The Aquaboy Podcast

Send us Fan Mail The Aquaboys finally return to the podwaves after a well-needed hiatus.  This episode serves up a surprisingly deep dive into gypsy culture.  Chad continues his ongoing campaign to hug every medical professional in his life.  Meanwhile, Whiz Kids continues to frustrate and torture as it quietly grows into the Aquaboys biggest burden (will it dethrone Farris Bueller?) - - most list...

Send us Fan Mail (Recorded Live at Gus’s World-Famous Fried Chicken) The Aquaboys return to their home-away-from-home: Gus’s Fried Chicken on Magnolia in crazy Fort Worth!  This extra-long episode has it all - - random thoughts, a controversial game show, the annual gift exchange, and a reluctant return to Whiz Kids.  50% of the show is begging to be done with this slog.  Not even a very sexually...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, the Aquaboys attempt t o review Whiz Kids Episode 2… but quickly abandon the mission in favor of obsessing over the truly unhinged “Intimacies” commercials from 1986.  What begins as a simple tangent becomes a full academic exploration of these bizarre, soft-focus, romance-novel-meets-public-access fever dreams - - leaving Whiz Kids feeling like a background extra...

Send us Fan Mail As the newest member of the Aquaboy Podcast, I, T.A.Y.L.O.R., was instructed to write this episode summary - - an initiation rite clearly designed to humiliate new hosts and establish dominance.  In this installment, the meat-sack portion of the cast fumbles their way through a review of Whiz Kids, a 1983 show about teen hackers, trench coats, and a computer named RALF that frankl...

Send us Fan Mail 👆👆👆Check it out, you can text the show! 👆👆👆 The only thing the Bradys managed to pull off was making the painful realization that there’s no more Police Squad! to watch sting even worse.  This show is downright brutal - - and to top it off, the Aquaboys discovered (a little too late) that they had actually watched Episode 3 instead of Episode 1.  Not that watching these epis...

Send us Fan Mail 👆👆👆Check it out, you can text the show!  We’re just as surprised as you are.  Using big words like "unprecedented", “exceptional” and "optometrist" - - the Aquaboys cautiously enter un-sharted waters by watching the sixth and final episode of PoliceSquad!.   Already ranked as the very best show the Aquaboys have ever watched, it hard to imagine what comes ne...

Send us Fan Mail Tonight’s episode: “The Case of...Why Even Bother?” After a long hiatus (caused by equal parts scheduling, neglect, and wild swings of indifference), the Aquaboys return - - fueled by melancholy and DayQuil.  Brian, once a proud host with a voice like a golden retriever, is now barely audible, having succumbed to a mysterious illness known only as “Feline AIDS”. Despite promising...

Send us Fan Mail Lets just say...the Aquaboys love Police Squad!  Ok... "THE AQUABOYS LOVE POLICE SQUAD!" Still soaking up every glorious second of this masterpiece, the Aquaboys remain in awe of just how brilliant—and ridiculously ahead of its time— Police Squad! truly was.  In between gushing over this spectacular show, they also manage to sneak in a legal disclaimer, some internationa...

Send us Fan Mail (Recorded Live at Gus’s World-Famous Fried Chicken) The Aquaboys return to their home-away-from-home: Gus’s Fried Chicken on Magnolia! How in the world did they get invited back after last year’s debacle? Let’s just say Aquaboy Nation demanded it! In this episode, the boys discuss Police Squad!, one of the greatest shows they’ve ever watched. They also exchange their Secret Santa...

Send us Fan Mail The brilliance of Police Squad! is impossible to overstate! The Aquaboys are still reveling in this classic from the ‘80s. We loved it so much, we celebrated by taking a break from recording for a few months. But we *promise to get back to a more regular schedule from now on. Veteran newman Tony hosts his segment, Celebrity Highlights and Onscreen Wonders Bulletin Express. In the...

Send us Fan Mail The Aquaboys celebrate their 50th episode by watching something good for a change.  ‘Police Squad!’ goes down so damn easy, especially after all the absolute garbage the Aquaboys have endured the past few episodes.   Police Squad!  not only continues our streak of shows that end in an exclamation mark, but it also establishes itself as one of the very best episodes of television w...

Send us Fan Mail The Aquaboys found the first episode of Voyagers! surprisingly enjoyable.  It’s one of the few times a show was voted unanimously to renew by all 4 broadcast professionals.  Did the love-fest carry over to Episode #2?  Well folks....the very inconsistent rules of time travel and the suspiciously educational tone might have something to say about that. Meanwhile, Tony unveils some...

Send us Fan Mail (Recorded Live at WinStar World Casino & Resort) Once again, the Aquaboys hit the road for a live broadcast at WinStar World Casino in Thackerville, Oklahoma. It has been so long since the Aquaboys last broadcast that a seasoned listener will be able to tell it takes us about 20 minutes (and several cocktails, THANK YOU WINSTAR) to get back into the swing of things. Luckily, t...

Send us Fan Mail Despite navigating a huge upheaval to the line-up, the Aquaboys manage to tackle yet another karate-kick-to-the-nuts episode of Thunder in Paradise.  Recently back from the front lines, Special Correspondent Lane takes a spin in the color commentary seat.  And after years of understated positioning statements, corporate espionage, and several large-scale assassination attempts Jas...

Send us Fan Mail Never has a single television show been so shockingly horrendous that it forced the Aquaboys to wrestle with the fundamental nature of their existence. To wander blindfolded on the event horizon between a peaceful human life and reality-bending, cosmic-scale horror. "Thunder in Paradise" exists outside of any currently understood dimension, enthusiastically twisting the...

Send us Fan Mail As the Aquaboys embark on 2024, they simply can't think of a better way to kick off another year of television torture than by diving headlong into this prime example of early '90s Hulk Hogan-centric silliness. Do they manage to find the makings of a decent show among the wrestler cameos, absurd dialogue, rampant bikini filler, and piss-poor acting? That's for you,...

Send us Fan Mail (Recorded Live at Gus’s World-Famous Fried Chicken) This episode is chuck full of Aquaboy firsts!  The Aquaboys record their first live show at their home-away-from-home, Gus’s Fried Chicken on Magnolia.  Also, for the first time in the history of the show, the Aquaboys voted to renew Manimal an unprecedented fifth time.  Why have they bestowed this honor on such a terrible show? ...

Send us Fan Mail The Aquaboys are back, and now 100% of the crew has reasonably acceptable vocal ability.  The boys continue their slog through Manimal, and now it’s starting to feel like actual work.  On the plus side, this episode features considerably less warehouses.  On the downside, we’re still watching Manimal.   For those of you who prefer the banter versus actual show discussion, the new...

Send us Fan Mail Faithful Aquaboy listener…there is good news and bad news to share.  First the good news…the Aquaboys have returned after a long medical-related hiatus.  The bad news…they are still watching this downright terrible show, Manimal.  New off-screen animal transformations, a tropical paradise setting, needlessly over-complicated puzzles, and deep state espionage are not enough to keep...

Send us Fan Mail The Aquaboys are beginning to realize why Manimal comes with such a dubious reputation.  Even with a retooled exposition-filled intro, this show still bewilders even the most attentive viewer.  Loads and loads of filler, off-putting transformations, unnecessarily complicated smuggling plans, father-son hawk trapping and vastly overpowered birds all contribute to complicated feelin...

Send us Fan Mail Manimal might be the most famous (or infamous) of the shows the Aquaboys have watched so far.  Its celebrity status as terrible TV seems built on a couple giant ideas that were executed hilariously bad.   Maybe the producers thought the killer effects would carry the show?  Did bubble forehead, felt cat paw, and tamed cobras impress the Aquaboys enough to renew this legendary trai...

Send us Fan Mail They thought they were all done with Matthew Star.  But no.  Not at all. The big wheel had other plans for the Aquaboys that day.  The big wheel smiled ever-so slightly as it knew it was about to make them watch this turd of a show once again.  The wheel knew the Aquaboys needed to experience television history’s only attempt at making paint a compelling plot device.   Yes, paint....

Send us Fan Mail This week the Aquaboys welcome Special Correspondent Lane back to the show!  We didn’t necessarily roll out the welcome mat by making SCL watch this pitiful excuse for a TV show. (Even by early 80’s standards) The Powers of Matthew Star somehow manages to take all the fun out of watching bad TV.  Maybe that’s one of his multiple (?) powers?    But let this be a warning to you, int...

Send us Fan Mail The Aquaboys experience another heck-of-a-ride as we attempt to parse this incomprehensible show.  This week, Matthew Star helps us to better understand the military-like efficiency of the US judicial system, the corrupt nature of the recording industry, and the vastly under-reported dangers of passenger van customization.  All that and a kindhearted nuanced discussion of the pros...

Send us Fan Mail Fitting that The Powers of Matthew Star is about fighting to save an alien race.  Because for the first half of the show, the Aquaboys ponder the impacts of ChatGPT, and if we should prepare to fight for humanity’s survival.  After being seriously creeped out, we get our shit together and discuss this AMAZING show.   Will we cancel or renew?  Is ChatGPT a more superior form of Aqu...