The Allender Center Podcast

We all have experienced betrayal in our relationships. We typically think of betrayal as an affair or deception, and some of us may be quick to say, "That doesn't apply to my relationship."  But what today's conversation points out is that betrayal is actually anything that disconnects us from our partner and places something else above that person we love most. These moments of betrayal can lead...

Attachment is an emotional bond we feel with another person who responds to our needs. This begins as an infant as we attach (or fail to attach) to our caregivers then extends into our adult life, often showing up in the ways we relate to others. In today's episode, Dan and Becky Allender are joined by Steve and Lisa Call from Reconnect Institute to examine how our attachment styles emerge within...

So much of our beauty and brokenness — so much of what makes us who we are today — is tied to our family of origin.  The ways in which we act, react, and interact with others are directly tied to our childhood origin stories and the hurt that we all inevitably experienced – no matter how perfect (or imperfect) our families were. Why should we spend time going back to name the hurt we experienced g...

Annie Allender Robbins and Amanda Christian join their dad, Dan Allender, for a personal and profound dialogue about how they were raised, how that shaped them, and the work that they have done as adults to discover a new width of freedom to be who they really are. Dan also reflects on healing he has found as a parent, and now a grandparent, through his relationship with his children.

According to the research of the Gottman Institute, nearly 70% of relationship conflicts are unresolvable - meaning, there is no clear right or wrong resolution. After recently celebrating their 46th wedding anniversary, Dan and Becky Allender come together to talk about conflict, particularly within the context of marriage. Throughout any relationship, conflict is inevitible - and it can look dif...

Wendell Moss, lead instructor and facilitator at the Allender Center, joins Dan Allender on the podcast this week to discuss the crucial passage of Micah 6:8:  "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." (NIV) Why are justice, mercy, and humility bound together in this passage? And how do they...

Welcome to a new year of the Allender Center Podcast! This week, Dan and Becky Allender reconvene to look forward with anticipation and expectation. Dan asks, "What do you want the year to hold? I think most people speak first of events... But I think one of the things that so seldom seems to be the primary category: who do you want to become?"

Happy New Year! As we close out 2022, Dan and Becky Allender sit down to reflect about the things they learned this year and what they wish to bring with them as they go into the new year. Listeners and friends, thank you for listening to the Allender Center Podcast this year. We are grateful every time you press "play," and are thankful for all of your comments, feedback, and encouragement. We lo...

The message of Christmas is one that disrupts the norm and turns systems of power upside down. When we examine Mary's Magnificat in Luke 1:46b-55, we see that disruption unfolding, not only in Mary's own life, but in the course of humanity. Today on the podcast, Dr. Dan Allender is joined by two guests from The Seattle SChool of Theology & Psychology: Dr. Chelle Stearns, Associate Professor of The...

We're pleased to welcome Sue Cunningham back for another episode this week. You're in for a treat: Sue shares one of her poems, "Mary and Michelangelo." She and Dan reflect both on the poem itself and on the creative interpretation process that readers or listeners may have as well.

Many of us are inspired to create during the Christmas season - perhaps through hanging up decorations, baking treats and meals to share, or dreaming up creative gifts for loved ones. But beyond the tangible holiday projects, how does the season of Christmas inspire us to engage our creativity and playful nature? This week, Sue Cunningham, Licensed Professional Counselor and Facilitator at the All...

This week on the podcast, Dan is joined by author, speaker, and clinical psychologist Alexander John Shaia to engage the incarnation, the Christmas story, and a glimpse of John's upbringing and the beautiful spiritual tradition of his family and culture. Born and raised in Birmingham, Alabama, Alexander John was part of a large extended family that had emigrated from Lebanon a generation previousl...

As we enter the holiday season with anticipation, there are times when we will also feel, well… disappointed. How do we honor disappointment without being bound by it? Dan and Becky Allender talk through their experiences with disappointment, how the body reacts when faced with disappointment, and the ways in which we can tend to our disappointments and still find hope.

As nature slows down, many of us are gearing up for a busy holiday season - beginning with Thanksgiving next week. Dan and Becky Allender unpack some of the nostalgia that surrounds the holiday, the tensions that arise from unmet expectations or clashing opinions, and what we can mindfully bring to the Thanksgiving table - and what can be left at the door. So as we enter into this season of "holid...

Last month, we invited our social media followers to send in questions that they would like to hear Dan Allender address. We are honored that so many of you sent in questions and comments.  We'll begin by addressing some of the questions about confronting past trauma in general, and trauma involving families of origin in particular. What if our past trauma is too painful to bear? Should we address...

Blaine Hogan joins Dr. Dan Allender on the podcast this week to talk about his new book, "Exit the Cave: Embracing a Life of Courage, Creativity, and Radical Imagination." Blaine holds a Master of Arts in Theology and Culture from the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. It was during his time at the Seattle School that he says, "It was time to go back to those stories, to those shadows, bec...

We recently wrapped up the Allender Center Marriage Conference with Dan and Becky Allender and Steve and Lisa Call of The Reconnect Institute. So as our team is reflecting on that incredible event and gearing up for next spring's Marriage Enrichment Retreat, we thought we'd go back into the archives to revisit this conversation between the Allenders and the Calls. In this episode from 2020, the tw...

Does time really heal all wounds? After recently celebrating their respective 70th birthdays, Dan and Becky Allender sat down to look back over the decades with a different awareness, considering the trauma, the joy, the losses, and the blessings. They also explore the saying that "time heals all wounds" and explain why trauma does not honor time. The good news is that, instead of hoping that the...

Author and counselor Chris Bruno shares what it means to become a "sage" - recovering exiled parts of ourselves, gleaning the wisdom  from our stories, and sharing that wisdom generatively with others.  Wherever you are along your life journey, we think you'll find a new perspective in this episode that can help you examine your story and your own passage into the role of sage.

Renee Begay, ministry leader and co-founder of Nations Ministry, joins us this week on the podcast. Renee is a member of the Zuni tribe and shares with us her journey of holding and honoring her Indigenous cultural identity within the Western cultural context of her Christian faith. This conversation is a beautiful reminder that we are invited to know our stories, value our unique identities, and...

Our guest this week is Pastor James White, longtime friend of co-host Linda Royster. James is a highly sought out consultant, speaker and facilitator for several organizations and companies on issues relating to inclusion, equity and diversity. James White, Linda Royster, and Dan Allender discuss the distinct narratives in scripture of the so-called "marginalized," the narratives of race that have...

This week, we're joined by Rev. Michael S. Chen, with Linda Royster co-hosting alongside Dr. Dan Allender.    As we lean in to listening to one another's voices, we're examining the impact of the oppressive systems on our individual and collective stories, and naming the more subtle systems of division, comparison, stereotypes, fear, and distrust that may impact our ability to truly listen.   Why...

This week, we're revisiting a conversation from 2018 between Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Angela Parker, Professor at The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, as they explore the passage of 1 Corinthians 4:8-13. Dr. Parker starts by offering some context about the port city of Corinth and the people who make up the church Paul is writing to. It's a divided city, concerned with hierarchy and proxim...

"Marginalization is profoundly violent," states Linda Royster in this week's conversation with Dan Allender. Linda is the Strategic Alliances Manager, Lead Instructor, and Co-Facilitator of the Story Workshop for Racial Trauma and Healing at The Allender Center. From the very beginning, this conversation challenges the use of the term "marginalized." As we engage topics such as race, gender, and c...

As we transition into the fall season, Dan and Becky Allender take a moment to reflect on their summer: the desires they had, the disappointments they felt, and the surprising lessons learned when things didn't go as planned.