The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant

There's someone in your life you love, but the relationship just isn't working.    Despite your best efforts to communicate and try to work things out, nothing is changing. This person seems totally uninterested in listening to you or working on the relationship.   You've hit a wall, and the relationship feels stuck.   This can be so maddening, frustrating, disappointing and painful! You wouldn't...

"I'm such a horrible person." "I can't believe I did that…I'm so stupid." "I'm not good enough."   Do these types of thoughts sound familiar? If so, you're not alone.   As humans, we can be so mean to ourselves. We make a mistake and beat ourselves up for hours. We look in the mirror and are met with a barrage of negative self-talk. Sometimes these thoughts come at us relentlessly, like a flood.  ...

As humans, we all have needs. From the time we're babies, when we literally need someone to feed us and take care of us, to adults who need connection, safety and belonging, our wants and needs are part of our inner world and part of ourselves.  But somewhere along the way we start to feel ashamed of these needs, believing we're "too much" or "weak" or too "needy." But I believe being able to ackn...

Watch any rom-com or fairy tale and they'd have you believe relationships are as simple as meeting someone and falling in love. But is love really all it takes to have a healthy relationship?    Though we often think of relationships as a matter of the heart, the truth is there's a whole world of chemistry happening in your body and brain that has more impact on your relationship than you realize,...

There's something in your life you want to change. Where do you start?    My friend, business coach and wildly successful entrepreneur, Michael Hyatt, says there's one thing we can change that transforms everything else: our minds. Our thoughts drive our actions, and our actions drive our results, which is why if we want different outcomes in life – whether in our relationships, our business, our...

It's easy to think everyone processes the world the same way we do. After all, we're all born with a mind that is here to help us make sense of our human experience. But what if there is actually a huge range of ways we each make sense of reality – and superpowers to be found in our ways of processing the world?   Empaths are people whose nervous systems are wired with the ability to mirror others...

I believe that we are born as beautiful, pure beings, connected to God/Source and full of love – our true selves.  Though we never lose our true essence, throughout our lives, we have experiences that wound us and we put on masks to feel safe in this world. This creates a sort of "false self" that covers up who we were really meant to be.  But I believe all of us can reconnect with our true selves...

Guess what? I got triggered this week. AND I was able to work through the trigger and meet the most beautiful younger part of myself using the tools in The Adult Chair ® model. In this episode, I'm letting you guys in on exactly what happened and walking you step-by-step through how I transformed this trigger — and how you can use the exact same process the next time you're triggered. It all start...

Are you ready to have all your relationship questions answered by not one, but two couples therapists…who also happen to be a couple themselves?  Linda and Charlie Bloom are psychotherapists who have been married to each other for more than 50 years, and in this week's episode, they're spilling all their secrets about how to have healthy relationships – secrets from both their clinical training an...

One of the things I get asked about the most is how parents can help their children grow up to be healthy adults. How do you set your kids up to naturally slide into their Adult Chair, while they are still literally children and adolescents?  I decided to put myself out there and talk with my son, Blake – who is now a young adult and coaching clients of his own – about his experiences growing up a...

We know that trauma and addiction affect the brain and body in so many ways. But when Dr. Elisa Hallerman overcame addiction and began working with others in recovery, she realized there was something big missing in the conversation about trauma and addiction: how it affects the soul.  This inspired her to create a new paradigm for talking about sobriety called "Soulbriety," and it's changing the...

Throughout our lives, we hear so many voices of others telling us who and how we should be. Societal norms, our parents, our partners…it can feel like everyone wants something for us and from us.  To cope with this, we develop limiting beliefs, survival strategies and masks that we wear. We start to think these things are really who we are, and they become our roadmap for life…unless we find the c...

In my 25 years of private practice, the #1 issue I worked on with clients was feeling their emotions.  Whether someone was anxious, reactive and raging or numb to the world, the question they were all asking was, "What the heck do I do with these emotions?" I've been there too. And it breaks my heart, because experiencing emotions is one of the gifts of being human.  But the good news is that all...

You just met the new love of your life, and after a season of single parenting, you're so excited to build a life with your new partner and create a beautiful blended family.  But you don't just have yourself to think about. Between their kids, your kids, exes and in-laws, forming new bonds and creating healthy dynamics can be, well, complicated. Not only do you want to be a great parent or steppa...

We've all felt it: the extra tense political discussions, the harsh climate on social media and the overall division between people. It often feels like half the planet is living in a different world and we just can't seem to understand each other. This isn't just in our heads. Studies show that empathy has declined 40% since 1979, and today, one third of people say they can't easily see the point...

Cheers. Salud. Skol.  Wherever you are in the world, it seems like alcohol punctuates every celebration.  But have we stopped to ask if alcohol is really good for us? Or have we paused to get curious about why we drink – and when it moves from genuine enjoyment to unhealthy numbing out? Recently, I've noticed more people having conversations about sobriety, from giving up drinking entirely to swap...

There is an old Irish proverb that says, "A good friend is like a four-leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have."  While some people thrive in a big group and others prefer to have a few close friends, there isn't a human on the planet who doesn't need friends!  But making friends seems to get harder as we get older. Gone are the days of finding a BFF because you happened to sit next to each ot...

There are so many different aspects of being an emotionally healthy adult. We're complex, connected beings, and our bodies, our minds, our emotions, our spiritual lives…they all play a role in how we feel every day. It all matters! One of the areas we don't talk about enough is our hormones. Hormones impact SO many of our bodily and mental functions, and we've been kept in the dark about them for...

When it comes to standing up for ourselves and setting boundaries, there are few places where this is tougher than with our family of origin. Family brings a whole different dynamic to the table: our foundational attachments, our childhood programming, group expectations and our natural loyalty to our parents. The most successful and strongest people I know can still fall into old patterns or feel...

Our society today is facing an epidemic of anxiety. Despite technology that promises to make our lives faster and easier, it seems that we're more anxious than ever. In 2020, Google searches for "anxiety" reached an all-time high. We have to look beyond the diagnosis of anxiety and seek to find the root cause of why so many people are living with such high stress and dysregulation that are creatin...

Do you envy people who can speak up for themselves easily – without stress or guilt? Or do you wish you could go through life with more freedom – not always worried about what others think or if you're getting it right, being able to make mistakes and move on? If you struggle with perfectionism and people pleasing, this type of life might feel like just a dream. But the truth is that perfectionism...

You landed the dream gig, got the promotion, submitted your book for publishing, had an amazing first date. So, why do you feel so insecure, unsure and even unworthy? Hello, imposter syndrome! Imposter syndrome, or feeling like a fraud, is something that everyone struggles with from time to time — yep, even those super successful people you look up to. It's that feeling that you don't really deser...

At the start of a new year, we all wonder what the year will hold for us. Even with the resolutions and intentions we set, there's also that element of uncertainty around the things we can't control. What will come our way? What will shift for us? This goes beyond just us as individuals. Our planet also goes through shifts and transitions with the rhythms of nature and the universe – and on this s...

Journaling is truly a self-discovery tool. It helps us to find who we really are – what we want, what we value and what we feel – underneath the false self. In fact, "journal" and "journey" come from the same root word. To journal is like taking a journey into the self! Journaling is one of my go-to practices for transformation. It's so powerful for learning more about yourself, processing your em...

In my 25 years of practicing as a therapist and holistic life coach, I found that there was one common root cause behind many of the issues my clients were facing: low self-worth. From codependency to difficulty with decisions or boundaries, not having a strong connection with the inner self was often the driving force behind these challenges. Most of us have a tendency to look outside of ourselve...