The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

If you hardly knew somebody and something felt off, would you dismiss what you were sensing, seeing or hearing, or would you pay attention? Well, if like so many of us do, you ignored you, you're not alone. If you get niggling messages from within but dismiss them because they don't make sense or are 'inconvenient', you're definitely not alone. Natalie talks about how turning 42 and leaning into h...

So many people experience shame around having needs, which is like being ashamed of breathing! Natalie delves into emotional needs and the importance of being our primary caregiver.  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

Ever had somebody say something to you that *seems* like it's supposed to be taken as a compliment, but it's totally not? Or, have you been in a situation where someone's making sly digs under the veneer of a smile or being helpful? In this week's episode, Natalie delves into put-downs and how to handle them from an assertive place instead of putting you down in response.  Instagram  |  Events  | ...

Many of us have some level of fear of being alone, and when this drives us, it leads to some pretty painful and dubious choices. Is being with ourselves really that bad? Natalie delves into alone versus lonely, why alone doesn't equal 'unloved', and more.  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

When things don't go according to plan and we feel baffled by someone's behaviour or the outcome, retracing our steps will inevitably reveal the slippery slope that we were on with our boundaries.  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership  

There are 5 stages of relationships, and stages 0-1 set the foundation for what lies ahead (or doesn't). Natalie talks about the parallels between dating and job searches and how adopting a recruiter mindset keeps us grounded during these crucial stages so that we can be more discerning and set ourselves up for being available for the type of relationship we say that we need and want. Instagram  |...

Natalie explores why so many of us don't realise that the pressure we feel to be or do certain things isn't always about what we actually want. Often it's about what we think we're supposed to want because we're, for example, approaching or in our forties, are a woman of a certain age, or because it's what our parents told us was the way life works.  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

When Natalie had to train for the 2018 London Marathon in less than four months, it didn't take long before she realised that she was employing lessons she'd learned from doing No Contact and her initial struggle to create healthy boundaries. If you battle an inner critic that encourages you to do stuff only to switch things up and scare the bejaysus out of you about those same choices, or you wre...

How good do you feel about yourself and a relationship if it feels like you had to campaign or even hound your partner into committing? Yeah... exactly. Natalie talks about commitment-resistance and why it's time to stop trying to drag commitment out of people.  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

Do you know the difference between empathy and overempathy? Well, if you feel as if you've been burned by rescuing or helping, or you've stayed in situations long past their sell-by-date, it's time to discover the difference.  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

Have someone's lies baffled you because you thought that it was so ridiculous or unnecessary or that it was undeserved given how much effort you've put in? Has discovering a white lie caused you to question your future with someone because of how honest you believe you to be? Do you find it really triggering to be lied to, or to try to be honest with others? In this week's episode, Natalie delves...

Do you know where you learned your break-up habits? It's safe to say that it wasn't on the curriculum at school. Old memories and associations, especially ones we may have long forgotten, along with underlying concerns about avoiding things we fear or dislike, contribute to how we respond to being broken up with or us ending a relationship.  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

For many of us, the idea of willfully crossing somebody's boundaries sends a shiver through us. In fact, we'll often cross our own boundaries to accommodate those of others! But some people just don't give a fiddle about other people's boundaries, something we'll often blame ourselves for. Natalie explains the reasons behind their boundary aversion.  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

A key factor in people feeling stuck in a painful situation or stuck obsessing about what went down is an extended period prior to the events of being starved of, for example, attention, affection, connection or intimacy. In this episode, Natalie explains The Lean Period and how being activated and then eventually hurt and disappointed leads to the loop of entitlement that creates stuckness.  Inst...

Many of us find it difficult to let go of past situations whether it's about our actions or those of others. It's not that we don't want to per se, but our confusing relationship with forgiveness, including believing that it presses the reset button, actually gets in the way of us moving forward. Natalie talks about what letting go truly means.  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

Natalie talks about blind spots and why we've got to stop clinging to assumptions about what a relationship-worthy person looks like (hint: it's more than "charming, good-looking, smart") or them claiming that they're in therapy, meditators or working in a particular profession. Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

Ever felt as if you did wrong by asserting a boundary because the other party didn't respond positively or you didn't get what you wanted? Well, having healthy boundaries isn't the problem, and in this episode, Natalie explains what's really going on in this situation.  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

It's been two years since Natalie's father passed away. In this week's episode, she talks about how grief, something that we go through when we experience any form of loss, not just bereavement, grows you... whether you want it to or not.  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

So many people who have a frustrating pattern are unaware that they're driven by negative and contradictory associations with love, relationships, success and being more of who they really are. In this episode, Natalie talks about why fear of sacrifice, loss and being trapped are so prevalent in our experiences.  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

Did you know that three days before Natalie met Em, she broke it off with a guy that she'd been dating for three weeks? She would have finished it sooner had she not doubted herself and listened to well-meaning friends who told her that she was being "hasty" and "picky". In this episode, Natalie talks about why loved ones give bad advice and why we don't have to go along with it to spare their fee...

A challenge that often presents itself while dating is the struggle to stay hopeful and grounded while pursuing our need or desire for a relationship. Natalie talks about the key sources of anxiety and why, ultimately, 'efforting' isn't going to control (or change) the time frame or what prospective partners do so we might as well get on with the business of being us and living. Instagram  |  Even...

Does someone really need to do the equivalent of giving us a one-star review by going out of their way to make us aware of their dislike of us? Do we need to let our ex know that we're "over" them? Why did they put themselves on Tinder right after they made plans to move or be away for some time? What's the craic with people doing us wrong and then saying "It hurts me more than (or as much as) it...

Are you feeling typecast by your experiences and pattern? A role is a job or function that we take on within our interpersonal relationships in order to 'be good' and 'help out'… even if what we're doing is harmful instead of helpful. In this episode, Natalie breaks down why we play particular roles including sharing 60+ examples and why roles, ultimately, sabotage intimacy as well as our potentia...

When you go on dates or are in a relationship, who is it that shows up? Is it you, the whole you and nothing but you? Or, is it your representative, the persona you send out that's a glossier or more watered-down version of you that you think does the best job of selling you as future partner or spouse material? Natalie talks about the perils of letting your 'dating and relationship self' overshad...

What do you do when you feel as if you've failed at something? Shame you? Shrink into yourself and isolate? Pick you apart in an attempt to figure out what's wrong with you? Turn your failure into a secret that you need to cart around in your emotional baggage? Natalie shares why she won't be doing any of these things and uses a recent experience and its parallels with dating and relationships to...