The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant

Are you ready to shift out of procrastination, perfectionism and people pleasing? I can't imagine anyone that doesn't have their hand up! In today's show, we are diving into The Adult Chair model and looking deeper at our "parts." Though this episode focuses on some of these common parts that I hear many of my clients talk about, it really is a crash course in what parts work is and how to start w...

Why do people cringe at the suggestion of setting a boundary? So many people respond with, "I don't like confrontation" when I suggest a boundary. Setting boundaries is tough to do if we were not modeled healthy boundaries growing up. Even if we came from a pretty healthy family, few people grew up with healthy boundary modeling. In today's show, I talk about what boundaries are, how to set them,...

By nature, all of us have the Child, Adolescent and Adult parts of ourselves...but these parts can look very different depending on our personality and life experience. Through the lens of the Enneagram, we can understand more about our personality and the ways we show up in stress and in health, and in this episode, Enneagram coach Ramona Reid breaks down how the wounds we received as a child aff...

We can never have enough self-esteem. So many of us didn't have healthy self-esteem role models growing up, so we are embarking on this journey now. The good news is that it's never too late to learn to love yourself...and it's a life-long journey, so you will have plenty of people along the path with you! Using The Adult Chair, building healthy self-esteem is not only possible, but it can also ha...

Relationships with narcissists are insidious. They begin one way, and over time, very slowly and covertly, they change and become poisonous. We wake up one day and wonder what we did wrong and how we got here. We blame ourselves and can even feel embarrassed to tell others. In today's very vulnerable show, Tracy shares her story of being married to a narcissist, how his toxic behaviors subtly incr...

We all have different ways that we connect and bond with others, and in psychology, we call this "attachment style." For example, some of us are anxious in our bonds, always making sure the relationship is ok. Others of us pull away when we feel we are getting too close with someone else. Our attachment style is HIGHLY influenced by our childhood and how we bonded with our caregivers growing up, a...

As we reach the last week of June and find ourselves halfway through 2020, I'm having a hard time finding words for this year. It has felt like a year of nonstop chaos, with so many challenges at the global and personal level. We are all feeling triggered everywhere we turn and overwhelmed by a range of emotions. You might be wondering if it's even possible to live from your healthy Adult Chair du...

As humans, we all want to avoid pain and suffering...but what if pain can be a gateway to our healing? What if experiencing sadness actually increases our ability to feel joy? In this episode, I'm chatting with the incredible Ruthie Lindsey as she shares her journey through tragedy and chronic pain to hope and healing. After being nearly killed in a car accident in high school, Ruthie experienced...

Why do you do what you do? That question is probably more difficult to answer than most of us think...not only because we often don't know ourselves well, but also because the majority of our behaviors and actions come from programming in the unconscious mind. Sometimes, this programming happened when we were so young that we can't even recall it; in fact, most of our beliefs form before the age o...

With everything going on the world the last few months, fear has been on all of our minds recently. Though this fear is very real, it's also related to events happening outside of ourselves...events we can't fully control. But we also all have deeper emotional fears that aren't related to what is going on in the world and are more constant: fear of vulnerability, fear of rejection, fear of being t...

Boundaries are one of those things that I think we can never talk too much about! Though this is a simple topic, boundaries are difficult for most of us — but they're completely life-changing when we learn to practice them well. So, it's time to talk about boundaries again, and in this episode, I'm giving you a boundaries crash course! If you've been listening for a while, this will be a great ref...

"Empath" is one of those words that has become a buzzword over the last few years, and it has us empaths who have felt different our whole lives yelling, "Finally!" At last, the world is beginning to understand that certain people are wired in a way that makes them highly in tune with their environment and the emotions around them. Where empaths might have been called too sensitive in the past, we...

Most of us long for deeply connected relationships — it's a core part of our wiring as humans! But even when we're in a relationship, many of us don't know how to create the connection we crave. We might spend time with those we love, talk frequently and even get along with each other easily, but that doesn't necessarily mean we know how to really let ourselves be known and how to really see and h...

As we discuss the rise of domestic abuse during the COVID-19 crisis and the pervasiveness of this issue around the world, I wanted to shed some light on another group of survivors: the children of domestic abuse. Whether a child is directly abused or witnesses the abuse of their father or mother, abuse during childhood can have lasting traumatic effects and shape our view of relationships and the...

Studies show that since the start of the COVID-19 quarantine, domestic abuse is up by 30 to 40 percent worldwide. Abusers are using the global crisis to increase their sense of power and control, and women are trapped at home with abusive partners, making them more vulnerable to frequent abuse. This is something that enrages me and that I'm so passionate about shedding light on. Domestic abuse isn...

Today, we're talking about two of our listeners' favorite topics — narcissism and codependency. I've discussed these topics individually on the show before, but in reality, they are deeply connected with each other. And I'm honored to welcome back to the show Ross Rosenberg, a psychotherapist and leading expert on codependency, narcissism, trauma and addiction, on the show to help us understand th...

For the first time in history, the entire world is sharing the same fears and the same hopes. With so much chaos all around us and with everyone's life impacted by this virus and the quarantine, is it really possible to find peace? I believe you can find peace no matter where you are in life, and I believe that because I have lived it! I spent the first part of my life living with anxiety and depr...

The world is experiencing a time of high stress and universal confusion like most of us have never experienced in our lifetimes. We are all walking through a collective trauma together. But just because an experience is common, it does not mean we all respond to it in the same way. Each of us is wired uniquely, and every personality type experiences stress and anxiety differently. The Enneagram is...

There is no doubt that it's not an easy time for the nervous system. With the amount of collective and personal fear and stress in our world right now, our minds and bodies have to work extra hard to maintain a state of calm and balance. Fortunately, we're not on our own! There are SO MANY amazing, simple tools that you can use to make a huge difference in how you feel on a physical, emotional and...

As much as we hate to admit it, difficult times are part of life. Sometimes, they come in the form of trying seasons in our personal lives; other times, the whole world goes through challenges together, facing disasters like famine, tornadoes and disease. But just like difficulty is part of human history, so is resilience. Each of us has the ability to not only cope with what life throws our way,...

I am so excited about today's episode — both because I'm interviewing someone I deeply admire, the inspiring Amberly Lago, and because this show couldn't have come at a more divine time with all that's going on in the world today. Amberly is someone I would call a "resiliency expert," and she has a lot to teach us about finding inner strength during challenging times. Amberly has been through so m...

As we are in the middle of a global pandemic that is causing so much fear and confusion, I wanted to offer you a bonus episode with a free meditation to help you promote relaxation and peace.  It's such a confusing time right now, and the events of the last few weeks don't make sense to anyone. Some people are scared, angry, anxious or unsure how to feel. And I understand why. Nothing can prepare...

You know the feeling when your nervous system kicks into overdrive. Maybe you freeze in place or your heart starts racing, your body pumping with adrenaline. This automatic response often feels like it overtakes us. But what if you could control and balance your nervous system instead of it controlling you?  In today's show, I'm interviewing the incredible Deb Dana, one of the leading experts on t...

I truly can't believe we're here ⁠— the 200th episode of The Adult Chair podcast and over 2 million downloads! This started out as an experiment to help my clients, and I'm BLOWN AWAY by what it has become. I couldn't be more thankful to you for listening and inviting me into your life each week. I'm thrilled and humbled to have helped in a small way on your journey toward your most authentic self...

Everybody wants to be happy, and most of us want a partner to share our happiness and lives with. But finding that partner? Easier said than done. Dating can be exhilarating, confusing, fun, exhausting and all the things. Experiencing connection with another person is deeply meaningful and also incredibly complex — especially when we bring our own pasts, traumas and expectations into the early sta...