Talking Paragraphs

We've made 50 of these podcasts. Maybe if you cut them all up, you could get one decent episode. Maybe. But, hey, listen anyway. We promise we're just as dumb as anything else you can get at this price and twice as dumb as most cable TV news.

Let's be honest: This is not our best effort. But what are you going to do, not listen? Probably.

Dan got COVID too late for it to be interesting. Paul reviews "Last Night in Soho." Our dynamic duo discuss the woke vs. Chris Pratt social media flap, how Cincinnati is doomed, and preview allegedly hot Christmas toys. Also: A customer service survey. 

Paul returns from back injury and the guy gripe about Facebook's name change, Millenials who fear Gen Z, the meaninglessness of cryptocurrency, and the latest from the front lines of the Chicken Wars.

Special guest host Tyler "T-square" Teske discusses why schools are having a hard time getting their supplies of square fish, rectangular pizza, and mystery meat for school lunches. Native Iowan Johnny Carson is discussed on his 96th birthday. He didn't celebrate. He's dead. Dan attempts a fall movie preview with a guy who hasn't been to the movies since 1993's "Tombstone." Bonus mild -- very mild...

Dan and Paul discuss the tale of a Colorado elk who wore a tire around his neck for two years; apologize for saying something vaguely complimentary about Jon Gruden; Sooners win with a new QB, while Hawkeyes lay an all-too-familiar egg; the Braves win, while the Cardinals sack their manager for "philosophical differences;" and we finish the whole damn thing in under an hour. 

Dan and Paul each recorded this podcast supine in bed and Dan drifted off about halfway in, so a lot of his speech is slurred and babbling. The good news is nobody can tell the difference. Paul makes some good points, but there are long, silent pauses punctuated with a loud "uh" or "um." Paul explains why he doesn't want to use real sound bites in the podcast. Dan does it anyway.

Dan and Paul discuss "The Price is Right" 50th anniversary special, Sooners, Hawkeyes, "Fuck your couch" guy on TikTok, and two positive facts about Tennessee. 

Buddies Dan and Paul meander through half-read headlines and barely noticed news stories for an 1 hour, 10 minutes. Listen for mild amusement.

Dan and Paul talk the death of Norm Macdonald, Jeopardy's host search woes, Paul Finebaum vs. a real gator, the saga of Purdue's big drum, another snotty director doesn't like Marvel movies, and TikTok of the Week.

Dan says "uh" and "um" a lot. Paul pauses before every take, making editing longer and more tedious. That's right. It's another edition of Talking Paragraphs. Join us for humor set to medium.

Low-key duo Dan and Paul trim their wordy format. Less time, more takes. TikTok of the Week. The official Talking Paragraphs Playlists. Questions, comments: Email newsmanone@gmail.com or comment. We'll read your question on the air and mock it openly.

Former newsman and current grad student Daniel Finney chats with his pal Memphis Paul about the latest stupid trend, which animals we think we could beat in a fight, and a TikTok with the final word on the "Field of Dreams" game.

A BLOCK: Special guest retired Army Sgt. Lew Jordan explains Afghanistan was always going to end like this. B BLOCK: Lew joins Dan and Paul in talking about their favorite "G.I. Joe" toys and cartoon episodes.

A Block Thoughts on Afghanistan B Block Field of Dreams game Batman ’89 comic book C Block Emojis new meanings Quiz: Who plays in that ballpark? And a joke from a Johnny Carson rerun

A Block: Pepsi betrayal state fair Airplane passenger taped down Zero hedge of the week B Block: Messi changing teams Remembering JR Richards USWNT loses Iowa vs. Iowa State: Bar version C Block: Game: 90s vs 80s Joke from a British show

A Block: Paul's illness and an amusing note from Zero Hedge. B Block: Watching the silly Olympic sports. C Block: Scarlett Johansson sues Disney over "Black Widow" streaming.

A. Block: Accidentially deleted by hamfisted engineer with a bum knee and numb hands slathered in lidocaine.  'B Block: Recap of the missing A Block, sports talk on Oklahoma and Texas destroying college football, the Cleveland baseball team's dumb new name, and some other dumb stuff that's long been forgotten in a haze of Tylenol and iced tea. C Block: It's really just another part of B Block...

Dan and Paul discuss wild fans at MLB games, the Olympics, Turner and Hooch, and Biz Markie.

Dan and Paul discuss "Dress Coded," Iowa hailstorms, and acts of kindness.

A Block: Airlines suck, Vacation activities, and Dan's injury. B Block: Sport chat on Wimbledon, EuroCup 2020, and #Yankees 70-year-old ball girl. C Block: Entertainment takes: Rick & Morty rule, vacation food, and Line of Duty finale.

A BLOCK: Dan's birthday, Britney Spears' legal troubles, Brett Farve vs. trans athletes, IKEA's bad menu and shots fired in #ChickenWars B BLOCK: #NBAPlayoffs, #EuroCup2020, #MLB pitcher shakedowns, #JeffGordan gets a job C BLOCK: Vacation, the $5-billion Roth IRA, and Salma Hayek's big problem

A BLOCK: Dan and Paul take EuroCup 2020 from the casual soccer fan's perspective. B BLOCK: Why is Paul packing a suitcase ? C BLOCK: Movies: ' Curella ; Comics: Tom King's ' Supergirl ' No. 1; Memes: Batman : The Generous Lover

A BLOCK: Giant Marilyn Monroe visage terrorizes Palm Spring B BLOCK: ESPN sells rage and anguish instead of sports C BLOCK: Reviews: "The Batman's Grave," "The Woman in the Window," and Paul's Drink of the Week.

Dan was going to try to do a nice professional edit on this podcast, but he realized he forget half the things he learned about GarageBand this summer, so he said to hell with it and published the podcast raw and edited. Buckle up you brave six listeners. The weird have turned pro.