The B Movie Beatdown

We need to know if a wendigo is a cryptid! This week we've booked a cruise from Central America for CHUPACABRA: DARK SEAS (2005)! We get more of the fantabulous John Rhys-Davies and a surprising appearance of Giancarlo Esposito. It's rough seas ahead but at least the water is warm. Wait, that's not water, it's blood. Oh my goooood. Instagram: @bmoviebeat Facebook: The B Movie Beatdown Email: thebm...

Zorlock?! I hardly know her! This week we're back for another tabletop session with MYTHICA: The NECROMANCER (2015). This time we're bringing Pete into the fold. Did he watch the first two? No, no he did not. Did we tell him what happened? Also No. Get ready for a movie that's all filler and no substance. Seriously, this one could have been an email.

Oi! This week we're busting out the subtitles for Guy Ritchie's first film LOCK, STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS (1998). Prepare for fast talk, comedic beats, and an interwoven story that'll leave your head spinning. So don't lose those antique shotguns and make sure you bring a matching trench coat.

Cuby-dooby-doo! We enter the cube for the (possibly) finale time with CUBE ZERO (2004)! This somehow has some of the best and worst practical effects in the franchise; the good kind that's ewy gooey and makes you cringe and the terribly bad kind of Jax's doll eye that takes you out of the movie. Get ready to lose your boots, again.   Instagram: @bmoviebeat Facebook: The B Movie Beatdown Email: the...

One oiled up cowboy coming right up! And he has the right tool for the job...by tool I mean his penis. There's also a chick named June Knockers and boy does she got some big ones. Okay, I'm done. This week we head back into the Sidariverse to cover the one that started the Bombs, Bullets, and Babes series: MALIBU EXPRESS (1985)! Is it the best Andy Sidaris movie we've done? No, but its definitely...

This was bad! We're doing GRIZZLY II: REVENGE (1983/2021), a film that should have stayed gone. Plagued by production problems, this is a big bowl of nothing with boring sauce and a side of regret. Get ready for a movie filled with stock footage and immense disappointment.   Instagram: @bmoviebeat Facebook: The B Movie Beatdown Email: thebmoviebeatdown@gmail.com Letterboxd: @Absolute_trash @Slende...

Finally! We are finally giving you the promised: TREMORS II: AFTERSHOCKS (1990)! The worms are back baby and something ain't right.  Fredward is leading the boys down to Mexico in this one, so let's load up the truck with some RC cars, and enough explosives to level an oil refinery. Of course, we didn't forget the umbrella this time. Instagram: @bmoviebeat Facebook: The B Movie Beatdown Email: the...

Don't call her babe! This week we're bringing you some real trash with BARB WIRE (1996)! We have Pamela Anderson doing stuff in a dystopian America where things happen. I hope you brought something to do because this one doesn't get off the ground until we're halfway through. Instagram: @bmoviebeat Facebook: The B Movie Beatdown Email: thebmoviebeatdown@gmail.com Letterboxd: @Absolute_trash @Slend...

  Bears!, and we're not talking daddies! This week we're heading into a national forest as we hunt for a GRIZZLY (1976)! We'll be yelling for Ranger Kelly as a bear rips off our arms, legs and heads. Knives don't cut it. Guns don't pierce it. Someone get the rocket launcher!   Instagram: @bmoviebeat Facebook: The B Movie Beatdown Email: thebmoviebeatdown@gmail.com Letterboxd: @Absolute_trash @Slen...

Snikt! Time for the biggest Blockbuster in Beatdown history. A budget so vast that the total eclipses every Beatdown prior. A mountain of cold hard cash that could only be used to make the greatest film ever made. That's right, we're covering X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE (2009)! Instagram: @bmoviebeat Facebook: The B Movie Beatdown Email: thebmoviebeatdown@gmail.com Letterboxd: @Absolute_trash @Slende...

It's Rebruary! You know him, you love him, give it up for Reb Brown and another rip-off that's better than the rest: STRIKE COMMANDO (1987)! Reb plays a 4x sole survivor out for vengeance in the mean jungles of Milan. I mean Manilla, but it's hard to tell when we have some very Italian Russians. Anyways, here, have some more Reb Brown. Instagram: @bmoviebeat Facebook: The B Movie Beatdown Email: t...

Blackpowder! We're going to a post-apocalyptic desert with crazy cars, football pad armor, and so many explosions you'll end up with tinnitus with RAIDERS OF THE SUN (1992)! Get ready for two - count it - TWO storylines that touch tips and fight over who is the most mediocre in this literal sleeper hit. Speaking of hitting anything, you won't need to worry about that, because these guys can't even...

Hey Boogeyman - let's boogie! This week we're inviting you to the unholy matrimony of Paul and Christie in MORTUARY (1982)! So get ready to embalm your loved ones and give a toast to the lovely new couple. Instagram: @bmoviebeat Facebook: The B Movie Beatdown Email: thebmoviebeatdown@gmail.com Letterboxd: @Absolute_trash @SlenderJames   @Petedown

Bonk! One by one we'll be getting knocked out and dragged into the basement of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974)! That's right, we're doing the grandfather of slashers this week, so get ready to hate on Franklin and question the horrible choices and laugh at their pain. I hope I get turned into a pretty lampshade. Instagram: @bmoviebeat Facebook: The B Movie Beatdown Email: thebmoviebeatdown@gmai...

Welcome to the First Annual Beaty's Part II awards! YOU voted, YOU waited, now WE get to share the winners of the 2025 Beaty's. So go get dolled up in your comfiest robe, pour yourself a whiskey in the biggest glass you own, and join us to induct these new members into our annals. Instagram: @bmoviebeat Facebook: The B Movie Beatdown Email: thebmoviebeatdown@gmail.com Letterboxd: @Absolute_trash @...

Necromancer? I hardly know her! This week we are continuing down the mystical world of MYTHICA: THE DARKSPORE (2015)! Everyone is back for their second dose of fantasy adventure, and this time we have an oiled-up elf named Qole that's causing a stir. So, polish off that armor and hone that sword edge, because we just leveled up. Instagram: @bmoviebeat Facebook: The B Movie Beatdown Email: thebmovi...

Ogre?! I barely know her! This week, we're embarking on an adventure with MYTHICA: A QUEST FOR HEROES (2014)! A fantasy flick where a dwarf decapitates someone with a sick axe throw. We've got the usual love at first sight, and yet everyone just keeps talking about Marek's club foot. So strap on your armor and sharpen your swords, because we have damsels to save. It's time to roll initiative.   In...

Sorry folks! No Beatys this week. The Beaty's will return at a later date, but for now we have to be like those losers at the academy and do our award show in the following year. We love you all, and we're looking forward to bringing you more content!

She's flickin it all night long! This week we're watching one chick flick it all day and all night, in BLOODBEAT (1983). And boy did she beat it. Not only in the bedroom, but in the mind of a suit of samurai armor that goes on a bloody rampage, which is as cool as this movie gets.   Instagram: @bmoviebeat Facebook: The B Movie Beatdown Email: thebmoviebeatdown@gmail.com Letterboxd: @Absolute_trash...

No episode this week! Go vote for the Beaty's and join us next week for Bloodbeat! Vote here: https://forms.gle/gS7gLP444NxUPVbt8 Instagram: @bmoviebeat Facebook: The B Movie Beatdown Email: thebmoviebeatdown@gmail.com Letterboxd: @Absolute_trash @SlenderJames   @Petedown

More like Summer of 80 - Bore! This week we're checking out the murder mystery SUMMER OF 84 (2018)! Instead of subverting expectations, this film chose simplicity, predictability, and ultimately, boredom. I'm falling asleep just thinking about it, so grab your GI Joe walkie-talkie and get ready to fall asleep to this nostalgia bait Honeypot.   Instagram: @bmoviebeat Facebook: The B Movie Beatdown...

Oops, all boobies! This week we're getting all hot and bothered with PICASSO TRIGGER (1988), Andy Sidaris is back with more Bombs, Bullets, and Babes than you can shake a stick at, and a couple dudes who made a dime shaking their sticks if you know what I mean. I think we all know our priorities on this one. Let's just say we didn't come for the plot. Instagram: @bmoviebeat Facebook: The B Movie B...

DOCTOR SATAN! All aboard a most dark and terrifying ride, this week we're doing HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES (2003)! It's gritty, it's gross, it's got Sid Haig stealing every scene, even when he's not in it. Grab yourself some of Captain Spaulding's Famous Fried Chicken, and strap in for a twisted horror homage.   Instagram: @bmoviebeat Facebook: The B Movie Beatdown Email: thebmoviebeatdown@gmail.com Le...

Aylmer's got a boner, and he wants to put it in your ear! Slow drip that psychedelic blue juice onto our brains, because we're chasin' the dragon this week with BRAIN DAMAGE (1988)! Frank Henenlotter is here once again to make us feel uncomfortable, while we gently bob our heads to this film's great soundtrack. There's no easy way to say it. We're getting dirty with this one.   Instagram: @bmovieb...

Sheesh you're pushy! This week, we're bringing you a Blockbuster Beatdown with THE PREDATOR (2018)! Made for $88 million dollars, stacked with a surprisingly all-star cast and more one liners than bullets. There's a lot going for this film and a lot more going against it.  Instagram:  @bmoviebeat Facebook: The B Movie Beatdown Email: thebmoviebeatdown@gmail.com Letterboxd: @Absolute_trash @Slender...