Sum On Sleeve Podcast

Here is part 1 of my 3 part series on Toxic Friendships: Ah, toxic friends. From Clueless to Mean Girls to Gossip Girl (is it Pretty Little Liars now?)… Do they only appear in the teenage years? No. These appear through to adulthood, from college/university to the workplace to motherhood to old age (who’s a better grandma?) If you’re reading this right now, you’re probably thinking: “I want to lea...

You can’t seem to get through to your 20 something or 30 something-year-old “kid”. They don’t want to talk to you. At family dinner, they’re on their phones, not much eye contact or they’ll bark one-word answers, possibly roll their eyes at you and scoff every time you make a comment. They eat your food and then leave. Or maybe they even ran away from home and don’t even talk to you. You didn’t ra...

Did you fired or did you quit? Did he break with you? Or did you break up with him? Did she unfriend/unfollow you first? Or did you? How much you care about the answers to these questions depends on your ego. How much you judge someone for how they answer these questions is how hard you judge yourself when a relationship ends for you. Because what is the ultimate outcome of each these questions? I...

What are the excuses that you give yourself when you think no one likes you? Do you want to give up on finding someone to share your life with? Do you think you should be alone because you don’t deserve to be with someone? But then you feel jealous and bitter when you see a couple walking down the street? Or you hear your best friend is getting married and you want the same? I’ve felt this way too...

Life isn’t complicated. Humans and their human stuff make it complicated. And that’s what we do with everything. Like dating. We get all messed up and can’t think straight. I’m here to simplify it for you. When you go on a date, it can only play out in the following ways: 1. You like them but they don’t like you Do they never seem to like you but you like them? Do you really like them? Why do you...

Here’s an easy self-reflection exercise you can do to know yourself better and increase self-awareness. Pick a simple decision and ask yourself WHY 5 times. When I was in grade 6, there was this thing called “Student of the Week”. Each week, a kid would do a short presentation about themselves, like their favourite food, music, colour etc. You know…as a way to teach a kid how to speak in front of...

When I started telling people about my blog, one of the first questions was, “Have you gotten negative comments? Have there been mean comments? Met any trolls? Anyone say shit about you?” And my answer is YES. Obviously. But there are two categories: comments that are actually thought provoking and/or helpful AND comments that are intentionally hurtful. The ones that are actually helpful are easy...

“How did an INTROVERTED, ASIAN CANADIAN MILLENNIAL who grew up with traditional, immigrant parents find her husband online with ZERO dating experience?” In 2013, I ended an 8-year long relationship and entered the ‘scary’ online dating world for the first time. I was a nervous little lamb going out into the big, bad world. I had all these thoughts in my head: … What am I supposed to talk about? …...

I met my husband online back in 2013 and lately, I’ve noticed a lot of people complaining about the online dating scene. WHAT’S GOING ON? What has this technology done to our generation? HAS IT ABUSED US? SHOULD WE BLAME IT? OR HAVE WE BEEN ABUSING IT? AND WE SHOULD BE BLAMING OURSELVES? In this podcast, I talk about what technology has done to our generation in our pursuit of love and why we need...

I share how an embarrassing and devastating moment as a kid taught me my life lesson about competition. Let’s change the definition of competition. Growing up, I was a very competitive kid. I remember when I was in grade 4, I was a fast runner. I competed in the 200m dash. I got first place in the semi-finals and got to go to the regionals. I was pumped, excited, looking at the people around me li...

Let’s talk about control. As a recovering perfectionist, the moment I hit my first rock bottom at the age of 16, I realized it was my fear of losing control that made me resort to destructive behaviours such as disordered eating and self-harm. It was as though the power I had over how much or little food I ate and how much pain I inflicted on myself justified the lack of control I had over people....

Growing up as an Asian Canadian, comparing one kid to another was the norm. Who’s doing better in school? Who got fatter? Who is better at xyz? And when you grow up with this mentality like myself, your self-esteem can become fragile because it all depends on how you compare to the person beside you. So if you ever feel like you’re not enough because someone else is better, please listen to me. No...

“I’m not scared; I’m just not motivated to start my goals right now.” “I’ll start my diet on Monday.” “Watching Netflix on a Friday night is way more fun than going out and meeting someone.” “I don’t have time to work out.” “Paying off that student loan can wait; these shoes cannot. YOLO!” I’m going to be straight up with you. Lack of time, motivation, energy, YOLO, FOMO etc are merely excuses tha...

“You can’t use those words to describe that culture unless you belong to that culture…because then you can use whatever words you want right?” “Oh you can’t say that word; it’s politically incorrect.” “You better do or say this or you’ll offend their culture.” “We don’t use the hyphen when we identify our culture. We’re Chinese Canadians, not Chinese-Canadians.” I’ve been on the receiving end of r...

“It’s called freedom of speech and I’m entitled to my opinion.”⁣ “I say what I want when I want.”⁣ “I don’t care what you think. That’s just how I feel.”⁣ ⁣Our parents, teachers, and the media shoving “Because I said so” down our throats is making us sh*t “Because I’m entitled to my opinion.“⁣ ⁣We’ve become reactive beings who form opinions based on our emotional responses without connecting them...

Money, money, money...MONEY   This is at the top of almost everyone's minds.   How can we get more of it? How can we save it? How can we use it to our advantage?  Listen to Part 2 of 2 where Brian C Chung (Real Estate Consultant, Chartered Accountant) share his 3 tips to increase your financial literacy knowledge on managing money, saving and investing. 

Money, money, money...MONEY   This is at the top of almost everyone's minds.  How can get more of it? How can get save it? How can we use it to our advantage?   Listen to Part 1 of 2 where Brian C Chung (Real Estate Consultant, Chartered Accountant) share his 3 tips to increase your financial literacy knowledge on managing money, saving and investing. 

3 SIGNS TO WATCH FOR WHEN IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP Many people question how long-distance relationships work and whether they’re worth it. If you are dealing with a long-distance relationship and curious if it’s working, watch this video to learn about 3 signs of a healthy long-distance relationship.  Long-distance relationships have been on the rise ever since good “old” technology ha...

Imagine your Asian parents holding hands, hugging, kissing, making out on the couch. Cringe, shudder, gross. I grew up with the kind of parents that barely touched. How has that affected my views on physical affection and parenting?

I can't believe it's been a year since Crazy Rich Asians came out in theaters During that time, my husband and I were able to get away and have a date night. Oh just one of those things couples should do every now and then especially when they’re busy AF as parents). The hype around Crazy Rich Asians got to me. As mentioned before, I’m not one of those people who fall prey to FOMO (Fear Of Missing...

So parents or parents-to-be, do you ever hear that piece of advice, “Cherish these moments while your children are still young because, in a blink of an eye, they’ll be all grown up” I’ll admit I’ve said something like this to other parents a bunch of times without even thinking about it. I want you to know that it's totally okay to take a moment for yourself, check your phone, drink that coffee,...

Although I’ve met bullies at all ages, it’s when you’re a kid that you’re the most vulnerable, where the hate hurts the most, and horrible, unnecessary crap happens. Here are 2 true stories of myself standing up to bullies as a kid.

It’s my time to reflect on those sometimes annoying, mandatory Chinese family dinners growing up and how they’ve changed as I got older.

Momsomnia, restless nights, insomnia, broken sleep. Why can’t we just go to sleep and wake up all refreshed? At this time, I’d say 80% of the time, my daughter sleeps through the night. However, I’ve only slept through the night 20% of the time. Why? “Momsomnia”. I’ve heard of this before from other moms. I remember my mom telling me how she’d lose sleep worrying about us and I just assumed she’s...

I’m an introvert and I don’t like small talk. I don’t take pleasure in chatting about the weather, news, sports, the condos they’re building down the street and other miscellaneous topics. So what do introverts want to talk about?