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In this episode, Jackie continues her discussion of The Tao of Fully Feeling.  In this episode, we start looking at what we can do.  Once we have become more aware of our dysfunctional childhood and our maladaptive coping skills, once we have grieved the loss and expressed what was repressed, where do we go next? In this episode, we look at how we can reparent our inner child.  Offering him/her wh...

In this continuing discussion about the book The Tao of Fully Feeling by Pete Walker, we talk about blame as part of the grieving process.  And how blame is not the stigmatized emotion that we are taught to banish and opt for self-responsibility.  Instead, it is an organic, natural part of ourselves that leads to self-protection, healthy boundaries, and ultimately true forgiveness to our parents f...

There are four key ways that children protect themselves from being overwhelmed by the emotional pain of prolonged abuse and neglect.  We call these defense mechanisms, and they typically have an expiration date.  They can be effective in protecting children through traumatic childhoods, but at some time they will stop working.  At this point, we can develop new, advanced defense mechanisms or we...

In this episode, Jackie talks about chapter 5 in The Tao of Fully Feeling.  Often when we think of grieving, we think of being sad, maybe crying.  Or we think of the stages of grief developed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.  In this chapter, author Pete Walker expands on essentials to grieving as we explore childhood trauma.  

In this bonus episode, Jackie talks about how the learnings from Pete Walker's book The Tao of Fully Feeling may have messages for the current strife and social fears we are experiencing in our world today.   

In this episode Jackie continues her series discussing the book The Tao of Fully Feeling by Pete Walker. In this episode we cover chapter 2 & 3 from the book and talk about the Fundamental Dynamics of Emotional Nature and the Gifts of Grieving. 

In this episode, Jackie talks about the introduction, and chapters one and two of Pete Walker's book The Tao of Fully Feeling.  This is the first book of our TFS Bookclub.  In this episode, we cover how we lose our ability to fully feel.  What the cost is to us and how we cope when we cannot fully feel.  We also talk about how starting to feel will connect us with grief and loss. Two ways we avoid...

In this episode Jackie answers a question from a friend and one that many people have when they start therapy and are in the process of doing their own work.  It is a valid question when there are painful and traumatic things we have experienced in the past.  Why go there if there isnt a good reason? Well, there is a good reason.  The past never stays put in past.  We arrive in adulthood with unfi...

In this episode, I am honored to have special guest Mark Nepo talking about Heartwork: being a spirit in the world. Beloved as a poet, teacher, and storyteller, Mark Nepo, the New York Times bestselling author of The Book of Awakening, has been called "one of the finest spiritual guides of our time," "a consummate storyteller," and an"eloquent spiritual teacher."  His many books have been translat...

In this episode Jackie asked two of her colleagues, Rachel Allen and Amy Smith, both previous guests on the podcast to join her talking about Christmas songs through the therapy lens.  Therapy can put things into perspective or make us questions things we previously haven't questioned, whether you are a client of therapy or a therapist.  We had some fun talking about Christmas songs whose time has...

This week Jackie talks about her experience as both a participant and a facilitator in GLI (group leadership intensive).  So many of us live our lives in our own bodies without giving ourselves the opportunity to actually see ourselves and to know how others experience us.  It is a gift, that we typically will shy away from, to be present with others and ourselves in the struggle...and yet there i...

We all make choices every single day—some big, some small. Some are choices related to time and money. Others are related to the life roles we each prioritize. There are a billion things we could do, but we must make choices with our limited time. Is there a difference between making a decision and a choice? How does trauma impact the ability to make "good" choices?   

In this episode Jackie wraps up the series on the Twelve Principles by Dr. Patrick Carnes.  Generativity is principle twelve.   Generativity refers to "making your mark" on the world by caring for others as well as creating and accomplishing things that make the world a better place. It’s leaving the community, culture, and world better than you found it. This principle aligns with step twelve, wh...

Life is messy.  It has always been messy.  Life is full of loose ends, uncertainty, confusion, and frustration.  Yet nothing is wasted or random or pointless.  Everything that happens is nourishing compost for our spiritual and emotional growth. It is in the midst of the messiness of life that we often find meaning or, sometimes, that meaning finds us.   

Recovery teaches us, and sometimes forces us to trust.  We learn to trust others. We learn to trust ourselves.  We learn to trust an ongoing process of renewal.  We give ourselves over to uncertainty, free fall and the care of a Higher Power. Trust is active, not passive.  It emboldens us to speak up, to take a stand, to make decisions, and to move forward into a future we can neither foresee nor...

Merriam Webster defines responsiveness like this: reacting in a desired or positive way; quick to respond. We all probably think about speed when we think about responsiveness, too, but how many of us take the time to make sure our responses are positive? That we are responding in a timely and reliable way? Responsiveness is more than just a way to communicate.  It becomes a way of being with ours...

In this episode Jackie talks about how commitment plays a role in our recovery as well as in our relationships.  When we make a commitment, we are saying that we will do all we can to make it happen.  There are factors that get in the way of us keeping our commitments.  As we work to deepen our recovery, our ability to make commitments becomes an important part of our recovery.  How we commit to o...

There is no courage without risk. When we act courageously, we put ourselves on the line for a greater good and make ourselves vulnerable to loss.  In recovery, our approach to risk changes completely.  We learn to consider our risks instead of following our impulses. We consult our inner observer, then consciously choose which risks to take. One day at a time, we become both more courageous and m...

We all know the importance of telling the truth.  Generally, we have been told how important honesty is from a young age.  It is usually stated in a direct, simple way that makes it seem like being honest is easy. We aren’t always told how to live an honest life or that it is harder than it sounds. In this episode, Jackie talks about how to practice living a life of honesty and why it is such an i...

In this episode, Jackie assembles her fellow female colleagues at Healing Paths for a book club.  They are talking about the book Burnout: the secret to unlocking the stress cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski.  This will be a 3 part series talking about each of the three sections of the book and how it is important information and applicable if you are a woman or if you know a woman.    

Before we began recovery, many of us had little experience of being part of a healthy family, of fitting into a functional community, or of living in a climate of trust. Often, from a very young age, we were denied the opportunity to bond with other people. These experiences carry with us into our adult relationships and cause us to close off or isolate.  The process of opening and bonding is a po...

In this episode, Jackie talks about the important role that responsibility plays in recovery and in our personal healing journey.  In recovery, we stop hiding from ourselves.  We understand the importance of examining our life, and we accept responsibility for everything in it.  We realize that a deeply painful past does not let u off the hook.  Nothing lets us off the hook.  We are always respons...

Across world religions and throughout the history of human experience with the Divine, we find certain universally recognized strategies to nourishing spirituality.  While each person experience is unique, there are ways of approaching life that maximize our availability to spiritual presence. In this episode Jackie talks about some of the things we can do to increase our spiritual practice and to...

Each of us has the capacity to pay attention to our senses, emotions, impulses, thoughts, and actions.  We also have the capacity to observe the world around us: its beauty, its danger, its design. When we make an internal commitment to reality, we naturally want to become more aware.  Change can come about dramatically by paying attention and having the awareness of what goes on inside and outsid...

In this episode, Jackie talks about principle one which is acceptance. A common struggle felt by most individuals who enter a recovery program or start a process of personal healing is learning how to reframe their life and give it harmony and balance. We have to learn how to dialogue with ourselves about past and present events in a way that brings freedom and meaning.  We have to wrestle with wh...