' Breakfast Shack! It's like the Love Shack, but with less sex and more superfluous orange blossom plate garnishes! The Brians' Breakfast Shack Menu includes all your favorite hearty, wholesome breakfast foods! Featuring items as varied as our Flying Firkus Pancake Platter to our Egg McCooken Sun-Dried-Chicken Legs Breakfast Sandwich to our...

On the brutal, kill-or-be-killed plains of the Serengeti, power is determined by sheer brute strength. It is measured by the breadth of one's chest, the size of one's claws, and the length of one's incisors. But in the stiflingly hot concrete jungle of Los Angeles, power is determined by the ability to sit down in very comfortable chairs, hold microphones, and talk about life's daily minutiae for...

Next to the shimmering turquoise waters of the Côte d'Azur, on the picturesque beaches of Saint-Tropez, sits the Shack D'Amour: a delectable, debaucherous nightclub teeming with music-loving crustaceans, boys in bikinis, and girls on surfboards. Come for the baked potatoes and tanning butter, stay for the non-stop fruggin'. Check Out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launc...

Nestled amongst saguaro cacti like a majestic mirage in the arid sands of Palm Springs, we welcome you to the glistening, pink-hued motor lodge that is the Trixie Motel! This amazing inn features seven themed rooms expertly prepared for only the finest desert debauchery. Amenities galore await you, like our sparkling pool, perfectly fit for your sun-dried hot dog legs and pale, bald dome. And if y...

As we make the annual trek back to our hometowns to visit family, consume desicated turkey, and meet gross Uncle Rich's 22-year-old girlfriend with a dead tooth, let us take a moment to reflect on the past year and all the wondrous gifts that it has bestowed upon us, including that holly berry-hued eczema that appeared out of nowhere. From everyone at Bald Headquarters here in beautiful Gomorrah,...

A'lo, guv'nor! Grab a steaming cup of PG Tips, take your place in the queue, stuff your face with bangers & mash, and use the trusty National Health Service to check up on that rash that simply won't go away! Come and join Trixie and Katya as they travel to merry 'ol England for a live show at the historic Troxy theater! From insulting the locals for their consumption of blood sausage to detailed...

A dusting of snow gently kisses the needles of a vividly green six-foot balsam fir, all alone in a small forest meadow. Nothing captures nature's majesty quite like a pine-scented solstice soldier, standing guard against the cold; a stark contrast against the pallid December sky. The time has finally come. The season of Krampus is officially upon us. Lock your windows, bolt your doors, and gird yo...

Looking for a last minute gift? Go to https://establishedtitles.com/BALD and order a digital title pack certificate to print today! They are running a massive Holiday Sale, plus 10% off on any purchase with code BALD. Thanks to Established Titles for sponsoring this video! With a richly tapestried history spanning nearly two millennia, London is the jewel of the Thames with its cobblestone streets...

As the sun fades and day turns to dusk in Paris, the beautiful Champs-Élysées becomes a twinkling thoroughfare filled with the comings and goings of sharply-dressed Parisians, bustling to and fro beneath the majestic Arc de Triomphe. In a small, nameless cafe, Trixie and her family open a fourth bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape as they laugh and smile over a table filled with escargots de bourgogne,...

The effervescent, enchanting, & ever-so-ebullient Natasha Leggero stops by the house to chat about her new book, "The World Deserves My Children". She and Katya have a sparkling conversation about such disparate topics as pediatric caviar, mid-life-crisis-techno-DJs, and brainless gutter people having relations with robots in a post-apocalypse hellscape. Natasha's new book "The World Deserves My C...

Behold, Tik Tok judgement day is nigh! As the soiled masses scroll through prosaic videos of cats, choreography, and cleaning materials, do not pretend you are free from fear. When the end comes, it shall arrive with righteous wrath and fierce anger, darkening the sun, cloaking the moon, and causing the stars to fall from heaven. Tik Tok shall pass judgement upon you and all whom you know, causing...

The fog has settled in, surrounding the dark soulless condo nestled amongst the broken dreams and shattered souls of Hollywood. High above the urine-stained street, a lamp flickers dimly in a window. Faint shadows on the walls can be seen from below, giving only a tiny glimpse into the horrible monstrosities that dance within. Two hairless, beady-eyed incubi sit opposite each other, their bony cla...

After two years of wearing easy cheese-stained sweatpants and that vintage Cher 'Do You Believe?' tour t-shirt, it's time to re-visit your closet and break out those accessories. While dainty chains, layered strands, and zodiac trinkets have been en vogue this past summer, it's time to step out into the crisp, fall air with some bold bijoux that tells everyone around you, "I'm a Winner." Made from...

Grab a piping hot mug of Tim Hortons, turn on the NHL, hide your Royal Canadian Mounted Police porn VHS, pour a shot of pure Canadian maple syrup, and bury your fat face in a pile of steaming poutine. The dolls have invaded the great white north for a live show at the Just For Laughs Festival in beautiful Toronto. Join us as we both marvel at their universal healthcare and mock them for their smor...

We here at Bald Headquarters would like to use this week's episode to introduce our listeners to the mostly-unknown art form of comic books, the even more obscure phenomenon of superheroes, and the finer points of the opening of the rectum on the body's surface, colloquially known as "the anus". And while you're listening, please enjoy a wonderfully-refreshing early-Fall beverage recipe from our M...

This sexy little minx was like nothing I'd ever seen before. Her legs, of which there were six, went on for days. The jelly in her prothorax, mesothorax, and metathorax jiggled like a jar of freshly opened blackberry jam. There were so many segments in her abdomen that I couldn't decide which one to focus on as I salivated at the sight. I was lost in the ocean of her compound eyes, sitting just be...

As summer comes to a sweaty, malodorous end and you attempt to enjoy a few solitary moments of seasonal joy, take a minute to dry your swamp-ass in the air-conditioning, put on some clean underwear, and chill that special box of wine you've been saving for a special occasion. This week, we're revisiting an amazing chat with the co-editors of UNHhhh, Jeff Maccubbin & Ronald Hill. Come join the girl...

The harvest moon shone bright in the Hollywood sky, illuminating the shattered dreams and stained casting couches below. I was back from tour and more tired than the plot of Morbius. As I settled in for a solitary evening of Netflicking and Green-Cheffing, I took a few too many puffs of the 'ol Green Unicorn Kush. As my mind raced and the synapses in my brain accelerated to the point of near-insan...

To celebrate the premiere of Season 4 of What We Do in the Shadows, we're revisiting one of our favorite episodes ever with the one, the only, Guillermo from What We Do in the Shadows, Harvey Guillén! Listen as Trixie and Katya fan-girl the f**k out in an amazing interview with everything from Harvey's magical audition story to the show's countless running gags to the ever-expanding set & genius c...

MEN SEEKING MEN (Los Angeles Metro Area): Just watched HBO's 2019 series Watchmen. We are two fabulous, bald drag queens seeking omniscient, radioactive, nuclear physicist with massive, luminous blue genitalia for casual sex and future-telling. Monkey pox vaccination preferred but not required. (Time-travel capabilities a plus) Please send pics of your cerulean phallus to "totally_not_trixie_and_k...

In a world where one's public image is everything, we here at Bald, LLC would like to propose a different route: that of radical honesty. Have a small penis? Wear it like a tiny, proud badge. Hairy in all the wrong places? Include that despicable rat's nest in your nude pic. What we're trying to say is stop trying to be something you aren't, and live your life as the disgusting, disfigured, and co...

Do you find yourself frequently having dreams about a burned, disfigured man wearing a dirty red-and-green-striped sweater and brown fedora? In these dreams, does said man make pun-based jokes and threaten to kill you? Has your bed recently tried to eat you? If so, you may have unintentionally roused the ire of a certain "Mr. Frederick Krueger." While a horrific death may be in your future, we off...

Do you frequently experience an itching or burning sensation? Is discomfort in your posterior region a regular occurrence? Do you have night terrors involving killer clowns & bed-wetting that may have led to a divorce? Trix Pads™ with cooling Katyamine lotion are here to save your marriage, ease your discomfort, and soothe that burning ass. Side effects may include chronic perspiration, sudden-ons...

We here at Bald Headquarters, LLC are thrilled to announce our new collaboration with Fleügghendorfen Air Conditioners! Straight from a snow-drenched chalet in the Bavarian Alps comes Europe's oldest and most-respected HVAC specialist, Fleügghendorfen Air Conditioners. As Trixie deals with the vocal cords of an 80-year-old cigar smoker and Katya is finally on the road to recovery after quadruple h...

Actor, drag queen, comedian, & musician Kelly Mantle visits Katya in her dark layer of sewing and sequins! They discuss Kelly's experience on the Trixie and Katya Live tour, her ridiculously long IMDb page, and the self-confidence perils of acting alongside genetically-perfect Hollywood a-listers. You can currently see Kelly on the Trixie and Katya Live tour and starring as Sheila on the OUtTv/Ama...