The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where it becomes apparent that we're not taking the best care of ourselves, but also, that the other party is benefitting from it. Natalie talks about why even though we can do something, like keep messing with someone who is way more into us than we are, it doesn't mean that we should.   Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

Have you ever experienced stonewalling in a relationship (or possibly engaged in it yourself)? In another episode about understanding and improving communication in our intimate relationships, Natalie breaks down stonewalling including delving into three common scenarios: Shutting down expressing of feelings, thoughts and concerns. Using stonewalling and silent treatment to communicate displeasure...

Natalie talks about why not knowing what you want doesn't have to mean something terrible and why it's going to be tricky to listen to what you want if you're not listening to and meeting your needs.  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

Meeting someone new sometimes causes us to become preoccupied with answering the question 'Are you trustworthy?' When things are going well in an area of our life, this sometimes also causes us to wonder 'When are things going to go wrong?' Natalie talks about the anxiety of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

Something that makes so many of us nervous is navigating conflict within romantic relationships. Natalie revisits her five stages of relationship framework to explain conflict and how it's part of deepening intimacy in relationships and becoming more self-aware.  *Please note*: The correct date for the New York workshop mentioned in the episode is May 24th not 23rd. Doh! Instagram  |  Events  |  B...

Some people feel confused, angry and hurt when their relationship doesn't work out because they believed that the person 'should' have delivered because of self-care practices they engaged in. Natalie explains why just because someone journals, meditates, goes to yoga or therapy, it doesn't mean that they're super emotionally intelligent, really good at relationships or, yes, 'better' than you.   ...

Have you ever freaked out about something, noticed that you are, continued to freak out somewhat, but then calmed down? That's what happened to Natalie recently when her daughter had to prepare for five exams in one day. She shares lessons from that experience, including why we panic about "failing" at a decision and this notion that our younger self had to get everything "right" for us to have a...

Texting anxiety has become increasingly prevalent over the years. Between read receipts, being able to see if they're online or when they were last online, seeing someone type and then pause, and seeing their likes on social media while you await a reply, it's pretty easy to destroy our inner peace. But what about when you're experiencing this while dating? Natalie explains why we drive ourselves...

Trying to get something or someone to live up to the picture we painted in our mind can be a great source of hurt for us humans. It's something we have to strive to do less of to heal, grow and learn. What Natalie highlights in the first episode of 2020, though, is how part of what keeps us stuck in this disappointment cycle is that, sometimes, the very people who can't or don't want to meet those...

Natalie gets ready for her Christmas break and the new year and decade ahead by sharing her thoughts on the gift of acceptance.  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

So many people wonder if they're in the right relationship, but plenty wonder if they're in the right job. Given how much time we spend at work, it's understandable that disillusionment or uncertainty about it can significantly impact our sense of wellbeing. Natalie takes a deep dive into the subject of work, including what causes us to question whether we're in the right job in the first place an...

In the second of this two-part episode ( part one ), Natalie shares ideas for breaking the cycle of comparison. Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

Do you feel inadequate around certain people or suddenly feel as if your life that you're normally happy with is like poop beside theirs? Do you come away from using social media feeling really low without realising it? Is there a persistent feeling and belief that you're not 'good enough'? These are all signs of comparison, something that all humans do but that we're often unaware of how much and...

All humans desire acceptance the most, but a hell of a lot of us are scared of the real us being rejected and so we struggle to be ourselves. But this always leads to problems. Natalie shares lessons she's learned from spending the last few months conducting an experiment on being even more herself in a particular area of her life.  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

Have you given you a hard time about interested in something or someone that turned out to be wrong for you? Or, has someone's change of interest in you or a relationship left you baffled and hurt? In this week's episode, Natalie explains why it's time to rethink our attitude to interest and recognise that interest is a hypothesis that we can learn from so that we can be more us and choose the rel...

If you've ever been self-critical because you're stressed or feeling overwhelmed or low-energy, it's time to pay attention to these messages from your life. Natalie talks about the importance of recognising that we're stressed and over our bandwidth without having to burn out or melt down. Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership You Tube episode about mental health and black women

Tend to be hard on you and, for example, struggle to ask for help, feel like a burden, feel guilty for saying no, being you or having boundaries, or feel as if you parented your parents, raised your siblings or brought yourself up? There's a reason for that!  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

When we think that we (or others) are 'damaged goods' because of what might be a lack of relationship experience or time spent in unhealthy or unfulfilling relationships, this dents our confidence, limits our options, but also creates unnecessary judgement. Natalie offers up a different perspective on what the experience on our proverbial relationship resume means (and doesn't).  Instagram  |  Eve...

What's the similarity between engaging with an ex who didn't treat us very well, feeling burnt out and resentful after taking on extra work, and deliberating about or regretting something that we know isn't/wasn't a fit? They're all things that we've done or are contemplating doing *because* we perceive them to be "opportunities". Natalie breaks down why we need to be more discerning about opportu...

Do you hoard, clamp, shoot, get chatty, deny/mask or cry when you need to deal with uncomfortable feelings. Natalie follows up on the previous episode about why we don't talk about our feelings by sharing six key ways we express (or don't express) our feelings and how to evolve our habits.  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

Expressing our feelings, not just to others, but also to ourselves, is crucial to our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing as well as to the health and wealth of our interpersonal relationships. So, why then, do so many of us have a pattern of not expressing our feelings? Natalie explores these reasons and more in this episode, plus in the follow-up episode next week, she'll get int...

When people ask or expect you to do something, or you're wondering whether there's a boundary issue, do you question whether you are being fair and reasonable in wanting or needing to say/show no? Or do you struggle to work out whether *they're* being unfair and unreasonable? If so, help is at hand. Natalie breaks down how to figure this out by acknowledging the context including your bandwidth, f...

If you've ever played matchmaker and had it backfire, or you've felt confused after being set up or recommending somebody, today's episode is for you. Natalie delves into some of the assumptions, biases and judgements that impair our judgement and shares tips for removing blind spots and enjoying more successful outcomes.  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership

How do you feel when you realise or sense that someone doesn't like you? If intrusive thoughts about this have popped up more than you would like and even kept you awake at night, you are far from being alone. Natalie shares some of the reasons why humans dislike each other. She also talks about why not being liked bothers us so much, how we are often most bothered when it's someone we don't like...

Natalie does a quick catch-up before going on her summer break until September.  Instagram  |  Events  |  Blog |  Membership