The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant

Wow — I was blown away by the response to last week's episode with my one and only, Graham Chalfant. It seems like so many could relate to our relationship dynamics and the learning and work we've done over the years...and so many of you also asked how we started doing the work and making changes in our relationship.   In this week's episode, I'm focusing the conversation back on the self and how...

Everyone wants connection — we're hardwired for it as humans! But we can only connect as deeply with others as we've connected with ourselves. Strong relationships start by going within, feeling our emotions and being willing to open up and share with our partners.   On this week's podcast, I have a very, very special guest...my husband! We're talking with you today together and sharing some very...

Compassion is something we have when we live in our healthiest Adult self, but how easy is it for you to turn around and offer that compassion to yourself? Most of us speak very differently to ourselves than we would to a friend, especially when we make a mistake or are going through a hard time.   But self-compassion is an essential part of healing! In fact, studies show that truly effective ther...

The work we do in The Adult Chair® isn't just about healing past wounding, working with the inner child, parts work or uncovering unconscious programming (though you know I LOVE all of those things).   It's also about navigating everyday life...what's happening in the here and now.   Because let's be honest: when life comes at us (and it always does), it can be hard to stay grounded and in peace a...

When we form intimate partnerships in life, it goes far beyond love. The relationship becomes our home, our social circle, our sense of safety, and our way of living.   That's why betrayal in intimate relationships, whether infidelity or lying, is so hurtful. It doesn't just cause emotional pain, but it also shakes our entire sense of safety and reality. It's a true multi-layered trauma that is no...

We all want healthier, stronger relationships. As beings wired for connection, relationships can bring us the greatest joy and fulfillment in life...or, when they're full of chaos, drama, miscommunication, and misunderstandings, they can bring lots of pain and confusion.   When we're experiencing relationship drama, our first reaction is to blame our partner or assume we're with the wrong person....

We as a society and individuals don't do grief very well. For most of us, it's something we'd rather just not "do" at all. Even knowing what to say to a grieving friend can leave us tongue-tied and lost.   But as much as we wish it weren't true, if we're human, we're going to experience loss at some point in life. And grief takes many forms. It can come with a change in lifestyle, a relationship o...

  Codependency is one of those issues that can often come across as selfless to those around us...in fact, it might even earn us praise because we seem so nice and helpful (although at our own expense).   But what if I told you that codependency was actually a form of control? This episode today was inspired by a very insightful question from one of our listeners who shared his realization that in...

The world around us demands so much of us. If we're not careful, it can erode our souls, steal our true selves and get us to believe lies about the source of our worth. We have to become conscious and aware to step into our true power and a whole, awakened life.   I have been a huge fan of Dr. Shefali for years. I got SO much out of her work on conscious parenting when my kids were young, and it's...

It takes courage to do our work and look at the stuff that scares us, and I believe we all need encouragement and inspiration along the way. And the story I have for you today is SO inspiring!   I got to know Susan Gorey as part of The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program. From the beginning, I could feel Susan's strength and her fearlessness around speaking up for what she felt was right....

We talk a lot about how to set boundaries in The Adult Chair®, but sometimes we forget that we are human and sometimes we cross others' boundaries. The other side of mastering boundaries is learning how to humbly and gracefully receive a boundary when the tables are turned and we're the ones being asked to shift our behavior or approach.   It's very easy to perceive boundaries as criticism and go...

Do you find yourself feeling unfulfilled and empty, despite seemingly having everything you need to be happy? Do you crave closer relationships but feel like you can't connect at the deep level you want?   These feelings can often be subtle signs of childhood emotional neglect, which is when our parents or caregivers didn't tend to or validate our emotions as children. This sets us up for an adult...

I know you guys love all things Enneagram (and I do too!), so I'm thrilled to bring back our resident Enneagram expert and dear friend of mine, Ramona Reid. Ramona, who is also an Adult Chair® Certified Coach, has always done a beautiful job weaving together The Adult Chair® with the Enneagram, helping us understand how our inner child and childhood wounding shapes our personality type and how our...

We've talked a lot about narcissistic abuse and the emotional effects of it on this podcast, but we haven't dug into how this experience affects the brain and how neuroscience and healing from narcissistic abuse go hand in hand…until today! In this episode, we're diving deep into this very important topic with Dr. Rhonda Freeman, who is an expert on the brain, neuroplasticity and trauma and who br...

As you know, codependency is one of my "things." Fortunately, it's less of a thing these days, but I understand firsthand what it's like to spend years so focused on others that we lose our sense of self. That's part of why we talk about this so much on the podcast — so many people suffer for years not knowing about codependency, and I'm passionate about helping you get free...quickly and simply!...

Everyone wants a caring, loving family, right? But is it possible for close to become too close?   "Enmeshment" is a term that's been gaining more traction recently, and it describes family systems that are intertwined in unhealthy ways. These families appear very loving from the outside, but that love is often based on guilt and obligation...and usually the family doesn't even know this about the...

This 5-minute meditation promotes relaxation, healing, and self-love.   It's a wonderful meditation for emotional healing and/or physical healing or for anyone seeking greater peace in their lives.

Feeling stuck in life is one of the worst feelings. It can feel helpless, hopeless and confining — like no matter what we do, nothing is going to change and we have no options.   But this is a story from the ego! From our Adult, we know we ALWAYS have choices. That doesn't always mean we love every option or we get the exact outcome we want, but we are never stuck. We can always make the next best...

Would you believe me if I told you that 90% of unexplained illnesses could be traced to one simple thing...something you do every day? Believe it or not, they can, and that thing is breathing.   Studies have shown that hundreds of different ailments that can't be traced back to a known cause can often be connected to dysfunctional breathing. The good news is that breathing is SO simple and easy to...

Those who struggle with codependency often struggle with anger as well...but not in the way you might think. Unlike ragers or those with explosive anger, codependents tend to stuff and suppress anger to please others and avoid conflict...often not even knowing what they're feeling themselves. This is just as unhealthy!   We need anger to guide us towards our needs and connect us to our experience....

Wow — I was blown away by the response to last week's episode (#251) with my one and only, Graham Chalfant. It seems like so many could relate to our relationship dynamics and the learning and work we've done over the years...and so many of you also asked how we started doing the work and making changes in our relationship.   In this week's episode, I'm focusing the conversation back on the self a...

Everyone wants connection — we're hardwired for it as humans! But we can only connect as deeply with others as we've connected with ourselves. Strong relationships start by going within, feeling our emotions and being willing to open up and share with our partners.   On this week's podcast, I have a very, very special guest...my husband! We're talking with you today together and sharing some very...

One of the biggest complaints I hear from clients is, "I wish my partner/parent/friend/whoever would be more empathetic!" We often look down on or get frustrated with those we don't feel are empathetic enough, but empathy isn't a trait you either have or you don't...or a trait that makes someone good or bad. Like any healthy habit, it's a skill we learn...and anyone can learn it if they want to!  ...

Compassion is something we have when we live in our healthiest Adult self, but how easy is it for you to turn around and offer that compassion to yourself? Most of us speak very differently to ourselves than we would to a friend, especially when we make a mistake or are going through a hard time.   But self-compassion is an essential part of healing! In fact, studies show that truly effective ther...

Narcissistic abuse is, I believe, one of the most toxic experiences out there. While NO kind of abuse is ok, narcissists can be extremely subtle, sneaky and manipulative, making them difficult to spot. Anyone who has been in a relationship with one knows how confusing and damaging it can be.   My guest today, Meredith Miller, is a holistic coach who helps people heal themselves from narcissistic a...