The Art of We

To sleep or not to sleep together? Celebrity couples like Cameron Diaz, and supposedly the Beckhams, are coming out about sleeping in separate bedrooms. On this episode of “The Art of We” we share our take on the benefits and drawbacks of both scenarios, and address the narrative that there’s something wrong in the relationship if couples are sleeping separately. Given the importance of sleep for...

This definition of the “We” elevates partnership beyond the conventional. Listen in to hear a conversation between us, Krista and Dr. Will, that frames how we view our relationship such that we more quickly can make decisions, work as a team, and operate at higher levels of functioning.  In episode 76 we revisit a fundamental concept of “The Art Of We.” You’ll hear personal anecdotes and prof...

In this episode, Dr. Will and Krista Van Derveer work through a challenge in real-time, sharing a raw and unscripted exploration of navigating work-from-home challenges. Without the safety net of rehearsals or preparations, listeners are granted an intimate glimpse into the dynamics of how they work through conflict while standing for both individual needs and collective harmony. Faced with the ad...

Addressing passive-aggressive comments like a ninja is highly satisfying. It can stop the aggressor in their shoes and wake them up to the impact they’re having. Most passive aggressive comments are simply unskilled communications of negative feelings. By directly and neutrally addressing passive aggressiveness, we can support each other to grow as human beings.  In episode 74 of the Art of W...

In episode 73 of "The Art of We" podcast, hosts Krista and Dr. Will Van Derveer explore the concept that when individuals are genuinely supported within their partnerships, they unlock a unique level of potential that can be a pivotal foundation for personal growth and achieving one's greatest successes, and that transcends an individual’s mere high-functioning ability.  They illuminate how t...

In episode 72 of the Art of We podcast, Dr. Will and Krista Van Derveer explore the value of conscious relationship endings, offering a transformative perspective on closure. This conversation not only equips listeners with strategies for achieving closure but also highlights the significance of embracing endings as a gateway to greater alignment with one’s true path. The hosts share their persona...

In episode 71 of The Art of We podcast, Dr. Will and Krista Van Derveer share the challenges they encounter in their partnership with one person being an introvert and one being an extrovert. The differences in social needs can be a source of hardship when left unaddressed, however when there’s deeper understanding and collaboration, these differences can turn into a solid source of connection. Li...

In episode 70 of the Art of We podcast, Dr. Will and Krista Van Derveer dive into the nuanced world of relational trauma, exploring how past traumas from previous relationships can manifest and affect current relationships. This episode offers deep insights into the nature of relational trauma, the impact of unhealed scars on one's sense of self, and the patterns that emerge as a cry for attention...

In episode 69 of the Art of We podcast, hosts Krista and Dr. Will Van Derveer focus on the critical distinctions between codependency and interdependency. The conversation highlights how codependency often stems from good intentions but leads to disempowerment and stuckness within relationships, especially when one partner enables the other. By contrast, interdependency is presented as a healthier...

In episode 68 of the Art of We podcast, hosts Krista and Dr. Will Van Derveer explore the complexities of driving together as a couple, a topic that brings challenges for many couples. They share their own personal challenges together, including how driving styles and passenger experiences can reveal deeper dynamics in relationships, highlighting the importance of communication and understanding.&...

In episode 67 of "The Art of We" podcast, hosts Krista and Dr. Will Van Derveer address a listener’s question about the difference between values and agreements in relationships. The hosts get into defining how values are used in different ways, and how to “operationalize” the values by turning them into agreements so they can actively live inside the partnership. The conversation extends to the b...

In "The Art of We" Episode 66, hosts Dr. Will Van Derveer and Krista Van Derveer take a deep dive into the essence of relationship agreements. Building on the momentum from Episode 65, this discussion explores how couples can effectively create, sustain, and evolve their agreements, and specifically what happens when you make the agreements but then one or both of the partners don’t keep them.&nbs...

In episode 65 of "The Art of the Podcast," hosts Dr. Will Van Derveer and Krista Van Derveer share how to form relationship agreements in intimate partnerships, and the extraordinary kind of partnership that becomes possible when we move away from assumptions of how each other will behave and into mutually aligned agreements about how we do relationship together.  The episode dives into speci...

In episode 64 of "The Art of We" podcast, hosts Dr. Will Van Derveer and Krista Van Derveer explore the intricate dynamics of conscious adult partnership with their dear friends and relationship experts Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder. This deeply personal episode is a dialogue about viewing relationships as a growth path and the nuanced complexities of practicing secure functioning together. The d...

In episode 63 of “The Art of We Podcast”, hosts Krista and Dr. Will Van Derveer invite listeners to set a theme for their partnership this new year. Their second year creating a theme, they share the power behind a mutually agreed upon, fully aligned, “North Star” that’s different than goal setting but that sets the stage for the quality of life their “We” most needs in the coming year.  You’...

Welcome to Episode 62 of "The Art of We" Podcast – a special episode marking the completion of our commitment to a full year of weekly episodes in 2023. In this episode we share how we will be reviewing this past year and our new and unique way of setting “We” Goals for this coming year.  We introduce how we are tweaking our annual review process, which involves examining Demartini’s seven ke...

Welcome to Episode 61 of The Art of the Podcast! In this second-to-last episode of the year, Krista and Will delve into practical practices that can provide support to our partners during family gatherings and social events, especially during the darker time of the year. Released on the solstice, this episode aims to bring more light into your relationships during the festive season. You’ll hear s...

In this podcast episode, Dr. Will Van Derveer and Krista Van Derveer engage in a thoughtful discussion on the topics of purpose and purposeful action. Driven by their experiences, they highlight the energetic difference between purposeful action, where one consciously moves toward significant goals, and non-purposeful action, characterized by a sense of tension, anxiety, and purposelessness. ...

In Episode 59 of The Art of We Podcast, hosts Dr. Will and Krista Van Derveer delve into the theme of "Gambling Everything for Love." In this podcast episode, the hosts explore how this commitment (which they turned into a wedding vow) represents the fullest expression of limitless possibilities in a relationship. By risking old survival strategies that may hinder genuine connection, the hosts emp...

In Episode 58 of the Art of We podcast, Dr. Will and Krista Van Derveer delve into another foundational agreement turned vow in their relationship. Join them as they explore the nuances of supporting each other's greatest expression and the pivotal role it plays in their partnership. The hosts share personal experiences, emphasizing the necessity of a secure home base for authentic expression and...

In episode 57 of the "Art of We" podcast, hosts Krista and Dr. Will Van Derveer discuss the epidemic of loneliness and isolation, particularly during the darker and colder days of the year. They emphasize the importance of normalizing these feelings and acknowledge that even individuals in strong partnerships or with supportive communities often experience a version of loneliness.  Dr. Will s...

In episode 56 of the "Art of We" podcast, hosts Krista and Dr. Will Van Derveer delve into the intricate relationship between personal and professional growth and what can be possible inside professional relationships that have varying hierarchical structures or power dynamics.  They revisit Stan Taktin’s concept of "secure functioning" and introduce their We Operating System (WeOS), a framew...

In this episode of "The Art of We," Dr. Will Van Derveer and Krista Van Derveer delve into the fascinating journey of transitioning from a "me-first" mindset to a "we-focused" perspective in both personal and professional leadership. Dr. Will shares his evolution from a solo psychiatrist to a leader in a large organization, highlighting the challenges and insights gained along the way. Episode Hig...

Welcome to Episode 54 of "The Art of We" podcast. In this episode, we explore two essential aspects why agreements are vital for the success of relationships, both at home and in the workplace. Too often, we only focus on what we need to “do” to accomplish our goals, rather than understanding the security of our relationships is an essential part to accomplishing our goals. Relationship agreements...

In episode 53, Dr. Will Van Derveer and Krista Van Derveer dive deep into the complexities of selecting the right business partner. They embark on a journey through the early stages of forming a business partnership or co-founder relationship, offering valuable insights and wisdom that go beyond conventional advice found online. The episode begins by likening the initial partnership discussions to...