Strumpet Radio Hour

SRH is 1 year old! In honor of lasting a whole year and garnering 12 whole fans, Bean and Susie revisit a never-before-aired episode of the podcast they were too ashamed to post. Stay tuned to find out how much Susie has grown as a person (not that much), and Bean's changing opinions on genitalia descriptors!

You guys begged for more griping, and the gals are delivering! Bean talks more about her IUD nonsense and contraceptive conspiracies. Susie tells all about the poop drama from a neighborhood she no longer lives in.

How do you get over a pretend drug addiction? Should the death penalty be legal (for Bean only)? Is Susie single? The gals are back to answer more of your questions!

The gals rallied for this episode, but please grant them some slack. It's so hot, the candle debt collectors are after Bean, and Susie has been without power for 81 days.

Bean talks of her journey to becoming a candlestick maker and desperately begs Susie to invest in her company. Susie doesn't understand why Instagram influencers wear swimsuits in the shower. Bonus: Bean reveals a secret crush on a pair of controversial siblings!!

Did bush do 9/11? What will the AI uprising look like? How much vaseline does it take to fill a bathtub? Find out this week, as the gals answer all your burning questions and more!

Incest porn, pickup artists, and Joe Biden! Today's episode is jam-packed with so many things you'll wish you never heard. Happy birthday to Bean's sister! You are now 15 and/or 16 years old, which as we all know is the same age Bean was when she peaked.

Disclaimer: Bean's mic malfunctioned this week. Listen at your own risk. This week the gals gripe about mean children from their past, and Bean reveals that she does not reciprocate the sentiment of being BFFs with Susie. Susie cries, live on-air.

You won't believe the Starbucks secret menu items you can get with this one simple life hack! Fueled by nothing but Soylent, Bean has suddenly gained the confidence and ego of a 6'2 man and dominates today's episode. Susie struggles to articulate anything meaningful, but she does offer some tips on how to make award winning smoothies.

Where the heck did the strumpets go?! Susie ran off the California, and Bean is recoiling from that devastating loss. But not to worry, the gals still manage to be as nasty as ever and make most of this episode about urine. Strap in and stay tuned!

This week the gals discuss their new hobby: running for the gays. Bean reveals her plan to kidnap Susie and keep her in a barn (probably because she's jealous that Susie has both brains and beauty), and Susie tries to guess the plot to Pride and Prejudice.

The gals are back again to bring you more low-energy content! As per usual, Susie gripes about her very unhealthy love life, and Bean tries to offer some (questionable) advice. After this brief and ineffective therapy session, the strumpets compare nipples and itemize their last will and testaments.

Despite much protest and getting cancelled at least three times (by David), the gals have managed to churn out 20 episodes of incoherent content! To celebrate, Susie describes how she ended things with her quarantine bf. Bean confesses that she wants to suck Colonel Sanders' fingers.

Remember episode 18? Well this episode is what that conversation devolved into. Bean tells us about the death of her beloved bearded dragon, and Susie shares all about her erotic nightmares. Several points during the show the gals are completely unintelligible, maybe you can figure out what they're trying to say!

In this week's hardly coherent episode, the gals both get buzzed off of very little alcohol and decide to pivot the podcast model to women's health. Bean insists on bringing up the Bible and Susie continues to spout unnecessarily vile language. The gals also touch on the heavy topic of inherent power imbalances in heterosexual relationships. Stay tuned for a rollercoaster of emotions!

The quarantine blues are hitting the gals hard in this episode, but that doesn't stop them from trying to make content. Bean and Susie spend too long talking about their thirst for Brendon Urie, and we finally find out the gals' opinions on child leashes. Bean also admits to committing hate crimes in Animal Crossing (a game Susie, sadly, is unable to play).

Remember last episode when Susie described getting dumped over FaceTime? Turns out that wasn't the whole story! Tune in to listen to Susie (in gross detail) put her ex on blast. Bean learns of Justin Trudeau's sketchy past, and the gals discuss the benefits of cybersex.

Have you been wondering how your two favorite strumpets have been doing amidst this global pandemic? The answer is BAD! Just days after Susie was tragically dumped, Bean demanded they record an episode to capture Susie’s pain as it was actively destroying her. Through teary eyes and a broken heart, Susie bravely documented her quarantined-and-destroyed love life for the history books. Halfway thro...

Bean turns this episode into a Mormon news report, and Susie recounts getting bullied by a 5th grader wearing a fedora. Corrections: This episode was recorded a month ago when the COVID-19 situation was still developing. Diabetes does put you at greater risk and children are not immune. Stay the fuck home!

The gals talked so much in Episode #013 that they had to cut the last 30 minutes into a special bonus episode all about how much they cry.

The Strumpets are back from another abrupt and ambiguous hiatus! In part one of this two-part adventure, the gals grossly and without hesitation overshare details of very intimate parts of their lives. Bean gives her best tips for sex prep, and Susie gives her very unhygienic opinion about post-coital showering.

This week Susie airs her anxieties about pregnancy (despite the fact that she gets a recreational abortion every month). Bean plugs an up-and-coming feet pic business. The gals also give a play-by-play of a house party that they attended and promptly left.

This week the gals discuss the rapid changes happening in their lives - Bean is thriving in the showbiz industry, Susie is trying to hold onto her bank account information. Bonus: Bean drones on about her pseudo-intellectual literary takes.

The gals finally return after an ambiguous holiday hiatus! Bean divulges into her newfound standup career and anal apartment habits. Susie catches us all up on the tragedy that is her life and reveals her abnormal amount of Jello knowledge.

Find out if Susie and Bean are team Edward or team Jacob. Bean also talks about publicly humiliating a fellow classmate, and Susie gives a very inconsistent retelling about a hot yoga documentary.