Teen Creeps

It's Fantasy month here at Teen Creeps and Kelly and Katai are kicking it off with Susan Price's ELFGIFT. They talk Anglo-Saxon names, non-formulaic plotting, battle-women, how the 9th century sucked for absolutely everyone, and a face so beautiful it's like you've been slapped, but somehow neglect to talk about what a weird name Elfgift is. CW: mention of rape. Is this necessary? There's no descr...

This week Kelly and Katai get screamed at by Sinclair Smith's THE BOY NEXT DOOR. They talk attic boys, healthy sodas, ALL CAPS, pranks as a gateway drug, breaking someone's leg to keep them from getting murdered, and too many fake-outs. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS:  https://twitter.com/teencr...

This week Kelly and Katai find themselves along for the ride on another quality anti-bullying entry in the Point Horror label, THE TRAIN by Diane Hoh. They talk train phobias, taking notes and doing actual pre-show research for once, fancy dress high school parties, the classic "I'm in high school drama and can therefore do extremely realistic corpse makeup," and feeling actual empathy and sadness...

This week Kelly and Katai read NIGHT SCHOOL by Caroline B. Cooney. They talk well-drawn characters, books with a capital 'M' Message, spatially confusing action, and selling your soul to disembodied teachers tryna tell everyone who your crush is. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS:  https://twitter....

This week Kelly and Katai read THE MUMMY by Barbara Steiner. They talk staging an intervention for your friend who wants to fuck a mummy, whether or not it's cultural appropriation if you're the literal reincarnation of an Egyptian princess, another busybee villain, and plump bitch coworkers. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teenc...

This week Kelly and Katai read SILENT STALKER by Richie Tankersley Cusick. They discuss people saying things at each other, bad journalism dads, unforgivable jester antics, twins on twins on twins, running running running, and one of the worst WHAT? endings we've had yet. Listen! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT...

This week Kelly and Katai read DEMON by Samantha Lee. (First off, do not read this book. It is Problematic with a capital P and its culture crimes outweigh its strengths.) They discuss why British authors need an American editor, nebulous Indigenous "magic" as a plot device, authorial fat shaming, why this book should have taken place in the 1950s, and of course, the name MIGUEL COYOTE. SUBSCRIBE...

This week Kelly and Katai read Helen Oyeyemi's WHITE IS FOR WITCHING, a British Gothic ghost story in the vein of Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House. They talk more boy-girl twin weirdness, poetic language, continually fail to pronounce soucouyant correctly, possessive houses, and talk about kids who call their mother by their first name: why? SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get...

This week Kelly and Katai read THE DEAD GAME by A. Bates. It's the thrilling (not thrilling) story of three friends who decide to make a Kill List (Prank List) to give payback to the fakers (people they don't like) in their school. They discuss unreliable narrators, the difficulty in adapting a mafia-type game to play pranks, whether or not charcoal drawings are enough to convict someone of shopli...

PARTY SUMMER! This week Kelly and Katai read R.L. Stine's Fear Street Super Chiller: PARTY SUMMER! And it's about as much of a party as 2020 is. They talk nonsensical character descriptions, PARTY SUMMER, yet another weird implied incestual relationship, PARTY SUMMER, the depressing lack of Fear lore, and PARTY SUMMER. Listen! Because it's gonna be PARTY SUMMER! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREO...

It was a night to never forget to remember, Teen Creeps "Safer At Home" Prom 2020! Experience Kelly and Katai's original masterpiece, PROM DANCE, recorded live via Twitch, with Oscar-worthy performances from TC favorites Patrick Ehlers, Ryan Mogge, Oscar Montoya, and Omar Najam. Drawing from our now embarrassingly extensive expertise on the genre, we crafted an original tale of horror and boredom....

Kelly and Katai read the very strange SISTER DEAREST by D.E. Athkins. It's full of action packed things like implied incest, T-Bird antics, implied incest, papier-mache shoes, implied incest, crazy dreams, implied incest, inconsistent character behavior, implied incest, and also implied incest. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/tee...

Kelly and Katai return to Christopher Pike with THE HOLLOW SKULL and looooooove it. It's got everything: small dead-end town, badass main character, creepy alien stuff, evil teens, existential explorations of what it means to be human, bitter ex-lovers, world-gobbling death gods, nano bugs, and also goo! Oh my goo! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more: https:...

Hi, everyone! First of all ... #BLACKLIVESMATTER #DEFUNDTHEPOLICE To make a donation that will split evenly among 60+ community bail funds, mutual aid funds, and racial justice organizers, go here: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/bail_funds_george_floyd And we'd like to highlight the fund for Breonna Taylor's family, as no police officers have yet been held accountable. https://gf.me/u/x6ngqj #J...

Happy 200th episode, everyone! For this momentous occasion Kelly and Katai welcome Film Correspondent Oscar Montoya ( Spanish Aquí Presents , Bless the Harts ) to talk about not just one Carrie movie, but two: the seminal 1976 Brian De Palma Carrie adaptation and the not-so-seminal 2013 Kimberly Peirce Carrie remake. They discuss the glorious thought-she-was-in-a-comedy performance of Piper Laurie...

Kelly and Katai welcome the expertise of Sweet Valley High Correspondent Ryan Mogge ( Welcome Back to Roswell ) to discuss Francine Pascal's SWEET VALLEY HIGH: A NIGHT TO REMEMBER a.k.a. motherfucking JUNGLE PROM! Yes, what ends in SWEET VALLEY HIGH #100: THE EVIL TWIN begins here with a rockin' beach party, some VERY cavalier attitudes about rape, twin vs. twin and cow vs. whore, Todd Wilkins as...

Kelly and Katai welcome back LoDunc Correspondent Patrick Ehlers ( Transformers , TMNT , Nintendo Cartridge Society ) to discuss Lois Duncan's very first novel DEBUTANTE HILL. They talk good old fashioned fun, the Wonder Twins, going full Dodie, Magic: The Gathering, and the differences between being pör and riche. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more: https:...

This week Kelly and Katai read L.J. Smith's Night World Book 6: SOULMATE and talk bumbling therapists, cringeworthy fan service, and how teens are babies and nobody wants them to be vampires. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS:  https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepsp...

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This week Kelly and Katai read Grady Hendrix's THE SOUTHERN BOOK CLUB'S GUIDE TO SLAYING VAMPIRES and they looooooooooved it. It's got everything you could want in a book: evil vampire drifters, earlobe chomping, gag-inducing insect trauma, and some truly infuriating gaslighting. Content Warning: brief mentions of rape and suicide SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch,...

Kelly & Katai read Barbara Steiner's PHANTOM and discuss the logistics of staging a ghost, woefully inconsistent characters, nostalgia for teen experiences we never had ( mostly for boats?), and ask the very important question "why is that guy SO WET??" SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https:...

Kelly and Katai discuss Carol Ellis's MY SECRET ADMIRER and break down slow winks, compare and contrast fun surprises at your doorstep (i.e. flowers versus a beheaded rattlesnake), the return of the WINNERS archetype, and manage to recover from losing the first recording of the episode due to a technical difficulty (i.e. not hitting record to begin with). SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to ge...

Kelly & Katai discuss Christopher Pike's THE VISITOR. They talk about tedious Ouija sessions, messy corpses, alien love, and "In a Jar: Teen Talk," the conversation starter game that is not sweeping the nation. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.ins...

Kelly & Katai talk about The Nancy Drew Case Files Case #51: A MODEL CRIME. They once again marvel at how losing five pounds turns you into a goddess, the cost v. benefit of throwing an entire competition for a promotion, and the cutthroat world of catalogue fashion. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN...

Kelly and Katai enjoy William Sleators HOUSE OF STAIRS, a Twilight Zone-y tale about five orphans stuck in a labyrinth with a super bitchy food machine. They talk about fat shaming, cover art that does Lola dirty, and the beauty of platonic relationships! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://...