The Art of We

Don’t want a boring relationship? Then listen to this episode. When you feel like you’re stuck on a hamster wheel of life, it can negatively impact your partnership. One of our marriage vows is to live and lead from desire, meaning we’re committed to charting our own path and embodying our authentic expression versus defaulting to the stifling messaging we received growing up. In this episode, we...

A power couple is fueled by two things: their love for each other and their internal drive to make a difference in the world. In this episode, we unpack our interpretation of what a power couple is, share questions that can help you determine whether you’re in a power partnership, and also explore ideas about how to get there.  We've created the kind of partnership that we both dreamed was po...

When you’re asking yourself if you should stay in a relationship or leave it behind, it can feel painful and confusing, even heartbreaking. In our previous relationships, we grappled with this dilemma a lot and dealt with it in different ways. There are various scenarios that might lead you to question the future of your partnership, and in this episode, we share how we navigated that period of ou...

Working with defensiveness is like an art. We’ve found that explicitly talking about what we each need when we are in a defensive state has really supported us to more easily and successfully make it through those fiery and challenging times. In this episode, we explore the impact of defensiveness, ways that we support ourselves and our partners in the heat of the moment. Like most behavior change...

Do you have control over your perfectionism or does it have control over you? Today we get into the pros and cons of perfectionism and the impact it has on our “We.” We illustrate ways that we work with perfectionism, both individually and together, and also the ripple effect that it has on our relationship when we don’t address it. Perfectionism tends to get a bad rap, but when it doesn’t have yo...

As mission-based people, it’s culturally acceptable to constantly be tethered to our phones, but what happens when being at the beck and call of our business gets in the way of authentic and deep connection? In this episode, we explore the impact that technology overuse has on our relationship and work on crafting a new agreement about using our phones after working hours.  Since starting the...

In this episode, we unpack five signs that your relationship might be in trouble or indicate roadblocks to creating the type of partnership that’s a powerful and positive force to be reckoned with. In our combined 40 years of being in relationship, we share why these five are at the top of the list and are crucial to address for a long-term fulfilling and extraordinary “We.” It’s easy to create a...

In this episode, we take a look at the (unsexy) impact of complaining inside primary relationships and we share our agreement around holding and handling complaints in our marriage.  When it comes to personal development and deepening relationships, there often comes a point when we’re faced with the reality of how complaining hinders our growth and possibilities. When there’s a lingering sen...

One of the foundational agreements we’ve made in our partnership is a commitment to “true mutuality” and “mutual responsibility.” In this episode, we elaborate on what it looks like to bring mutual ownership to all of our outcomes, how we work with cultural programming regarding roles and responsibilities, and how we work through challenges that come up in this collaborative approach.  For us...

The rise of psychedelic-assisted therapy marks a new phase in mental health care, but the modality is wrapped up in layers of misinformation and stigma. After Will joined the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies as a study physician, our understanding of psychedelic therapy completely shifted.  In this episode, we discuss the impactful results of key clinical trials and what...

If you're in a relationship, you most likely experience conflict. It doesn’t always look like explosive fights or constant bickering — it might also manifest as living parallel lives, lacking deeper connection and having different priorities. In this episode, we share what we believe is at the source of this conflict for couples and our strategy for moving into a more collaborative “We” experience...

The Netflix series called “How to Build a Sex Room” is sparking conversations for us around sex, sensuality, and pleasure. In this episode, we share our review of the series and unpack topics including deprogramming cultural norms, why a sex room could be supportive in a partnership, the conversations many couples don’t have, and personal shares of what we’re doing to expand our expression of auth...

Our agreement to “protect each other in public and in private, even from ourselves,” helps us experience higher levels of  trust and security in our partnership. This commitment requires that we examine less conscious behaviors and patterns that can easily slip under the radar and create undesirable impacts on our “We.” In this episode, we discuss what this looks like in practice and why it’s...

When outside situations or people become a source of distraction to one of the partners in a relationship, or poses a threat to the connection of the two partners, we often refer to this as an ‘unmanaged third.’ When left unattended, it can be a major catalyst for causing rupture and disconnection. In our conversation, we illustrate some examples of unmanaged thirds in our dynamic and how we deal...

When someone says or does something that negatively impacts you, what’s your default assumption about their intention? It’s hard to assume positive intent when you feel triggered, but committing to that as a practice is an opportunity for taking greater leadership in relationship. We’ve made it a vow to practice getting into each other’s worlds around impact and intention, and in today's episode,...

It’s essential to find true alignment in decision making when operating from ‘the We’ perspective, whether it's intimate or business, to help us accomplish our goals, stay on track with our mission, and develop a deeper connection with each other. And, it’s not always easy! In this episode, we discuss our agreement to put ‘the We’ first when making decisions and work through an example of what we...

We’ve found that getting stuck in our familiar victim mindset patterns often stops us from achieving the goals and desires that we deeply hold in our hearts. So, what can we do from a psychological perspective to get out of our own way? In this episode, we share the different tools and modalities that we personally use to address challenging imprints from childhood that can cause unwanted results....

What do you do when your core connection and trust in your desire is called into question? We’ve all had experiences that have rocked our foundations, perhaps the loss of a loved one, an unwelcome career change, or in our case recently, the unexpected damage and demolition of our dream home. In this episode, we explore the idea of faith in the spiritual context and discuss what we do when we’re fe...

One of the foundational elements for us as individuals and within our relationship is to take a stand for our mission and vision. In this episode, we explore the long-term goals that we have for our careers and marriage.  There’s a deep emotional commitment required for making your dreams come true. That drive often directs your action, communication, and mindset. Since we opened the Integrat...

One of the greatest gifts we can give somebody is to generously listen to them. When we tune in for the contribution, value, or lesson of what someone is saying, we create a new level of commitment and presence. So often, people compose their responses while the other person is talking. Instead of listening with curiosity and intention, we put up unconscious filters and get distracted. By practici...

Our comings and goings were some of the most challenging moments in our relationship, so it's really important for us to have a moment of actual contact and presence with each other before we leave each other. And when we come together, when we re-dock, we intentionally have a moment of actual presence, setting everything else aside.  In this episode, we talk with you about things that help u...

In the episode, we break down our interpretation of “the We” and how we hold it. This concept really helps us show up as better partners, stay grounded in our vows, and bring things forward that we might not expect.  We share what it looks like to take mutual responsibility for the health of our connection and provide examples of how we use “the We” perspective in other relationships besides...

The framework of our vows keeps us grounded and willing to engage in conversations that can be challenging or uncomfortable. In this episode, we explore our vow to live from the knowing that we both win from each other’s successes. We dive into the essence of being for each other's success, how we challenge and support each other to grow, and describe what this practice could look like in the work...

Everybody has attachment styles, and if we're not conscious of what they are, it can be really challenging to navigate relationships. In this episode, we break down the most common attachment styles and discuss some tools that can help reduce the root causes of anxiety.  The ambivalent attached person is more concerned about abandonment, and the avoidant person typically is more concerned abo...

In this episode, we discuss another agreement in our marriage that has had a profound impact on our partnership: commitment to always finding possibility. We dive into what it means to see possibility, examples of how we’ve navigated this agreement together, and ways to start exploring new solutions.  Our early experiences often define our limitations and what we see as possible for our lives...