The Allender Center Podcast

When trauma occurs, how can you respond effectively in those critical moments? Tragedy is an inevitable part of life, and having immediate tools to respond can help mitigate compounding trauma.  Join Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen as they offer a practical framework for engaging with traumatic experiences. They present a 3-step process to help you respond: sitting down, grounding yourse...

Join Rachael and Dan in this podcast episode along with Jill Dyer, Facilitator Care Coordinator at the Allender Center, to delve into the transformative power of prayer as a part of the healing journey and connecting with God and ourselves amidst harm and trauma. We understand that the thought of prayer can evoke different reactions. While it may bring comfort to some, it could also trigger furthe...

This week's bonus episode was recorded with philosopher, professor, and author, Dr. Esther Lightcap Meek, as she was entering into her role as the inaugural Senior Scholar at The Seattle School in late 2022. Joined by hosts Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Chelle Stearns, this discussion centers around the importance of valuing and delighting in the real.  Epistemology is "the theory of knowledge," or how...

We are thrilled to have Marcie Alvis Walker, the creator of the popular Instagram feed "Black Coffee With White Friends" and the author of the compelling memoir "Everybody Come Alive: A Memoir in Essays," as our special guest on this week's episode of the Allender Center Podcast. Hosting this insightful conversation are Rachael Clinton Chen and Linda Royster from the Allender Center. Marcie shares...

"We're going to invite you as an audience to address the reality that we need to be mothered and we need to be fathered. Whether we have children, whether we have a partner. We need to be mothered and we need to be fathered. And equally, we need to mother and father," begins Dr. Dan Allender in this week's podcast episode, "The Eternality of Parenting." We all have a deep need to be loved and to b...

In relationships, there are conflicts that cannot be resolved with a clear "right" or "wrong." In fact, the Gottman Institute's research cites that nearly 70% of relationship conflicts are unresolvable. Earlier this year, Dan and Becky Allender talked through unresolvable conflicts from their perspective of over four decades of marriage. Now, we're revisiting the topic with our other co-host, Rach...

In a world that can feel overwhelming and unsafe, we all long for safe havens in our relationships. But how do we create that safety? On this episode of the podcast, Rachael Clinton Chen chats with Dan and Becky Allender about their journey to intimacy and understanding in their marriage. Dan and Becky have been married for decades, but they both say that the real transformation in their relations...

With the arrival of summer, there is an expectation of rest and play. But for many, true rest is elusive. The demands of work, family, and financial responsibilities often hinder our ability to slow down and embrace rest. In our society, busyness is glorified, and we often fear being still, as it may require us to confront our own heartache. However, reflecting on the invitation of Jesus in Matthe...

Artists, creatives, and music lovers, join us in welcoming special guests, Daniel and Lauren Goans, the musical duo who make Lowland Hum.  In their chat with Dan and Rachael, Daniel and Lauren share a bit of their stories as creatives, talking about their life as artists, their journey of creating music, and the changes they experienced after becoming parents. They reflect on the mysterious and he...

From gardening to cooking, acting to playing an instrument, building to writing, painting, and more – there's a profound connection between creativity and the spirituality of crafting. The act of making, building, and tending to something carries a healing and integrating power to our bodies, minds, and souls. In this episode, we are thrilled to have Melissa Dowell and Jordan Dowell as our special...

In a world that often prioritizes rationality and intellect over intuition and our bodies' cues, can we really "trust our gut"?  In this episode, Dan and Rachael explore the historical and cultural division between body and soul, shedding light on how our Western society tends to overlook the stories held within our bodies.  Drawing from a biblical perspective, they challenge the notion of this se...

Shame is a universal experience that can impact our ability to fully engage with the world. It arises when we feel exposed or seen, creating a vulnerable moment where judgment looms, leaving us feeling tainted and unworthy. In this episode, Dan and Rachael explore some of the characters, themes, and settings that have shaped some of their personal stories of shame.  This conversation invites us to...

"The fundamental question that anxiety poses [to] us is: What is our relationship to suffering?" notes this week's podcast guest, author, theologian, and fellow sufferer of chronic anxiety, Curtis Chang. His new book, "The Anxiety Opportunity," offers a fresh perspective on anxiety as a doorway to spiritual transformation. He challenges the idea that anxiety is an enemy to be defeated – instead pr...

In this episode, we delve into the ancient practice of pilgrimage, a ritual journey that takes a person on a quest for new and deeper understanding of themselves, others, or a higher purpose. Unlike a typical trip or vacation, a pilgrimage has a deliberate and intentional start, a journey of transformation, and a meaningful return to daily life. Brad and Rita Berglund, pilgrimage travel guides wit...

We are excited to have Sue Cunningham, who is acclaimed by Dan Allender as the officially-unofficial Poet Laureate of the Allender Center, back with us. In this discussion, we're taking on the term "poiesis," which comes from the Greek word "to make" and is related to "poetry." At the Allender Center, we believe that writing and telling your story is an essential part of the process of understandi...

"You can't plan grief. You can't plan when or how or what will occur," says Dr. Dan Allender, "But there is something that has to be a decision perhaps made well before. Will I go into these waters or will I remain on the side?" In today's podcast conversation, Dan and Rachael welcome Mary Ellen Owen, Counselor in Colorado Springs and Instructor and Facilitator at the Allender Center. They take a...

Note: This episode contains some explicit language; listener discretion is advised. After a relationship has ruptured, can there be repair? Dan and Rachael continue to talk through the cycle of friendship and the difficult process of reconciling a cherished friendship gone awry. Dan asks, "How do you go how you trust someone who's already harmed you to open the door to desire? Because to do that f...

Why do friendships end? Perhaps there was a betrayal, the friendship was hard to maintain, or life happens. Whatever the reason, losing a friendship is hard. In this first conversation of a two-part series. Dan and Rachael talk about the very real feelings of loss, grief, anger that can accompany the loss of a friendship. Be sure to come back next week as we continue the conversation by talking th...

Our tendency to fight, flee, freeze, or fawn when we feel when we're triggered is often a response to something from our past. The work is not to eliminate all triggers, but to understand why you're feeling triggered, how to defuse them when they come, and when to take a moment to slow down to care for our body, mind, and soul in response to those triggers. Listen to Dan Allender and Rachael Clint...

How do you know that someone in your life is setting you up for harm? While we don't want to promote paranoia, it's important to be aware of some of the common strategies of those who perpetrate harm against you, whether that is spiritual, sexual, relational, financial, or emotional harm.  Dan begins this episode by saying, "We are meant to expose the schemes of evil, and we can't expose them if w...

We are not just a collection of stories - we are a story. So how do we begin to make sense of a collection of seemingly random and unrelated stories to find a theme of who we are and what our purpose is?  Dan and Rachael talk about uncovering the lies in our stories, finding the connective threads in the themes of our lives, and discovering the ways in which our stories reveal something unique abo...

If you're familiar with the work of the Allender Center, you've probably heard us say: ""You cannot take anyone further than you have gone." Whether you're in a leadership position at work, at church, or within your family, if you hope to lead and help others along their journey, you have to also embark on your own healing journey. This is not something you can observe from the sidelines and coach...

"Every person is a leader in some form. Every person is influencing others to some degree - whether you're a pastor or whether you're managing your children's soccer team, you are in the middle of something complex and difficult," says Dr. Dan Allender, as he kicks off the conversation with Rachael Clinton Chen and Linda Royster. In this week's podcast episode, we consider the paradox of leadershi...

We are thrilled to welcome back podcast co-host Rachael Clinton Chen, who is returning to us from maternity leave! In this conversation with Dan, Rachael catches us up on life as a new mother, her experiences with labor and the first few months, and her observations on the incredible burdens that women bear. If you are a parent or caregiver, we think this episode will be especially relatable, but...

"Our memories are our stories and there's no story that we tell that isn't from our vantage point," says our guest this week, Cathy Loerzel, MA.  As we engage our stories and try to recall past events, some of our memories may feel unclear, incomplete, or even untrustworthy.  Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel unpack how the brain fragments or scatters painful memories as a trauma response, and how we...