The 12 Years of Christmas

Breaking the norm this week, Margaret and AJ have ventured out into the wild and treated themselves to a Christmas film in a cinema! And their efforts have been very handsomely rewarded in the form of RED ONE. What a film... What can only be described as the Avengers for fans of the Christmas cinematic universe this film has everything: Surprise cameos, Answers to the Mystery of Christmas Lore, Be...

We watched SANTA STOLE OUR DOG... We really regret it Check us out over on insta: @the12yearsofchristmas

Our esteemed hosts take a magical trip into THE YEAR WITHOUT A SANTA CLAUS, a movie set in the wonderful world of stopmotion! And the fantastical world of 1974, where the idea of Mrs Claus taking over for Santa is disgustingly laughable. We also get some boss ass new additions to the Christmas mythology, we find out if Mickey Rooney can sing, and learn that Santa is pathetic male scum and have lab...

A celebrated return of Margaret's recent trip abroad with A NEW YORK CHRISTMAS WEDDING - the biggest red herring of a film title we've ever experienced. Is there a New York Christmas Wedding? Yes there is - but there is also: Alternate Timelines, Gay Guardian Angels, a truly jaw-dropping twist... no hyperbole, it is shocking... and a mysterious 5th hand that has appeared to support two queer women...

A significant part of the Christmas canon of characters is missing from Margaret's knowledge! Amends must be made. Time to engage with the father of frights, the naysayer of naughtiness... Krampus from the 2015 film KRAMPUS. Three writers who didn't talk to each other, or one auteur have come together to make this fever dream of a film which straddles the line between scary and horny, continues a...

It's episode 12! And following on from recent events in Exmas, AJ has taken on the task of finding Margaret a new man and has no less than 12 candidates to offer in THE 12 MEN OF CHRISTMAS. A thrilling episode that features our DEFINITIVE ranking of said 12 men, a shocking return appearance and a woman who has seriously misunderstood a calendar (or maybe she hasn't...) Come check us out over on in...

AJ has relented and allowed a watch of a well-regard Christmas classic, but perhaps it's too late. Perhaps the damage is done... It's fair to say nobody else has watched the 1983 classic: A CHRISTMAS STORY with the lens that they have, and they know this because shortly after recording this they looked it up and discovered that nobody is thinking about this movie in this way... at all... but the p...

Margaret has been through a break-up, and AJ has the answer. What could be better than a watch of the Buzzfeed movie - EXMAS. Could a new tradition be forming? Let us hope not. Nevertheless they are here to dissect fruity orgies, THICK butter and our new rizz king - Brady. It is also the introduction of an electrifying new segment: Bin Chat. Check us out over on insta: @the12yearsofchristmas

The depraved depths of the Christmas canon have begun to make themselves known, as Margaret and AJ have stumbled across a movie called Santa Jaws. A movie that at the very least can say it delivers on what it promises. And so too our brave hosts will deliver on investigating this newly discovered relic for you. Together they query if the shark is a lesbian, if elves will ever be allowed to just si...

Can Christmas defeat racism? An ambitious question that Billy Ray Cyrus is attempting to solve in CHRISTMAS IN CANAAN with... mixed results. Weaving through latent bisexuality, bicycle-related misogyny, the thirstiest sister and of course... country music. Margaret and AJ attempt to find out if Billy Ray is right and if we really will... get by somehow. Check us out on insta: @the12yearofchristmas

Persistence is already paying off. Picking a last minute movie at random has led Margaret and AJ to THE DRONE THAT SAVED CHRISTMAS... and what a film. CGI set dressing? Check. A roaming fetus? Check. A soundtrack by JQ the Legend? Check. Rudolfo the Magic Fingers? Check Check CHECK! An experience that has to be seen to be believed, this masterpiece has it all. Including a shocking revelation about...

The decisions are arguably getting worse, as a hungover Margaret and AJ take on an early morning watch of A MOM FOR CHRISTMAS, as the blinding grin of the late great Olivia Newtown John stares deep into their haunted souls. Narrowly surviving an assault by synthesizer, our hosts try to unpack the complex lore of mannequins in this movie and comfort each other after witnessing a truly surprising an...

In an attempt to balance out their previously somewhat unsophisticated watches, Margaret and AJ overshoot their mark with the 1969 French New Wave film, MY NIGHT AT MAUD'S, A Christmas movie about Maths and Ethics. A thrilling offer from unquestionably the most committed Christmas director so far, venturing through sexually repressed Frenchmen, ghost cucks and unnecessarily long bugle solos. AJ al...

Margaret and AJ decide to have some camaraderie with some white ladies in A BAD MOMS CHRISTMAS, an unnecessary Christmas sequel to a non-Christmas film that AJ has never seen and Margaret has oddly seen multiple times... A girthy Santa, shameless advertising and a fallen acting protege make up a viewing this week that has brought out a new energy in Margaret. An energy that has made AJ deeply unco...

Well we didn't think we'd be diving into Nazi Incest Elves as early as episode 3 but here we are. 'Elves', a baffling 1989 horror movie, offers us... well exactly what's written above, along with state of the art budget animatronics and a Santa that Hulk Hogan wishes he could've been. But to be honest, we're just happy to be watching what feels like a passion project, even if it is riddled with in...

Making up for their inaugural outing's distinct lack of Santa Claus, Margaret and AJ experience quite frankly too much Santa in the 1996 Hulk Hogan vehicle, SANTA WITH MUSCLES. A movie that has confused them with stolen milk bottle fingerprints, giant crystal fights and cops with bazookas; but luckily their confusion is shared by none other than Hulk himself, as the three of them ponder how he man...

Margaret and AJ's 12 year long journey begins with the 2018 Hallmark outing, RETURN TO CHRISTMAS CREEK (which is not a sequel, much to their confusion). Together they explore the danish culture of smorgasbords, how hallmark hunks are made and question whether there is even a creek in this movie. Strap-in, we're off to a rough start... Come check us out over at insta: @the12yearsofchristmas